CHAPTER FIVE-BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS

Julia would wake ahead of the baby, though she checked on him before heading downstairs. She averaged four and a half hours of sleep a night. She started her days crying on the patio where she smoked and cried until someone or everyone woke up. It was turning into a morning ritual. It had been one week. She head onto the patio when it got too heavy on her. When she finished crying, she would turn around and go back inside until the next time.

She would force down the urge to drink or drug. One day during the week she'd gone through Tavin's room, searching for drugs. She'd made a mess and she came up empty. He had been telling her the truth when he denied having any drug stash. She swore she knew better, because drug addicts always have a stash somewhere. Tavin was pissed when he found her putting his room back together. "If all drug addicts have a fuckin' stash, then where is yours?" He asked. Suddenly it made sense to her that she wasn't thinking clearly.

She started crying. "Well, I don't use anymore. Sometimes, you do." She motioned around his room.

"You're invading my space and my privacy."

"You don't have anything in here to invade." She argued. "I woulda found it."

"Would you like me going through your room?"

"Go ahead. It's all notebooks and snacks." She cried, sitting on Kelly's sketch chair. "I would say sorry...can you buy me some vodka?"

"No. Why you wanna drink?"

"Cause it's fun." She cried, then she laughed. "You wouldn't understand."

"I understand wanting to use." He replied. "Whatever the reason."

"I know, but..."

"What were you looking for?"

"Anything. I'm not choosy."

"You would use while watching the baby?" He asked, looking toward Tarin as he bounced in his bouncer.

"Huh? No."

"It's why there's no drugs here, Julia. I would do the same fucking thing. Think about it."

She cried. She looked at the baby. She cried more.

"Have you talked to Jay yet today?" He asked. She shook her head. She never bothered him at work. "Call him." He said. That was Tavin's answer whenever she cried or whenever she started her moods. There was only so much he could say to her, do for her. He could manage her when she wanted drugs, explain why she wasn't making sense. But talking her out of her crying fits, he couldn't do that. He also didn't want to see her sink into a depression where she couldn't function either. She needed time. "It's only been a week, Red. You need time."

"More than a day. More than a week."

"Take all the time you need." He said, watching her as she occupied herself with the baby, which was another problem. She was replacing one with another. He never had to wonder where his baby was, because he was with her. She wouldn't leave his side and would get emotional if and when someone tried to take him from her. He dreaded when Kelly came to visit that evening. Her mother picked her up and brought her home that morning.

"Julia, you know Kell's coming over."

"I know." She nodded.

"I know you're attached to him-"

"Sure. Hand him over. Yeah, I can do that. "

"I don't mean hand him over."

"I should be used to handing over kids. Sure, take them all." She handed Tarin to Tavin. "There, all done. All fucking better, just give him back to her."

"Julia, I don't mean-"

"I know what you mean. I only been taking care of him since the day he was born. Doing her fucking job. Right? I am so easily replaced." She cried.

"Julia, please don't do this to me. Please." He begged her and he wasn't used to begging or pleading with a woman. He didn't need a meltdown from her. She was fast approaching one.

"One day at a time...choose the people..." She droned, pushing her way out the back door.

"Julia, I am not replacing you." He called after her from the door. "Where you going?"

"I don't know." She answered. "I don't know." She screamed. "I don't know."

"I can't leave. Julia, I-" He followed her down the drive. "Where are you going?"

"A grave."

Kelly looked good. She looked like she was herself. She looked healthy. She smiled. She was easy and relaxed. She carried herself differently. It had been a long two weeks and she took every second of her hospitalization seriously. She took the antidepressant they gave her and she worked through therapy sessions, knowing how she felt was irrational, her thoughts were negative. She turned it around for herself. She asked for the help when she needed it. She accepted the help she was given.

How odd it looked to have someone else holding Tarin, especially his mother. She took right to him. She held him like anyone else would. They stared at her like they expected her to fall apart or have some reaction, but she looked happy to see him, hold him, feed him. She sensed it from them.

"Guys, I am fine. So is he." She assured them as not one of them trusted having him in her arms. She looked around the room and they all looked so tense. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing. It's not important right now." Tavin answered.

"So, where's Julia? I wanted to see her, too."

"Uh, she left. She's not having a good day."

"Oh, well when you see her, tell her I got her message." Kelly said.

"What message?" Tavin asked.

"She'll know what I mean. I got it loud and clear. Wow." She said, rocking the baby in her arms. She watched Tavin get dinner ready. "She's all over the baby. Her energy. Her message."

"What's it say?"

"I can't tell you. I mean, it doesn't translate into words. It's energy. It's emotion, can't put it into words. You know." She explained. "Loosely translated, she said every child needs his mother, or her mother. Energy, it's all the same."

"Where did she go?" Alex asked, approaching Kelly. He placed his hand on the baby's back as he lay on Kelly's chest.

"She left saying she was going to a grave."

"Caroline."

"Oh, she's not with her child. I feel her."

"That's how she feels about it?" Alex asked, his hand rubbing the baby's back again. Her message was strongly worded, distressed. "Wow." He pulled his hand back. "She gave you a piece of her mind, huh?" He asked, feeling remnants of Julia's rage and love as they intertwined through each other. They were the same and she couldn't separate them or differentiate between them internally. Add in a dash of fear and splash of pride, that was Julia's message in a nutshell.

"What do you think she said, Alex?"

"I would have to think about it a while." He answered. "So should one of us go after her?" Alex asked as the house phone rang. He answered it and it was Jay looking for Julia.

"She didn't call me today? Can I talk to her?" He asked.

"She's not here."

"Oh, where she at?"

"Jay, who's Julia know that's dead?"

"Caroline. That's why I'm calling."

"No, here. Who's dead?"

"Rose." He answered.

"Oh, well she's with Rose." Alex looked at Tavin and Kelly. "She's with Rose?" He said, shrugging.

"Oh, duh. That makes sense." Kelly said.

"She's been gone a couple hours. Who is Rose?" Alex asked.

"Um, her mom. Alex, you remember Rose."

"Kinda. A little. But not really. You gonna go get her?"

"No, she'll come home."

"You got better stuff to do?"

"No, Alex, I don't, but-"

"You asked why she hates you? This is why." He hung up the phone. "Where is Rose?" He asked his brother.

"He's trying to deal with it too. And her on top of it. Kinda harsh, Alex." Tavin said.

"Kinda true, too. Where is Rose?"

"Um, Shades cemetery I think." Tavin answered. "She never talks about Rose, so I'm not really sure. Cal would know."

The phone rang again. When Alex answered, all he heard was 'I'll go', then a click.

Sure, I'll leave work for this...Jay thought. He was one warning away from getting fired anyway. He'd missed so much time at work from the lab visits and the trip with her to have Caroline that he had his last warning from the sweet and pleasant HR girl. So as he clocked out, his first shift back on evenings, he believed he was unemployed when he swiped his card. He left it hanging at the time clock and he walked out. Julia would not be pleased about this either. This was the reason he didn't want to leave. As he hopped the second bus that would drop him off at the shades' ball room, he wondered if she was even in the cemetery anymore? She could have long left there and he would be going there for no reason at all. Fuck it...there were other jobs. He'd find one. The gates were closed out front of the place, so he walked around the lake and head in through the gap in the fence. That gap had always been there and they'd never sealed it. He remembered drinking in this cemetery as a teenager. It was quiet and no one was around to bother them. Only the dead in their graves. He passed the mausoleum, or the Mauz as it was called. He smiled as he passed it. He'd fucked her in there one night.

It had been years since Rose died. He wandered the cemetery road, trying to remember in which section Rose was buried. He'd only been there one time and that was her funeral. Other than that, he only drank there with his friends and his cousin. He didn't even go to his own grandmother's funeral, but she was laying there somewhere around him.

She needs a phone...He opted to call her name out loud as he walked, since cell technology was not her friend lately.

"Jayson?" She yelled from across the grass, down a slope. She sat on the ground. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, Jules. What are you doing?" He asked, walking to her. He took a seat next to her on the dew damp grass.

"Visiting my mom." She answered. "How did you find me?"

"This is the only grave I could think of."

"I'm ok. You didn't have to come."

"What are you doing?"

"Catching up. You're grandmother wasn't as receptive." She said, poking his arm. "Angry woman, angry ghost."

"Sorry about that." He said.

"You come to take me home?" She asked. "I guess it's time. I been here long enough."

"Gates are closed."

"I know. We gotta go out past the Mauz. It's how I got in. When I got here I sat by the lake for a while, trying to figure out what to do with your grandmother."

"What did you do to her?"

"I put her in the Mauz." She answered as she slid through the gap in the fence. When he was through, she turned and held onto the thick wrought iron fencing. He turned with her. "See?" She pointed to the Mauz. "Yeah, I still got him." Julia yelled at her. She gave her the finger, then said, "Go". White, transparent orbs of light spiraled out of the Mauz. "See." She pointed. "Off she goes. The bitch."

"Julia,"

"I'm just fucking with her, Jayson. Geeze. How many times she fuck with me? I was so respectful back then." She complained. "Hey, so...were you at work? I thought you worked all day?"

"My first night back." He replied.

"Should have stayed at work. Why would you leave?"

"I told Alex you'd come home and he said 'this is why she hates you', so-"

"He guilted you."

"Yeah. He guilted me out of a job."

"Fuck it, Jay. There's other jobs."

"Excuse me?" He asked. "Jules, you're the one that wanted me there in the first place."

"And what did I tell you? Did you listen? I said that you had to get us what we wanted then you could go back to making the best pizza ever. Isn't that what I said?" She asked. "I never gave you further instructions, This plan's a go, because of you. You chose to stay there."

"But I like it."

"Do ya really? You like taking two busses to and from work? You like 40 hours a week? No. You lying. You been miserable the whole fucking time. You yourself said you can't smoke anymore because of the damn place."

"You had me give Jody my job."

"You took Jody there and gave him your job. I never asked you to do that. You chose that too." She argued. "Jay, you threw yourself off balance. Not me and Jody." She stopped him. "You were happier tossing pizzas, smoking weed and when was the last time you ran?"

"I don't have time for it."

"You used to run to shake all those bad vibes off you. It was your thing."

"I go to the gym with Jody."

"You ain't a gym rat. Your reason was never fitness."

"I was trying to bulk up a little."

"Ha, you'll bulk up when I grow titties." She laughed. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"But I'm small."

"No, that's not the word I would use to describe you."

"What would you call this?"

She looked him over. "Hmm, strong?"

"Skinny."

"Oh, no. You're muscle. Not sculpted though. You're fine, Jay."

"Fine."

"No, I mean fine-fine. Not just ok-fine. Damn. You got the V, what's the problem?"

"What the fuck is a V, Julia?"

"This." She pulled at his uniform, untucking it from his pants. She held his shirt up. She pointed at his waist, drawing her finger over his lower abdomen. "The V."

"That?"

"Oh, yes. It's a turn on." She said, pulling his shirt over his waist. "Where is this coming from? You sound like some 12 year old girl that doesn't like her body."

He watched as a car had stopped across the square and parked. He eyed the two men in the front seat. The hairs stood up on his arms. His gut churned like it did the day he thought she was in Caleb Downing's truck. Jay started them walking again, putting a hand on her shoulder and holding onto her. "Walk." He said calmly, suddenly happy that his brother had guilted him into leaving his job to get her out of a cemetery.

"Jay, you're hurting my shoulder." She complained. He put his arms around her waist and he leaned over her, walking close against her body. "Jay, what are you doin'?"

"You still sore?"

"Yeah, a little. It's only been a week, Jayson."

"Yeah, but those feet don't hurt." He mentioned.

"No, weirdo, they don't."

He thought of where they were. No where near Tavin's. Closer to Sandy's. Jay saw the car door open. He spun her around. "Is that them?"

"Yes." She answered.

"Run with me. Stay close." He had her hand and he took off at a sprint.

"Where?" She yelled as he led her through alleys and yards away from Maverick Square. He kept a firm grip on her hand. He did not dare let her go. They stopped by a fence, which would take her a minute to climb. He would have hopped it and been gone, but not Julia. "Can you jump?" He asked as he hoisted her into the air. He dropped her over the fence and she complained as her sandal fell off.

"Um, I could try. Where?" She asked as he hopped over the fence. "I need a connection." She gasped as she caught her breath. He pushed her down and they crouched by the fence in someone's nice suburban yard. He stuck his hand in hers. "Then connect."

"Not to you." She shook her head.

"Then run." He told the girl who always said she was no runner. He took off with her again and they made it nearly to Sandy's when the car rounded the corner to the street. They knew where they were heading.

"If we can get inside, there's guns." She whispered.

"Guns? Fuck. I ain't trying to catch a case. What-who are they?" He asked, peering from behind a bush at the end of the block. "What kinda guns?"

"5 handguns and ammo. The rifle from Jersey."

"What rifle from Jersey? The one Jody brought?"

"Yeah and ammo."

"How about Jess?" He asked as he pulled her into the yard five houses away from Jess's. The houses and fences and shrubs were their cover. They were not used to running from living persons. They crept through the yards one by one and Jay put her up and over any obstacle. "You are really out of shape." He criticized her.

"What about Jess?" She asked, letting that out of shape comment burn in the back of her brain.

"Can you connect to her?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. I'm sure she'll just be so willing to-"

"What are you two doing here?" She asked from the pool where she had a visitor. "Finally got Louann outta here and here you two are." She complained, leaving go of her visitor. She swam across the pool that started this whole ordeal and she hung on the edge.

"I need your help." Jay said. "We, we need your help."

"Doing what?" She smiled, her voice softened.

"There's gotta be another way." She said to Jay. They saw the spotlight from the car, as it drove by and shined down the drive ways, looking into yards. Julia leaned on the pool. "Well, Jess, I need a ride." She took her hands and she catapulted herself through Jess's nervous system.  She was wet and slippery inside. As soft as a kiss and equally as sensual. Julia felt it all over again. She dipped inside this girl and she found that spot in her brain that craved and let Jess feel that all over again. Drunk on vodka and wine in a happier time and place. "I'm sorry, Jess." Julia said, leaving her go. "I'm so sorry."

She latched onto Jayson and they disappeared. She jumped as fast as she could away from Jesslyn and left her and her friend confused in the pool.

"Feel it, Jay? Do you remember this?"

"Oh, it felt good. It's been awhile."

"She does that and I just turned it all back on. You know how long it took to fade her? Damn it."

"Where are we?"

"We're in Maryland." She answered. "Connecting to her feels like fucking." She complained as she pulled open the door to the apartment building. She led him up three flights of old creaky stairs to a door marked 3C and she knocked. She knew her husband was a liar before he answered the door. She knew he was a liar that night they made love at his house. He may have given up his extra pussy, but Ben...not so much. "Don't say a fucking word, Jay. Just chill, ok? I swear. Just keep it to yourself."

"Sure. Ok. Where are we?"

Ben opened the door in a pair of cut off sweats. "Hey, Julia." Ben said surprised to see her. "He didn't say you were joining us."

"He didn't know. I'm sorry. I need to speak to him."

"Come in." Ben said, looking at the handsome Jayson. "Do I know you?"

"I'm his cousin." Jay replied, shaking his head.

"Send him out."

"Don't be silly. Please." Ben touched Jay's shoulder and guided them inside the apartment. "We were about to sit and eat. You can join us."

"Uh, thanks. Ben, this is Jayson. My boyfriend." She said, stressing the word boyfriend so that Ben understood. She didn't sense the defensiveness as she had the last time. "Ben is..."

"I know who Ben is." Jay said, extending a hand to him. "Great to meet ya." This is like Deja-vu...Jay thought.

"Chess, we have company." Ben said, heading into the kitchen.

Chess peered into their living room. Dressed in his fatigue pants, his boots. He wore no shirt. His pale, scrawny chest, leaning around the wall. "Julia?" He came out and was surprised to see Jay near her. "Hey." He hugged her. "You doing ok?" He asked squeezing her tight.

"I am. Yeah. OK."

He hugged Jay next. "You ok, brother?" Jay nodded in response. "What are you two doing here?" He asked.

"You said you'd hide us. So hide us." Julia answered.

"I said I would help you hide." He pointed at her. "What did he do?"

"He came along for the ride." She said smartly, looking toward Ben.

"You coulda called."

"I could have. Who are the men in black?" She asked, wandering through their apartment. She helped herself to the fridge and got a drink. "Jay?"

"Um, please. Yes, anything." He said, avoiding the elephant in the room.

"Ray's or yours?"

"Both."

"Ray's are not real." He answered the easy question first, taking the beer from her before she twisted the cap off.

"I'm not pregnant anymore." She protested as he reached back in the fridge. He handed her Mountain Dew and two cups.

"Uh, yeah, no." He said as he twisted of the cap and drank it himself. "No."

She poured two cups worth of Mountain Dew and handed it off to Jay. "The men in black."

"An off shoot of homeland security similar to what we do." He answered, looking at Ben. "A relatively new group of misfits who follow people around who are high risk." He paused. "Like you, Julia."

"What? How am I a risk to national security?" She laughed.

"The baby that is no longer in your belly. If anyone had knowledge of that, then they could take you and her. You are carrying, or were carrying, a biological weapon."

"You have got to fucking be kidding me." Jay said. "Our daughter is and was absolutely harmless."

"In the wrong hands, though. Now explain where she went."

"No one needs to know where she is."

"Explain that to them."  He answered. "Wanna spend the rest of your life in Gitmo with Al Qaeda?"

"I am not a terrorist. We aren't-"

"Know what they do to them down there? I can't get you out of this. I'm not a snitch, but I can't get you out of this."

"Chess-"

"Produce the baby or her body." He told her.

"No."

"Then you need to run. And you'll run till it all falls apart, when no one gives a shit anymore. Until then, you're on a watch list. You won't be able to travel. They will have every government and law enforcement agency looking for you. Not just the men in black. You will eventually get caught. If you don't give them what they want, you will be transferred to Cuba where they will torture you till they get the information they want. Are you prepared for that?"

"But we-"

"No," He shook his head and he took a drink of his beer. "You. Not you and him. You. She was inside you." He was angry, but holding it in. "You have us all in a corner here. Our lives are going to be open books. Thanks to you."

"I had reasons. Good reasons."

"I understand your reasons. I don't question them. I would do the same thing under the circumstances." He took another drink. "I took a lie detector test."

"Huh?" Jay asked.

"They know you're not pregnant. I told them where she was. Address and all." He grinned. "I wasn't lying. But they dug up the lawn in front of the bed and breakfast."

"Bullshit."

"I'm not bullshitting you." He said. "I lied but I was truthful according to the lie detector."

"Oh, shit." Jay commented, having googled the bed and breakfast. "They dug up the apple tree." He held the phone up for her.

"And that's how they know where you are." Chess said, looking at the cell in Jay's hand. "What's the plan, Julia?"

"I-uh-"

"Quick. What's the plan?"

"None of your business." She answered. "You don't have to lie or be honest anymore."

She looked at Ben. She drank down her Mountain Dew and she gave him a hug. "See you in a year, Mr Morgan. Stay safe."

"You stay safer." He had a feeling he knew where she was going. "How'd you get here?" He asked, looking for the clue in her answer.

"We hitched a ride." Jay answered for her, finishing his soda. The last soda he would drink for a long time, if ever. He followed Julia.

"Where you going?" Jay asked as she pulled the door shut behind them. "You are not going alone. Where are you going?" He asked as she wound her way down the stairs. They heard the door to the building open below them.

"Shit, Jay." She whispered, backing him up the steps. She held out her hand as she looked down three steps at him. "I hear Cuba is lovely this time of year."

"Julia, there has to be another way." He said, looking over the railing as the suits tread the stairs toward the third floor.

"You know where I'm going. Are you in or are you out?" She looked over his shoulder as the footsteps closed in. 

He grabbed her hand. "A year is a long fucking time, Julia."

"I'll be ok." She whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

"Dammit, Julia." He took her other hand in his. "Just fucking jump."

They sat on the ground on a blanket outside the addition. He inhaled the smoke when he lit the weed that he packed tightly in the makeshift, aluminum foil pipe.  He held a deep breath, then handed the small pipe off to her. She took a long hit too. The fire crackled in front of them, the warmth felt good on her skin. The smoke kept the mosquitoes away. She sat quietly and held onto the silence for as long as it lasted because Jayson was not pleased.

Her thoughts drifted to Jesslyn. She rode Jess's energy to Maryland and then to the farmhouse, but she had so many memories with Jess, this feeling wouldn't fade anytime soon. Sitting next to this fire where she used to kiss her girl or touch her girl only intensified the feelings. She was sure that Jess was at home with her visitor or at home alone thinking of the very same memories, stirring up vodka soaked memories.

"What are you thinking about?" Jay asked, laying back on the blanket from the barn.

"Jess." She answered. "My Jess." Not Chess's Jess or Jay's Jess or the shared Jess, but the Jess she called baby girl and the Jess she fell in love with. The Jess she stowed away here and kept safe. Her friend Jess. The Jess she wanted to get in the pool with. The Jess who'd moved on until she literally mind fucked her.

"Why'd you apologize to her?"

"Cause I raped the girl's brain. I opened all that up aagain for us, Jay."

"I doubt she feels raped." He laughed. "Why wouldn't you connect with me? You have before."

"I don't wanna force that." Julia replied. There was a lot of good and bad in their history. Anytime she connected, it all intensified for her. She didn't want him plodding around her mind. It was dark in there. She'd become vulnerable then. Jess couldn't come back on her. Jess never wanted anything from her other than love.

"It's funny, you know. You only asked for a day. Now we're facing a year."

"It's a big house, Jayson." She said, looking at the fire. "Or I can take you home and come back. I have enough memories and ghosts to keep me company." She laughed. "There's a school of Mexicans down the block, too."

"Like you'd ever go there."

"Nah, I wouldn't. I'd harass Chess at the fortress first."

"How do you know where he is?"

Julia grinned, looking sideways at him. "Oh, Jay, how do you?"

"You wanna know the story?"

"Nope." She giggled.

"Alright, liar." He said, taking off his shirt. He folded it and he put it beneath his head on the ground. He looked up at the sky, pitch black and moonless.

"Ok, you tell me how you know where he is and then I will tell you how I know where he is." She swiveled sideways and looked down at him.

"Gimme a clue." He smiled up at her.

"Elena Gilbert." She replied.

"Aw, come on. I knew it was you." He said, closing his eyes. He looked embarrassed. "I asked you if you were you and you told me Elena Gilbert. Is she a character in Ann of Green Gables?"

"No, Jay. Vampire Diaries."

Jay started telling her his story. Not from the beginning, but he had said they were about 6 months in to their adventure in zombie world. He and psycho-pussy, his words exactly, were still in Oaks. She was perfectly content living in Oaks. They'd found a place with two fire places, an old Victorian style home with a winding stair case and bright colored wall paper. Gaudy, had been Jay's description, but the décor matched psycho-pussy's mood to a tee. Up, cheery, fun. The girl was a colorful companion, sexy as hell and had the frame of mind to match it. She was not a survivor, rather she was a watcher and waiter, which set him off from time to time because he was used to a certain standard. The spirit of teamwork and setting down roots. He would have preferred a solitary cabin somewhere with a water source and a clearing for a garden. Someplace out of the way and safe. Safe, being the operative word. Psycho-pussy preferred a more nomadic lifestyle. They moved from place to place on a whim and they used up whatever supplies they had there, then they'd relocate. This wanderer lifestyle drove him crazy as much as she drove him crazy. She would have mood swings at the drop of a hat. She'd be happy and sweet and completely normal one day and the next she'd be angry, insulting, and argumentative. Sometimes she'd isolate herself and barricade herself, because she also had panic attacks. Bouts of irrational fear even in a world with walkers outside. He tried to accommodate her. He tried to make it all better and when she was angry he shied away from her and let her stew, which was only worse because she would escalate into violent episodes, which made him regret teaching her to defend herself and protect herself. He'd given her the knowledge to kill zoms and at least fend off an attacker enough to run away, which she could do very well, because Stef was a runner and light on her feet. She could keep up with him and then leave him behind. She had stamina in and out of bed. The girl was amazingly, physically fit and well put together. So she could, with his training, fight a little bit, which had been a mistake. When she got angry, she would make him leave. She would say 'I can take care of myself, Keller'. So she'd create this whole drama and she'd come after him if he didn't leave.

"In the middle of a zombie apocalypse, she threw me out. More than once, Julia. I almost died three times. Three. I don't care if some doc told me I was immune or not, when they're coming at you, you run." So he ran like Forrest Gump and he fought his way out and Stef found this to be a turn on. "Yes, a turn on. I would never do that to her crazy ass, but psycho-snatch had no shame. No shame at all. So she'd track me, yes, track me and I still have no clue how she did it. She always found me and she brought me home and she put those lips on me or that psycho-pussy on me and I was just putty in her hands."

"Um, Jay, she sounds lovely."

"Oh, she is. She's so sweet and so nice. Julia, I am telling you, if you met her, you would like her. Anyone would. It's men. She hates men in general, but she'll fuck men and make them do things for her. She draws us in and she sucks the common sense right out of our brains and she does it in bed."

"How? I need to take notes."

"You do the same thing. You always have. But you calmed the fuck down a lot. Julia, you were just like her at the first house."

"I never threw you to the zoms, though."

"Oh, you traumatized all of us. You have pulled weapons on us, you have assaulted all of us. You were like little Hitler. We hated you all day and we fucked you all night." He explained this side of her that she never knew existed to that extent. "Julia, when I met this girl, I swear I thought you trained her. Not you right here in front of me, but psycho Julia. That bossy, fucked up nut that we secretly called little Hitler."

"Stop, Jay, I was not that bad."

"My brother stepped in there and tamed your ass. So anyway..."

The third time that she threw him out, he took his pack with him. He had one already set aside because, Jay theorized, if it happened once, then it could happen again. So he left, fought his way out one more time, avoided lurking death and he hit the road. He went where she wouldn't be able to find him or at the very least be allowed in. He footed his way to the fortress. Took a half a day to walk there, but he was determined. He thought if he was going to spend the apocalypse with a crazy, then he was going to the original not a copy. He didn't have the time or the feelings or the energy invested in her to tolerate that abuse. So he went looking for her and Chess. He knew that if there was a zombie world, then Julia and Chess would be surviving it somewhere either alone or together, so he stuck with the current plan, as Julia always stuck to the damn plan, and he wound up at the fortress gate. He waited and then waited and then finally some goons arrived to the fence to see who he was and what he wanted. Words were exchanged, he was looking for Julia Morgan or Julia Fry. Neither girl lived inside those walls. Chess Morgan, Jay hit on that name and after some more of a wait, his cousin welcomed him inside the gate. Chess had said they hadn't seen each other in years. Jay didn't care. Chess had welcomed him inside and put him up in the dorm and he had running water, a clean bed to lay on and his cousin said he would send Hector for him when the meal was ready. Hilda would cook for them. Make yourself at home and Jay showered and took a nap. He woke, took a walk around and looked over the grounds. It hadn't changed much except a couple structures had been raised for the animals. It was clean and safe and no psycho-pussy trailed him. There was no way she'd be able to trace him there. Unless she was psychic too. "She's not. Thank God. But she does toss the word energy around and I start to wonder. Jules, I swear psycho connected to me. How else would she be able to track me?"

"She sounds like fun, Jay. Maybe she'll join us."

"That's not funny."

"I am not joking." Julia replied. "Ever think you connected to her? But please continue."

"That's it. That's how I found Chess. I followed the plan."

"Jayson, please tell me about the fortress."

"It's got a fence and it's made of stone."

"What was inside?" She asked.

"You know Ben?"

"I know Ben, yes."

"You know Ben, how?"

"The same way you know Ben. Please continue."

Hector arrived to the quad as Jay called it, but it was also known as the courtyard. That space between the main building and the dorm building. He had been talking with some of the people who lived there and they shared their survival stories. He met with Damon and a couple of the other guys from the school that he knew well from having worked there, but they didn't know him.

"I know Damon well. Was Mia there?"

"Yes, his girlfriend."

"No, his sister." Julia corrected him.

"Another lover?" Jay asked.

"I have never been intimate with Damon. I was not permitted." She replied.

"Oh, one of those slave and owner things."

"I am not nor have I ever been a slave, Jayson. We have a year. I could train you and then you can tell me whether I was a slave or not."

"Huh? Maybe." He shrugged. "Anyway..."

Hector led him through the side entrance to the main building and he welcomed him into the dining hall, which was empty, but had one table made up for the meal. Where everyone else ate or when, Jay wasn't sure. He sat with his cousin and with Hector as he was Chess's gopher.

"He always was. Is Julio there?"

"Yeah, his son." Jay answered. "Were you permitted to fuck with him?"

"No, but I did. Different owner."

"Thanks, Jules." Jay sat up and placed a couple more logs onto the fire. He took her poker stick and he moved the logs where he wanted them. "Jules, it's gonna be a long year."

"You're telling me about psycho-pussy and I am not getting upset. You are over future lovers? Geeze. I haven't even met Mia or Julio yet."

"But you fucked them."

"I only read about Julio. I never personally did anything with him. Mia is beautiful."

"You don't get at least a little jealous about Stef?"

"You can fuck who you want Jay."

"Ok, Julia."

"You want me jealous?"

"You were. The day we had sex."

"I get upset when you get emotionally attached for some reason."

"I'm only supposed to be emotionally attached to you?"

"Not quite. If you were not emotionally attached to me and someone else at the same time, I would understand it more."

"You're emotionally attached to Chess. Do you think about him when we-"

"No, Jayson."

He laid back on the blanket again.

"He's gay."

"No way." Julia said, holding back the sarcasm.

"Ben's his boyfriend."

"You're kidding." She giggled. "You see them kissin', Jay?"

"I don't have a problem with gay people. You know that. But he's never, ever, ever, not once or remotely even mentioned anything about that."

"Sometimes people surprise you. Sure as hell surprised me."

"Ben seems like a nice guy. I don't know. I didn't spend a lot of time there after that dinner. I rolled out. There were more gay people and the one guy was interested in me. I told him I don't like guys. Plus there were no girls there."

"So you went back to psycho-pussy?"

"No. I went to see Ann first. And that's where I met Elena Gilbert."

The first night they'd spent in the lab after breaking into Stef's apartment, Julia had an unnerving dream with Tavin taking excellent care of her, talking to her and feeding her through a tube. She woke from that and she spoke with Chess awhile. He was released in time to return to base and she and Ray, Jay and Tavin spent one more night in the lab. On the second night, she had another dream altogether and this one didn't involve Tavin or any feeding tubes. 

This second dream she found herself in the library. She thought she was dreaming just like the night before. She toiled in the library 3 days. She'd gone through the supplies that were there as they had left them on their first field trip to the zombie apocalypse. She read a couple books and she stayed put in the bottom floor of that library till she decided that she wasn't accomplishing anything by doing so and she was alone, which she also didn't appreciate. She threw some supplies into a bag, holstered her gun and knife and she wandered the neighborhood around the library till she found a bike. She wasn't walking to any damn fortress. "Because I really am so out of shape." She said, reminding him of his comment he'd made to her earlier that night as he hoisted her ass over fences that she could have climbed. She pedaled her way to the reformatory and being that the road was crowded with the dead, she stashed the bike in the woods and then she did what she would do if she thought she owned the place, she walked in. She skipped the gate altogether as she waited for no one to allow her entrance to her own home. She pulled open the hatch and she walked into their fortress via the tunnel.

"Shit, I never thought of the tunnel."  

"Neither did they. They left it all open and uncovered out there. All they needed was a welcome mat." She laughed. She traveled the distance from point A to point B and she arrived into the kitchen area, back behind the counter in the prep area. That door wasn't locked or guarded either. "Morons should have left the gate open for me." She remarked.

She made her way quietly through the main house to the elevator, then arrived to the second floor where all was quiet. It was evening after all. She'd gone there at dusk and she'd arrived at nightfall. She crept to what should have been his and Macy's bedroom only to open the door and find Chess and Ben in a compromised situation, "Which we will not discuss." Jay winced at the thought. "I have witnessed this a bunch of times and I do not react in a similar fashion."

"Really?" He asked, gawking at her wide eyed.

"We experimented at the fortress in my future." She nodded.

She pulled her weapon as they were awkwardly fumbling for theirs.

"So I say, 'No, wait. I'm not here to hurt anyone'." She had caught them with their pants down. Chess, it was clear to her, had never laid eyes on her before. Their very reaction to a female in their private room was perturbing and she was obviously viewed as a threat. When she drew her weapon, that was fact. "I say, 'I'm looking for someone.' Since they didn't know me, I said, 'Jayson Keller'."

"He just left here. He left a day ago." Ben says.

"Who are you? How'd you get in here?" Chess asked.

She turned her gun away from them, but she didn't holster it. At that moment these two men were strangers and that was not sensible.

"My name is Elena Gilbert, I say to them."  Chess never watched this show with her either. Vampire Diaries was more of a chick show. "I wanna leave. I am not going to hurt anyone. That's what I told them and I start backing away and thinking of the quickest way to get to the kitchen." This obviously was not her fortress and this obviously was not her past or present or future, cause her Chess liked pussy first and dick second. Her Chess was new to dick. Not this Chess, from what she had seen anyway. "So they are interested in how I gained access undetected." Elena Gilbert wanders in holding a gun and not one person even notices. A female with red hair and a pistol intruded upon the most intimate of acts and they were at a loss. They could have taken her if they tried. She wasn't actually going to pick a fight with two grown men, gun or no gun. She holstered her pistol and she answered them. "I came in through the tunnel. That's the way I am leaving. I told them. They actually, Jayson, had no idea what I was talking about. Now, they could have shot me. They could have detained me or restrained me or whatever they did to intruders, but they didn't."

Chess and Ben put on pants and they followed their female intruder through the hall to the back steps and through the first floor to their kitchen area. She led them inside what used to be the pantry and she removed the hatch in the floor. They were shocked. They had no idea it was even there. She picked up her lamp that she'd brought with her and she further guided them into the tunnel, walked the length of said tunnel and described how, if there was a breach on their fence, that they could gather the entire encampment and stow them in that tunnel. They would be safe from the elements. They would be safe from threats. They would be safe during storms, which would come and wreck the place, or half of it. She described how they could stash supplies and food along the length and then weather out the storm or threat and no one would be the wiser. When they reached the end of the tunnel on the outside of their compound, the three of them stood in the tall, waist high grass and wild flowers. They gazed upon the looming and impressive stone fortress. "Cover this hatch. Granted it is in tall grass, but cover it." She warned them.

"How did you know this was here?"

"The internet." Yes, she had once had the internet too. "Where did Jayson go?"

"I have no idea." Chess answered. She knew well and good Chess had a healthy fear of the dark. He refused to jump because of it. She handed him the lamp she held and she directed them back into the tunnel.

"Would you like to stay and leave in the morning?" Ben asked.

"So back through the tunnel I went with my new friends. Chess drove me out to the woods in the morning so I could get my bike and I pedaled away. He told me to come to the gate next time. They were really nice."

"You stayed over night?"

"Oh, yes. In the main house. Very nice accommodations. Better than the library. Better than the dorm, cousin."

"Awe, that's not fair."

"Jay, they were all men. They didn't want a female in there with them."

Julia pedaled her way back to Ann where she parked her new bike and then head inside. She held her weapon drawn and she cleared the library only to come face to face with Jayson Keller sleeping in her bed so to speak with her supplies. She gave him a good kick in his ass and ordered him up and out. Since Chess had no clue who she was, she figured Jayson Keller wouldn't either, so when Jay woke and said her name, she denied it and claimed she was Elena Gilbert. By this point of her dream, she didn't know what to believe anymore and Elena Gilbert seemed the appropriate way to go.

"I woke up at that point to Gigi sticking my damn finger."

Jay explained how he knew she was the real Julia and not Elena Gilbert. If she had stayed for a few more minutes instead of leaving him, she would have known then. The supplies were depleted when he opened the bags. He knew what was there, because he had packed them himself. Even after they had bugged out from the farmhouse, Jay had gone back and he had restocked them with Chess. Chess knew what they'd used from their back up bags at their bug out spot. Also, he had checked the book. He found the shelf as they all knew which one it occupied and there was no dust on the shelf or on the book. It had clearly been moved. No one else other than those in their group would know about that specific book in that specific library.

"When we're lost, we go to Ann."

"So you went back to psycho-pussy."

"Not for a long while. No. I thought she learned her lesson and she was cool for a few weeks. Then she woke up. The dreams stopped. Then she came home."

"We're the same people in and out of the zombie world, Jayson. You went back to psycho-pussy."

"Well, psycho-pussy is better than no pussy at all."

"Well, now you're down with O.P.P." She laughed. "Original-psycho-pussy."

"I can live with that. You can't. Keep telling me to leave. She did it here and you did it at home. And then you both did it at home. I had both of you flipping the fuck out on me at the same time."

"Why'd you dump my Jess?"

"What's she got to do with it?"

"Tell me."

"Cause I love O.P.P. Doesn't get much more simple than that. Where's your ring?" He asked.

"In the bottom of a bottle of hooch out in the still." 

"Since when?"

"Since your brother talked to me. A week ago I guess." She paused. "A week ago I was in a world of pain."

"Now you're not."

"My back still hurts. My-I'm still tender, but it's cool."

"You never felt pain before that."

"Yeah, I have. Labor was a million times worse pain."

"When, Julia?" He asked.

"Um, let's see. I was shot in the head and back. And I lived a good part of a year with unending and constant nerve pain in a wheel chair."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

"So did I." She replied. "Honestly, getting shot is much less painful."

"I was there for both and I have to agree." Jay admitted. "I didn't feel a thing."

"Jay-"

"Seriously. I didn't feel a thing. I remember it and all. It was like a sudden pressure and then nothing. Over and out." He felt her pull back from him. "I'm sorry. I-"

"We can talk about it, if you want. We haven't in a long time. You think we need to?"

"No. We don't. You brought it up is all."

"I'm tired. Do we care what time it is?"

"Here, we're up with the sun. To bed with the dark. You know the drill."

"Maybe I'll sleep better. I been getting four hours."

"Me too. Where we sleeping? Like you said, it's a big house."

"You know the room I want."

"The room we should have had, but you were all like 'no, go ahead. I wanna be surprised'."

"Boy, was I." She laughed. She reached for the bucket of water and she doused the embers in their fire pit. "Thanks for the fire, Jay."

"Anytime."

She stood up. "You coming?"

"You gonna let me?" He asked, standing up. He folded the blanket and left it on the ground by the pit. "Come upstairs, I mean."

"Sure, Jay. You gonna gimme a day?" She poked his chest.

He caught her hand. "From the looks of it, I'm gonna give you a year."

They entered their dark abode, feeling through the dark house till they found a lamp and lighted the way to the second floor. Inside she started thinking. There was work to be done. Moving things and relocating particular belongings. She'd have to go through the clothes and find some that fit her till she lost the baby weight she had gained. Being that she didn't have a drawer full of snacks next to her bed, she doubted weight loss would be a problem. She peeled off clothes to underwear and camisole from Aero. She felt her belly jiggle. She felt her thighs brush together. The cami was a size too small and lifted above her baby fat, or pouch as she called it. Skin no longer taut over a growing baby. She wasn't pregnant, only fat.

Jay turned off the lamp and he opened all the windows in the bedroom, letting in what ever breeze blew by. No fans, no AC. It was august and the old house inside was hot. He thought they'd be cooler asleep outside by the fire. It wouldn't have been their first fireside night of sleep. In fact the addition would be cooler to sleep in as heat rose and it was trapped in the second floor of the house, till Jay let it out. He opened all the windows and doors, which also let the old house smell filter out. But when he did that, the smell of the farm filtered in plus that of the dead which was even worse. Combined with that heat, he was just done with the whole environment altogether. It was offensive and depending on which way the wind blew, overwhelming. He knew it would take a few days for his nose to adjust to the once familiar odors. Eventually, he wouldn't notice them at all. If Julia noticed, she said nothing at all. It came with the territory.

Jay was first to lay down, stripped to his shorts. She wanted to be the first to lay down. She wanted him to make the choice of their sleeping arrangement. Would they sleep together or apart or-

"You alright?" He asked, kicking the sheet off him and away from his feet.

"Yes." She answered, looking back and forth between him and the bed behind her. "Jay, are we sleeping together or-"

"You let me come up here." He said.

She laid down next to him. The lack of connection meant she couldn't read him, tell what he really wanted. He felt the same. She and Jay were alone, they weren't used to being alone at the farmhouse, they never had been and no clear roles had been defined yet. No one took control yet. Separate yet together. Both wanted the same thing only they went about it differently.

Julia lay with her ass pressed back against him. Her pale skin soft on his chest. "Wanna try and have sex, Jules?" He asked after fifteen minutes of her heat radiating on him. When she didn't reply, he peeked over her shoulder. He saw she was asleep. "I'll take that as a no, then." He sighed, tucking his arm around her waist and he held her small body against his.

Julia woke up when the sun bothered her. "Curtains." She said to herself. She opened her eyes and realized where she lay. Jay wasn't next to her anymore. She heard her stomach growling at her as she rose from bed and peered outside across the land and tried spotting him. It was like where's Waldo out there. Much bigger than she remembered, but then again she never had a view like this. Having lived in the addition for so long, she only saw the view from ground level. The room she shared with the babies, her focus wasn't on the outside. But from Tavin and Kelly's room, she had a full expansive view from the window.

"What the fuck are we gonna do with all this food?" She asked. She had to find her books. She had some and she had to find Luz's books with the instructions for the canning and preserving. How much would she and Jay need for the winter? She had no idea. All she did was pick it and bring it to her. What she did afterward was a mystery. It was the only job she never had any interest in at all whatsoever. She felt rather strongly that if she planted it, grew it, tended to it and harvested it, then dammit she shouldn't have to cook it too.

Bread...Julia thought. How the fuck do you make bread? Corn. Corn meal. Grind up the corn and...shit...how do I do that? We're gonna starve.

Julia rummaged around the farmhouse a bit and found the sanitary items she and the girls had stashed away. They were kept in the storage room by the addition door. They would reach in and grab what they needed on the way to the...Eww...Julia moaned. One thing she never did miss about the farmhouse. As she stood on the steps she stared down the outhouse. She hated having her period there. Dreaded getting it and then...she set off down the steps and Jay glared at her.

"Put some fucking clothes on." He yelled at her.

Still in her underwear and her cami. She pointed to the outhouse, "I'm going-"

"I don't give a fuck where you're going." He led the horses to the pasture, releasing them to run.

"It's just us, Jayson." She looked around them, the structures, the entire set up was rather secluded and away from the view of the road. Us and the chickens, she thought, and zombies on the fence in the distance.

"Don't question me." He said sternly.

Oh, I like that..."Or else?" She smiled, thinking of all the possibilities of that question..."Sorry, yes, Jay." She replied quickly.

"Something to be said for modesty, Julia." He called after her.

"Yes, Jay." She answered. She pulled a pair of shorts from her drawer and held them up. She wouldn't begin to fit. She went next door to Kelly's room and got a pair of hers and they were tight. She kept rooting till she found a pair of stretchy ones, which were still too tight, but weren't as constrictive as the button ups. She went back outside. "I am fat, Jayson."

"For you, maybe. You'll lose it. It's only been a week." He gave her a once over. "Better, I guess." He commented. "There were plenty of women in there. Find something that fits."

"Yes, Jayson." She nodded. "Now or can I pee first?"

"Go." He said, waving her toward the outhouse.

"Hey, would you like to make some rules for me?" She asked, gauging his reaction to the question. Rules...rules of his own. Rules...she'd need to obey them...

"You trying to pick a fight with me?"

"No. I didn't mean it like it sounded. Maybe if you tell me what you expect, then I would know."

"And you? You gonna tell me what you expect, too?"

"No, Jay. I won't."

"It's common sense you don't come out in your drawers, Jules. Think."

"Think for me." She replied, then she walked away.

"You should think about fixing us something to eat."

Julia thought that was a great idea, considering they hadn't eaten yet and she wanted to get into Luz's kitchen and make it her own. She needed instructions. She had notebooks everywhere and she demanded that everyone who was in a position of leadership have a notebook corresponding to the jobs they did. She doubted it would be easy, but she would make this work. It would all work. She needed time.

In the fridge there was half a left over and cooked chicken, which she grabbed and she heated outside over a small fire on a grate. She boiled water over that grate and she made corn. Delicious sweet corn.

"You up for some exercise?" He asked.

"If you ask, I will say no."

"The fence."

"I'll do the fence, yes. I need the practice."

"It'll take most of the day, it's been a week."

"That's fine."

"We can't be out there every couple hours, Julia. We don't have the hands for that."

"A couple times a day though." She said, setting a plate in front of him and then a bottle of milk. She sat beside him with her plate and she held up her bottle of milk. They clinked the glasses together and they ate together while Julia flipped through Luz's recipe book and her notebook. She held it up in front of him, pointing at the page. "Bread."

"Good luck with that. You learned how to cook, but you're no chef." He criticized her. Julia bit her tongue. "I mean from scratch cooking, Julia. You make good food at home."

"I'll figure it out. I'm going to try. It takes time." She said, trying to sound positive. "It took how long for me to figure out regular food."

"You experimented on us." He laughed. "Your stuffed peppers were actually good the third time."

"I have plenty of peppers." She said in a whisper. "I am going to have to figure out how to preserve this and can it." Jay had this look on his face that didn't have much faith in her.

"We gonna starve." He smiled.

"Don't think I haven't thought the same thing. I gotta learn fast. It'll rot out there. Jay, how are we gonna do this alone?"

"We will. On a smaller scale. You won't need all that."

"And the seeds. I gotta save the seeds."

Julia had a million things churning through her brain at that time. She was used to creating and handing out orders. She pitched in and she helped, but it took a team. A team that she didn't have. She never realized the magnitude of hands it took to make it all work and run smoothly. As one season ended, she had to prepare for the next. She knew that. She preached that to masses of people in the future. Prepare, prepare, prepare. She begged and pleaded and preached that mantra to so many people. It was a year round production, no days off. As each season passed there were different responsibilities.

"Julia, focus on the dead. That's our plan for today. I need two hands to pile those fuckers up." He reminded her. "We need a schedule of what we do and when. Plan this shit. Where's your damn books?"

"It's already written." She pointed to the addition. "I was reading them and you got mad at me for it."

"I was scared you'd get lost in those books and you wouldn't wanna leave." He confessed. "Julia, I saw you going there. I was prepared to give you your day or two or three, but I didn't want you getting your head wrapped around something we could not do."

"Why didn't you just tell me that? I took it to a whole new level."

"That was what I was trying to avoid, Jules."

"Well, thanks for jumping with me. You didn't have to do that."

"You spent a week telling me you didn't want to be alone and then-"

"I don't want you to be somewhere you do not want to be."

"You wanted me with you. Am I reading you wrong?"

"No. You're not. I like your company."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Julia, I never wanted to leave you in the first place."

"I know."

"Ever, Julia. Anytime we split, it was you. I never wanted to leave you. I woulda stayed through it all. I think I kinda have. That's all I'm saying."

"I know this."

"Then what is the problem? Tell me."

"There is no problem. Not from you. It's me. I'm the problem and every once in awhile it gets too much and I don't wanna hurt you anymore, so I break it off with you."

"It is all the same. You are still there. Everywhere I ever went, you stuck around even though you never stuck with me. It hurts more, not less."

"Can we fix this?" She asked. "Seriously. We can play house and we can fuck all over it and we can survive and take care of each other, but if we don't fix the problem, then what's the fucking point? Is it just fun or are we going to work on it?"

"Can't it be both?" He asked. "The problem is simple and it can be fixed, Julia. It's the same problem we have always had and it's been there from the beginning. It's not my problem to fix. It's yours. If I'm with you then your problem becomes my problem."

"What's the problem?"

"You said it yourself. You just told me."

"It's me."

"Are we gonna be honest or not?"

"Yes. I want that."

"Even if it hurts? And I don't want you freaking the fuck out on me."

"Yes, Jay."

"You fuck other people. You always have. It started with Tavin and it evolved from there. Stop that fucking shit. That's the problem, my only problem with you."

"Everything I have done and that's the only problem?"

"I understand the rest. That's the only thing I don't understand."

"I don't either, Jay. If I had a good reason that I could put into words, then I would say it."

"Since we're alone," He said, looking around to verify that. "You told me my dick is small."

"Oh, fuck. I did not. Jay, I am happy with that. I always have been. I never complained about our sex."

"5 deep. Of all things to say to me in front of everyone. It was awful. I felt so...exposed."

"I was so mad, Jayson. If there's anything I could do to take that remark back I would. I am sorry. And it's not like we all haven't seen it. Geeze,"

"I would never criticize your body like that."

"Has anyone ever complained?"

"No. But it was like you were teasing me about it and you always liked it, or at least you sounded like it. Were you faking all that? It's been years. You never said anything."

"Because I never had a problem with your size. It fits and it feels fine."

"Fine."

"Is that why you were being mean to me? Cause I said that?"

"Yes."

"You picked all those fights with me cause I said that?"

"Yes."

"Jayson, really. I have no tits and no ass to speak of. I am literally flat as a board. Now, I'm fat on top of it. I look like a fucking boy."

"You do not look like a boy. And you are not fat."

"But Jay, you came back at me just the same way. I ain't complaining."

"I did not. When?"

"You were telling me about Stef, Jay. You made a point of doing that. She's prettier definitely. Her ass is amazing and so are her boobs. I checked her out. Bomb pussy, Jay. When did you ever describe my pussy like that? It was the best pussy you ever fucking had."

"I never said that."

"Yeah, you did. You said a lot of things when you drank my vodka last week." She informed him. "You went there last night by the fire." She told him.

"Oh, like I am the best sex you ever had?"

"It's fine that we have had other people."

"Answer me."

"You are good sex."

"But there's better sex."

"But I love you, though."

"But there is better sex, Julia."

"Tavin." She answered.

"A simple yes would have sufficed, but was that so hard to say?"

"There's all different kinds of sex, Jay."

"I have learned that. At least you didn't say Chess."

"No. That's something else entirely. Sometimes it's terribly uncomfortable. You don't understand."

"Then why do it?"

"You don't understand. I had to."

"You didn't do anything you didn't wanna do."

"It wasn't about choice or love. You don't understand."

"Explain it to me."

Julia stood up and cleared the dishes quietly.

"Julia, we have to talk about this stuff if we're gonna-"

"Jay, you don't wanna know. What I told you only skims the surface."

"He hasn't done anything to you."

"Yes, he has. Maybe not this decade, but I lived it and I liked it. That was the problem. I liked it."

"The owner thing?"

"Yes. It worked. All that boundary stuff I explained to you, it worked for me. The other Julia was not a fan, but I was."

"Well, how do I transfer the title into my name?"

"Jay, it's not a joke."

"I'm not joking."

"I'm not sure you could. Not everyone is made for it."

"How?"

"It's not something we can go to the library for." She replied, drying her hands on a towel. "As the submissive one, I cannot sit here and tell you, the dominant one, step by step instructions on how to accomplish that."

"How?"

"Jay, I am the dominant one in this relationship."

"You aren't beating my ass." He shook his head and he approached her, leaning against the sink.

"It's not like that. But could you beat mine?"

"No. I won't."

"You have slapped my ass before."

"That's different."

"Is it?"

He raised an eye brow, thinking about that. "I don't know. Is it?"

Julia left him there, thinking as she went to find clothes that fit. They had an active afternoon ahead of them on the fence and she needed to cover herself. Ana and the twins clothes. The twins had clothes that fit. That thick Latina rump of Care's was not exactly a size 1, so Julia squeezed into a pair of her pants and felt lumpy and as out of shape as Jay had said.

Her morning on the fence then over the fence was physically challenging. Jay was right, she was out of shape. She felt she slowed him down. He had more kills than she had, then she climbed the fence, over the grimy spikes and struggled lifting the dead and dragging them off to the mark. She fell behind and she couldn't keep up. The task took twice as long as it should have. He didn't say a word and he was patient, but he was visibly frustrated. She became physically ill when he started the burn. Though the burn was necessary, she never hung around for the burn. She rarely witnessed it herself. Julia still held the connection between the dead and their living souls. It was agonizing for her.

"They're dead." Jay made it sound so simple. Human carcasses on a waist high pile blazing in front of her and she wasn't supposed to get emotional. She thought of the people they'd lost to this virus and she thought of those she'd had to put down. People were meant to be buried and treated respectfully. A mass burn out wasn't respectful and humane, but it was necessary. As the smoke rose to the sky, Jay likened it to the soul rising to the heavens. A release, a sending off of the human spirit to whatever peace they believed in. He felt that was what they deserved.

"It's gross."

"That it is." On the most basic of levels, he had to agree with that. He'd spent so much time at the mark he'd had no other choice but to sit and watch and make some sense of it all. He thought he had done that. It wouldn't be his preferred choice in the end, but it made sense that he could one day end up on someone's burn pile. If this was his only option for peace, then he was all for it. Then Julia remembered what she had read, what she had done to Jayson when he was murdered, having burned him in a similar fashion. It made sense to her too.

Jay helped her over the spikes and then she made it over the fence into the field. They walked together quietly back to the showers to wash off all the muck despite the fact that their day was far from over. His day would be a little more strenuous than hers. He had a mental list of things he had to do and he wanted to do a complete perimeter check and inspect the fence.

"I need a notebook."

She found this an odd statement coming from him because he'd always refused to document his day and his job description. He used to argue with her. -It isn't hard to walk horses from a stall to a field. What kind of instruction do you need for that?  -It doesn't take a genius to collect eggs. -Anything I do is physical and it doesn't require instruction. It requires strength or common sense, Julia. -This isn't rocket science, Julia. -Leave me alone with that shit, Julia.

"I keep thinking of what the others did and I want to write it down. The fence, I might need to repair it in places. When I come back with the tools I wanna remember where." He called through the shower stall to her.

"Ok."

"I gotta come up with my own way of doing things. Until I get it down, I want a list."

"Ok. I'll get you one."

He had a list for her too. Jay wanted her to go through the house and see if they needed anything. He didn't want to make a lot of runs anywhere. He doubted there was much left on the outside of the fence that would benefit them, but they should come up with a list if they wanted to make a run. He also wanted to close off the addition. Inside the house and lock it up outside of the house, remove the belongings they needed or wanted to use and then use it for storage or just leave it closed up. It was one less room to heat during the winter. There was a house full of items and material things that either didn't belong to them or wouldn't benefit them in any way. He wanted it packed up and moved to the addition where it wouldn't be in their way.

"Since we're staying, we need to make it comfortable for us. Make it ours."

"I'll take care of it." She replied.

They wrapped in towels and head inside to find a change of clothes. He also mentioned laundry, which was beginning to pile up.

Laundry..."I'll take care of it."

She moved through the addition with Jay behind her. He stopped her and held her back. "You see that?" He asked. Julia looked through the hall into the house. He'd never noticed before. The swift movement of the shadow that crossed the living room directly in front of them and passed onto the stairs.

"Yes." She answered, stepping forward.

"Person?"

"Abraham." She answered. "He won't bother you, if you don't bother him." She stepped forward again. "I told you, Jayson. There's plenty of memories and ghosts here."

"Who?"

"He owns the place. We do right by it, he's pleased. It's his house." She pulled her shoulders from his grip and moved through the addition to the steps.

"Can you make him go somewhere like you did with my grandmother in the Mauz?"

"He isn't ready. I'm surprised you saw him."

Jay followed her to the stairs and watched as she went up.  "How long's he been here?"

"Since we built the addition. When we knocked out the wall." She answered, turning at the top of the stairs.

"He up there with you?"

"He's down there with you." She turned into the bedroom.

Old farmhouses, built as far back as theirs sometimes came with residual spirit energy. She hadn't seen him their last trip as she hadn't grown into her abilities. As they grew, spirits sometimes made themselves known and she chose to ignore them or let a connection to someone fade, which was a sure fire way of extinguishing the spirit attraction to her. The longer they stayed and as Jess's energy faded, so would Abe. Abe staked his ground long before she did. He built the house, he farmed the land. His energy stained through the entire property...blood, sweat and tears.

Jay felt the hairs on his arms rise. The air around him in the living room cooled considerably, chilling him and he sprinted up the steps and turned around. No one was there.

"Tell him you can live together in peace or something." She sighed, pulling on one of Care's tees over her head. "He won't hurt you. He revealed himself for a reason."

"You're still the man of the house, Abe. I won't bother you." Jay said in disbelief as he spoke to thin air.  He looked in the bedroom. "Are there more?"

"Sometimes they wander through." She motioned around her, flowing her arms through the air.

Julia busied herself throughout the afternoon with chores. She went through the upstairs bedrooms and piled up clothes that may fit Jay and herself. Those that would not fit or they would not use, she carried down to the addition. She tagged certain objects she wanted moved upstairs. 

Jay had more questions about Abe and why he stayed on the first floor of the house and never went up. Julia explained that originally their farmhouse was a one story dwelling. He and Mrs. Abe never went upstairs because when they originally built the structure, there was no upstairs. The room in which they stood with the fireplace was their bedroom. Later, long after they passed and as time passed the upstairs was added on and then when they moved in they broke through the wall of their chamber and built an addition. Each period of construction disturbed the original energy held inside the four walls. When the wall was knocked down, it released into the environment.

"I see. We can do what him and Mrs. Abe did." He responded. "We remake the living room the bedroom. Instead of heating the entire house, we could seal it off and it would stay toastier in here, less work. Not like we need anything upstairs anyway."

"You'd like to bring the bed down?"

"Whichever one." He shrugged. "Do we really need all this space for two bodies?"

"What if we have visitors?"

"Who's visiting?"

"I don't know, like what if we add on to us?"

"Like take people in? You would be cool with that? Strangers?"

"Not men." She shook her head. "Grown men can care for themselves, but women or kids...you never know."

"We'll table that."

"Table it? We are the table."

"We'll talk about it later, then. Can we settle in before we start taking in strays?"

"Yes, Jay. I got a lot done already." She looked at him, her stomach growling. "What's for dinner?"

"You tell me. You're the cook."

"McDonald's." She smiled.

"We have a ton of rabbits. I'll skin one."

"Yummy." She smiled.

"You can watch and learn."

"No." She was adamant about that. She had never watched them kill and skin and break down an animal and she was against the idea now. "No." She was firm.

"You going vegetarian if I die?"

"I'll raise chicks. I have that on the agenda for tomorrow."

"You make no sense. You'll kill and eat a bird, but not a rabbit or a deer. God forbid we catch a raccoon or possum."

"No."

"I think you should at least know the process. I set the traps."

"No."

"Yes." He raised his voice. He had decided. He had to fetch a rabbit from the hutch. "Gimme about ten minutes and I will meet you by the barn."

The boys had a way to kill rabbits and skin them that they developed. The metal V was screwed horizontal onto the barn wall, wide at the end and narrowed against the wood. Jay slid the rabbit's head into the metal V and slid it to the end where it was taut against the wall. He yanked down and broke its neck, leaving it hanging on the metal. Julia left out a scream at the spine was severed and the bones broke apart. She hadn't expected that when he slid it in the bracket. He slid it back along the V and strung it upside down then made several cuts in the animal's fur before he started peeling the skin off like a glove slid off the human hand. She squealed again uncomfortable with this process of his. When he slit the thing open and let the blood drain into a bucket, she nearly freaked out. "No. No." She started crying.

"What is wrong?"

"It's an animal." She cried.

"So is a freaking chicken."

"A chicken is a bird though." She cried. "How would we begin to get a raccoon in that thing?"

"We wouldn't. This is for the rabbits. Babe, I 'd shoot the raccoon."

"How can you do that like it's no big deal?"

"I usually don't kill them. My brother does. I shoot the deer."

"Eww..."

"You did run this place, right? I mean you were the one in charge? The leader? Everyone, including you, seems to agree on this."

"Yes."

"You planned and you did your job out there." He pointed to the field. "This was our job. Trust me, this is easy compared to that. I hated every second of that."

"Can you write this down for me?"

"No. You can learn hands on. Like I fucking did." He was genuinely annoyed with her and her reaction. "Julia, all I'm saying is you watch and learn. How many times have you said that?"

"I learned how to do all this from reading. Researching."

"What if you-I won't argue. This is how we do things now." He told her as he unclipped the wood slat and unhooked it from the wall. Beneath he slid out a piece of wood and he positioned it beneath the tray against the wall so he had a work station. He went to gutting and dicing this animal till it was ready to be cooked. All the contents that they didn't use went in the bucket. He saved the fur skin. He admitted to having quite a pile of these furs inside the barn. He  suggested she find a book at that library that held instructions to make a rug or maybe some cool boots.

"A rug?" She repeated. "I'm a fucking weaver now? Some kinda seamstress?"

"Ugh, I wanna do it. They're my furs. I figured it might be a hobby or something? You see a Xbox sitting around here? Can I play candy crush here? Can I watch TV here or watch Netflix? Can I go to the gym or the movies?"

She started crying again. "I'm sorry, Jay. I'm sorry I made you mad."

"You didn't." He replied quickly, handing her a slate with the meat on it. He washed off his wood work station and he dumped the remains of this dead animal in her field. She didn't dare complain about that, but it pissed her off nonetheless. He walked back with her to the house and as they passed the field, he grabbed them some corn and some beans in a bucket. He pulled some lettuce and tomatoes and yanked an onion from the ground, which he added to the bucket.

He left her and head back outside for firewood, which he had stacked by the door. He brought it inside and he lit the fire to cook. He noticed she was still crying and he let her cry. He figured she had a lot more to cry about than a rabbit's death and his temper tantrum. "It takes you awhile to adjust coming home. It takes me awhile to adjust coming here." She prepared the food while he talked. She hung a couple pots of water to boil, then seasoned the meat. She diced them up a small tossed salad. "I mean think about the reasons we wound up here in the first place. It's all back. It's all right in the front of my mind again." She put all the waste in the compost bucket and then set out glasses. He went and fetched them milk from the fridge, pouring their glasses full. He handed off an empty milk bottle. "I know it's over. I know that you and everyone else forgave me for what I did. Or he did, but I am still responsible for it. And it's all in the front of my mind. Since we walked in the gate." He set the corn in the water when she finished peeling it and then the string beans in the other pot when she finished chopping the ends off them. She liked hers all cut up in little pieces and Jay preferred the full string bean. He thought about that every time she made string beans. "You always say you got your feet in two worlds and I completely understand that now. When you're looking at me like I am crazy and I should just fall back into the routine, I think about how that's what we all did to you." He walked around the block in the center of the kitchen and he kissed her forehead. "You can't say I don't understand now."

"Weed, Jayson." Because he needed to calm the fuck down and she needed to stop crying.

"Yeah, I'll get some."

"I'd like a cigarette."

"Quit." He shrugged as he walked out the door. He brought them weed back as she made dinner. They shared like they had the night before. They were so heavenly stoned. "I don't know anything about tobacco or that still of his. Chess did that. Weed, I only know about weed."

"Why?"

"I don't smoke and I don't drink, so I didn't care."

"Awe, fuck, Jay. Neither do I."

"That still just looks complicated. You won't be drinking either. Unless you got a stash."

"No. I took the bottle home. You drank it. I haven't had a drink since Risk."

"What's Risk?"

"It's a bad ass fucking bar. There's drugs and alcohol and strippers and food and music and card games and fights. You can do anything you want at your own risk. Hence the name. Jay, it's so fun."

"I doubt it's open."

"It's a party. A big, dirty, common party."

"When we go out, we'll ride by Risk." He said. "We'll barter that tobacco for lap dances."

"Oh, you would do that with me? Jay, it would be so fun." He was kidding. She was serious. "Jody's brothers work there."

"Jules, I have been out there and there's nothing."

"Why can't there be anything?"

"Huh?"

"These Zoms...we could get rid of them, especially during the winter."

"Why the winter?"

"I learned they freeze." She answered. "Jay, we didn't know. We were young and dumb and scared."

"They freeze?" He asked.

"It's gotta be real damn cold. Like the snow storm on Green Street." He glared at her at first, then shook his head in disbelief. "Yes, Jay. They were frozen in place. We coulda walked out around them and just killed each one of them. No plan. No fire. No risking lives."

"You're fucking kidding me."

"No fence jumping, no bullets flying, and no fires in a garage parking lot. I never would have lost that awesome pair of Nike's either."

"You are fucking kidding me right?"

"No, but it was a learning experience that I will use again in the future, so..."

"They freeze."

"I mean feet of snow. But it also is more difficult for us to maneuver in the elements as well. Plus we also could freeze or get frost bite or-"

"I wanna test this theory."

"How we getting out? You got a plow?"

"We can have one. Yeah."

"Lots of them. Plus the people that are left over. Everyone's armed to the teeth, those who survive."

"Julia, how long did it take to clear the state, the sector."

"I don't know. I wasn't there. A year or so."

"We left in the fall or winter or what?"

"Babe, would you like to be the sector leader?" She mused, smiling at him. "Maybe you come up with your best ideas stoned, Keller."

"We got a year. We could put that plan on paper, Morgan." He teased her.

"Come up with the whole entire thing and then when we jump back-"

"We wait a few months and we get to work."

"Is this phase two? The next step in the fortress plan."

"All so Chess can run that shit." He sighed.

"No one said he had to. This shit's all unwritten, Jay. No one said Jayson Keller has to die in Virginia."

"I really don't like the idea of dying in Virginia. I'd like for you to drive me nuts longer than age 23."

"I think that if we drop this idea on the internet on those underground sites, Jay, then we could form an underground militia. We could form alliances ahead of the first nights and we would be able to band together and fight back. Each militia in each and every state. All it takes is a few people with the plan, leaders will gather followers."

"If enough people know. If enough people form together, Julia we could save a lot of people. We could save ourselves a lot of grief. Virginia could clear itself and so can every other state. Even Jersey."

"I need a lap top and the internet. Not a fucking notebook." Julia complained. "We need a notebook now though. We need to write this down."

"We need a traveler too. Someone who can do this for us, because we can't."

"Jay, I need to make a run." She said, placing the food on their plates.

"Well, if you're making a run, it'll be quick and you'll drop off a list. It won't be a visit."

"We need money though. For most of this shit. Whatever is on our list, cool. But the money for the stuff on the list."

"You got a debit card-"

"That no one can use. It'll be tracked to me. I doubt the money-Chess has money."

"How much?"

"A fuck ton." She answered, hustling to the addition for her notebook. "He said he'd help us."

"He said he'd help you."

"Well, Napoleon loves us. He'll do it."

"The first thing he needs to do is draw up divorce papers, Julia." Jay poked his finger on the notebook paper. "That's what I want."

Julia wrote down divorce. They then sat and created a list of things they wanted jammed into a bag. 

"Kool Aid." Jay pointed at the paper. 

"Cigarettes." Julia wrote. 

"Rolling papers." He said. 

Julia wrote across a blank line-instructions-what do I do with this tobacco crop?

"Vodka." Jay nodded toward the book. "Not a gallon of it, but some."

"My knife from my bag." She said.

"I would like mine as well." Jay agreed.

Sticky notes, index cards, paper maps of Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia. Highlighters, pens-Julia wanted a specific brand- as well as pencils and sharpeners and tacks.

-Pictures of our family.

-Open up an iTunes account-music, videos and TV shows to download.

-Give Alex enough cash for a year's worth of tampons. One box a month x 12 months.

-Give Alex enough money for a year's worth of toilet paper. Figure that out.

"Oodles of noodles, all varieties." Jay pointed again at the paper.

"Oodles of noodles, Jayson? For real."

"Yes. Oodles of noodles and Kool aid."

The list was long and ended with two brand new iPads.

We got phase two in the works.

Send or deliver to Alexander. Y'all have a week.

Thanks and love, J and J

"Well, Jayson. Is that it?"

"I think so." He answered. "You going now?"

"I think. Is that ok?"

"Condoms, Julia?" He asked.

"No. What for?" She grinned, then she disappeared.

"What for?" He asked thin air. "What for? She just asked me what for." He mumbled.

He got up from the table and rather than worrying about her till she returned, he looked in the living room and imagined the bed in there against the wall. Her desk in the corner. Sticky notes and maps tacked to the adjacent wall. A fire in the fire place. Hopefully a fur rug made of rabbit skins from the barn. "Abe, it's just you and me, man." He said, standing by the door. He looked outside and he saw the silhouette of the apple tree. "You too, Care." He smiled. He remembered why they were there in the first place.

Julia slid through time into Maryland. The first item on the list would not please Mr Morgan. He was alone in the apartment watching ESPN. He saw her appear and when she went to speak he put his finger up to his lips and he shook his head. Was he bugged? She wondered. He sure thought so as he got up. He reached for her then took her to his door. He left it unlocked as they took the steps up to the top floor and he propped the door to the roof once they went outside.

"You ok?" He whispered.

"Yes, we're fine." She answered, putting her arms around him. "I need your help. I have a list."

"Ok."

"Before I give you the list I need to tell you that what we have can't be undone. Our bond, that marriage that we entered into cannot ever be undone."

"I know that."

"You need to wait your turn." She said, crying onto his shoulder. "I love you, but I love him. I want to make this work with him. I have been given a year by this universe, Chess, to make everything right. I want to make this right. I have always wanted that."

"Where's our ring?"

"I have it. It's safe. That is our marriage, Chess. That is us."

"You're sure." He said, trying to pull away from her.

"No. I'm not sure about anything. I can't say that. It's what we both want. It might be because of Caroline. It might be that place. It might be the right time or we could wind up trying to kill each other cause that has happened before too."

"We love each other."

"We love differently." She said. She separated and handed him the list.

"Fuck." He said, reading the first item on the list.

"He wants that. He wants that from me and he wants that from you. He's making it clear."

"Fuck. Julia, I would give this up. Everything."

"It's not time. It's the right thing to do."

"You're hormonal and you just lost the baby. I won't argue with you, but think about it."

"It's not for me. It's for him. We both fucked that kid over."

"Fuck." He said again.

"Macy."

"I'm gonna have to take so much shit from her. You know what I had to say to her?"

"Well, take shit. Or better yet, completely move on."

He read over the list. "A years worth of tampons. How much do tampons cost? Kool aid? Oodles of-" He laughed. "That's Jayson."

"It is. His diet, not mine."

"iPads? What the hell are they for? You got Wi-Fi?" He laughed.

"I got a fucking plan for our boredom. Well, Jay does. We're gonna plan out phase two. Sector by sector, Chess. And I am gonna keep that kid alive if it kills me."

"Maybe that would happen if he didn't jump in front of bullets for your ass."

"Like you wouldn't." She smiled, touching his face. "Gonna be a long year, Chess."

"Jules, this is fucked up."

"Well, I am fucked up. You know that."

"Fine, tell him I will divorce you. And I am paying alimony evidently." He held up the list. "Remember who owns that ass, woman." 

Kelly wasn't pleased with the love of her life. She swore as she spent two weeks away from him that she wasn't going back. She wasn't getting involved with him anymore. She wouldn't fall for the usual rhetoric he gave her about love and that they were meant to be. She said to herself she would play this casual and cool. She would let the medicine work and she would be a good mom for her son, which was the only goal she had. She would take her time and she would work on herself and go to school. She would make decent grades, better herself and drag herself out of her misery. The postpartum had only been the half of it. Her depression started long before the baby, before he had run off with the love of his life, Julia. He had changed toward her as soon as he wasn't chasing her around a dream. When it became real, he pulled away. He betrayed her trust in more ways than one and what only made it worse was he didn't care. He put it out there. She felt stupid for ever falling for him in the first place, then she got pregnant and hoped with all her heart he would be there, which he was. He was there in body, but not in spirit. He was there for her and he took care of her as they waited for Tarin. Once Tarin was born, he was there 100% for him and he welcomed that baby into his arms, his family and she still felt excluded.

Julia's pregnancy was more important, she believed. Though it was a delusion. Her pregnancy had problems and he did what he would do for Kelly herself, make sure she was ok.

Kelly asked him if Julia's baby was his and he said no. Julia denied that and Jay was Caroline's dad. All believed that and it was a fact. Kelly believed that he never stopped sleeping with or loving Julia. Julia denied it. She had her own problems and Tav would only be one more. But Kelly could sense her. She left evidence all over the bed she shared with Tavin. She left energy, which meant that they'd done more that have sex in that bed, rather they had a connection. If only once or ten times, it didn't matter. It had happened.

The separation from Tarin was the hardest part. Tavin had told her once and only once that Tarin would not leave that house with her until he felt sure his son would be safe with her. She would not be alone with him. The most difficult part of that was her parents agreed. She had some negative thoughts. She surely didn't deny that. She doubted she'd ever have acted on them. She would have hurt herself before her son. She'd restrained herself at her most tired and most weak moment and she regretted ever having said anything. She could have gone with the grand old excuse that she wanted to die herself. Now no one trusted her and they all stared and waited.

"Kell, come up with me. Stay the night, baby." His voice was low and soft in her ear as he placed his mouth on her neck, placing soft kisses over her skin behind her ear and down over her shoulder. His breath warm and heavy on her flesh gave her goose bumps. His fingertips ever so light on her arms, stirring up the butterflies.

"I wanna break up." She said it. The words had escaped her mouth so fast and without hesitation that she wasn't sure he heard her. She had to say it or she'd never say it at all. There would never be a right time. She wanted to be honest with him, tell him before anything happened, before she broke the trust he had in her. There was a time he took this relationship seriously, took her seriously.

"No, Kell." He shook his head, hands moving over her arms to he shoulders, then down again over her back.

"This is out of control, Tavin. It has been for a long time."

"I see." He said as he let his arms fall at his sides. "What have you done, Kelly?"

"Nothing."

"If you want to take time to work on you, then that's fine."

"No, you don't understand. I don't want this at all anymore. You don't either. You haven't wanted this in a long time. There's always someone or something else that matters more."

"I completely upended my whole life for you."

"I never asked you for anything."

"I won't do this. You wanna go then you-" He paused. There was that word. Go, it hung in the air. It lingered there and in his brain. Fucking, Julia...he sighed. She created this little monster standing before him being defiant, telling him what she wanted, asking to be let go. She molded this girl, a pliable and sweet and giving girl, to fit with him. She talked this girl into this years ago...how? "No. Not yet." He smirked. "You may leave here. You may go home. But you may not leave me."

"But I think-"

"Who gave you permission to think?"

"Oh, excuse me?"

He walked away from her and he went into the kitchen. He opened the cabinet above the microwave and he saw it right where he'd left it. He didn't get the meaning of it when Julia brought it home from the farmhouse. He stood at the counter and he threw it at her. She made a fumbling catch, but she caught it. "What is this? What's it mean?"

She laughed. "It's a bottle of ink, Tavin."

He needed to talk to someone who lived in that damn farmhouse. He never did. Kelly never did. He had a sinking feeling that Julia would say his girl needed to learn her place. Remind her...He could hear Julia's voice in his head. This whole mess originated in a farmhouse with Mrs. Morgan. He needed a conversation with the only one that was left who'd lived there and knew them before they knew each other, Chess Morgan. Napoleon carried a ring around in his pocket like a fool for his redheaded wife. They originated there. The only relationship that didn't originate there was that of Jay and Julia.

He went back to the same cabinet and pulled out the piece of paper she'd brought home with that bottle of ink. He held it up. "You made this?"

"No." She answered. She crossed the room to the counter. She took it from him. "It hung above our bed. Not my work."

"It's not your handwriting. It's mine." He took the bottle of ink from her and he set it on the paper. "Same ink?"

"I don't know."

As her fingers traced the heart shape on the paper, he reached for it to take the paper away and the ink bottle from her to put it back. That's when he noticed the K on his hand. The K above his thumb. K...Keller...Kelly Keller.

"It's neat ink, though. The kind you dip a pen inside to write."

He reached for the cell on the counter, but it was an old one. It was definitely his cell and it was plugged into Julia's lap top. The screen from the lap top flicked on when the mouse moved and the cell icon popped up on the screen. Charge, download and sync pictures, several options for what he could do with the phone.

The lap top screen caught Kelly's attention. "Why you got two phones, Tavin?" Tavin's reaction to that cell was suspicious to her. She thought he was hiding something. That wasn't his cell. His cell was tucked in his pocket. She'd seen him place it there after he talked to Alex when he called from Julia, too's place.

"I don't. This is an old phone." He answered.

Kelly snatched it from his hand and she started going through it. Texts, really old ones. Pictures. She'd seen all these pictures before. She'd lived through this. "Tavin, you know what's on this phone?" She asked as she swiped through the album.

"She stole my phone. It's been at that farmhouse for a long time."

"The memorials, Tavin." She said, showing him the album as she swiped through. Candles. Students and families as they gathered in a school field with candles. Police tape, pictures of Julia's room in her basement after the shooting, blood stains clearly visible on the floor and furniture in that room. Julia in a coma in a hospital bed. As she swiped, the memories came back. Tarin in a play pen at the farmhouse. Her and him sitting on their bed in the farmhouse. She had no clothes on, but she'd crossed her arms over her chest for that selfie. He'd wanted it for home where they couldn't be together. She swiped to the next picture, similar to the first of them.

"Wait, stop. Look." He said, pointing at the screen. "Kelly, the ink. It's right fucking there." He couldn't believe she didn't see it. She didn't get why the ink was important, but Julia had. He understood the message that Julia was sending. She couldn't express it in words.

"Where?" She laughed, looking for the small bottle.

"On your hand." His fingers touched the screen and spread, blowing up the area over her right thumb. "That's the ink in this bottle."

"Yeah, we didn't have rings when we got married." She laughed. "That had to do."

"Kelly." He took the phone from her. "You're not my fucking girlfriend. You're my wife."

"Well, I want a divorce." She rolled her eyes.

"We can't get one."

"Technically, we never married. We weren't there. There's no K on this hand."

"There can be. There should be."

"Oh, please. You won't take it seriously. You haven't so far. I have been the one that's been married all this time while you're out running around and-"

"Kell, please."

"What? You expect me to get all excited because you finally remembered I am your wife. I'm the mother of your child too."

"You gimme a day." He said, taking the ink off her. He stuck it in his pocket.

"A day?" She laughed.

"Yes, I need a day. Did I stutter or something? Am I not speaking English?"

"What's one more day, right?" She asked. "Fine. I'll give you your damn day."

He had a gut feeling he knew exactly what was going on here. Since he couldn't talk to Julia or his brother, he decided to go to the next best person. He took the keys from the counter.

"Um, where are you going, Tavin?" She asked.

"I told you. I need a day." He answered. "Do your job and take care of our son."

He called Sandy's house. When Ray answered, that surprised him. He hadn't gone back to college. He should have. "Ray, your brother. What's his address?"

Tavin tapped the address into the Navi and set out for a forty minute drive to Maryland.

Chess sat on his floor in the living room surrounded by stuff. He'd gone shopping with her list of demands and he had it all spread out in front of him like he was going on a damn trip somewhere. Her and her office supplies. She know how hard it is to find paper maps of states he didn't live in? Maryland was a piece of cake and even Pennsylvania, but the others had him on google and searching. He opted to go online to these different states travel and tourism sites and he had the information sent to his PO box. He had a stack of travel guides, but these guides came with maps. He knew for sure he wasn't driving to Jersey, Delaware, New York or Virginia. He flipped through the Jersey info, then settled on the brochures for Atlantic City. Grand hotels and pretty women in slinky dresses. Nice legs on the one by the pool. The travel guide for Atlantic City had him wanting to go and gamble. He tucked it in her bag, which was the only item she hadn't put on her list of demands. He had the iPads out and charging. He wasn't sure exactly what she planned on doing with them at the farmhouse. He did open up an iTunes account and he used the pre-paid card he bought and he downloaded the music she loved to listen to. Eminem first, then some Red Hot Chili Peppers and she especially loved Nirvana, Pearl Jam. Drake had always been a favorite of hers, not so much his. He spent two hours and too much money downloading music onto these iPads for her. The woman who wrote divorce in fat letters across the top of a list, a divorce she didn't want. 

"Bitch, I even bought you extra chargers." He mumbled, because he knew as well as anyone else that Apple chargers were trash. That was one area of their technology that the corporation needed to desperately improve.

As he listened to the music he downloaded for his future ex-wife, he barely heard the knocking on the door. "It's open." He yelled as he organized this bag of hers. The only items he didn't have possession of were the knives. These two and their knives. He did one better for the woman though and he tucked two brand new rifles just like Jody's with clips into the bottom of the bag. He glanced at the next item-pictures. What pictures? Which ones she hadn't specified. "It's open!" He yelled again. When the door opened, he saw Tavin standing there. The last person he expected to lay eyes on and the last person he wanted to lay eyes on. He turned down the music on the iPad and he didn't say anything. He'd called Alex and informed him of their whereabouts. He surely informed the brother, so why was he standing in his apartment?

Tavin reached into his pocket and tossed him the ink. He'd half hoped the bitch had returned his ring to him. He carried it. It belonged with him. When he saw the small black object coming his way, he caught it and he held it up to see exactly what it was. Ink.

"Thomas Jefferson." Chess laughed. The first laugh he'd had that week. At least he'd stopped crying in time for the visit. He chose to do that alone and keep his broken heart to himself. He tossed the ink back to him.

"Where did it come from?" He asked.

"The flipside." He answered. "Some house we were going through looking for supplies. The guy who turned was a pen freak."

"Where's the pen?"

"Didn't come with a pen. We got it for Julia and her notebooks, but she didn't like this 'Thomas Jefferson shit' as she called it. So you kept it thinking Kelly could draw with it." He explained the origin of the ink. "I remember the night you put the tat on her hand." Chess volunteered. "Red bit me about a week before that and it got all infected. She went and got you and we found you in there tatting her hand. You were together longer and Kell wanted a ring."

"I tatted her."

"Yeah." Chess replied. He rubbed his shoulder over that old bite mark. There was a scar where the abscess had healed. Occasionally it still ached, especially after a long day or night clearing out infections for a living. "What's with the walk down memory lane? You lonely now that our girl is in the wind?"

"I miss her, yeah. Not gonna lie. You?"

Chess chose not to dignify that question with an answer. Inside he was a flurry of emotion, anger and love and felt loss there as well. Loss of her, loss of his cousin. Anxiety, it was a dangerous world they moved to, but the world they departed was equally as dangerous now. If not more.

Tavin took a seat on the floor next to his cousin and he looked over all the crap he had spread out in various piles. He picked up the tampons. "On your period, Napoleon." He laughed.

Chess handed him the list. Tavin's eyes scanned the items. Chess pointed at the circled items, the ones that Chess didn't have access to. Their knives. Pictures of her family, their family. He held up the iPads. His finger dragged down the page and hovered over Alex's name.

"Ok, I'll make-"

Chess's finger moved over Julia's list, pointing at various letters in words. He spelled out one word in particular. B-U-G-G-E-D. Tavin nodded he understood. His eyes centered on the word divorce.

"Paperwork." Chess shrugged. "She can divorce me here, but that marriage is till death."

"Believe me, she knows." Tavin assured him. "That rule apply to mine?" He asked, dropping the paper on the floor between them.

"Yep, but it depends on what that marriage means to you. To us, we-" He paused.

"What?"

"Nothing. What do you want, Tavin?"

"I want you to finish what you were saying."

"I don't discuss what me and Jules do."

"She discussed it with me all the damn time. It's why I'm here. I need to talk to her and I can't. I need to talk to Jay and I can't, so I came to the next person in line. You were there."

"So was Hay."

"Yeah, but you know this has nothing to do with Hayley. She doesn't even like Hayley."

"We love differently, she said."

"What's different mean?"

"Beats me. It's all the same to me."

"I was thinking. It's about Kelly." He said, rolling the bottle of ink between his palms. "And me." He added. "Maybe you and her and Jay." He was guessing on those he added.

"Ok. I'm not sure what me and Julia and Jay have to do with-"

"How'd we meet?"

"We picked her up on Green Street. You know that."

"How did we get together?"

"Callie broke up with you. Julia sat the girl in your lap, which was crazy cause she was too fucking young for you."

"She didn't agree."

"She didn't care. New world. New ways. Tavin, I am not really sure what she was thinking. I was with Jess. Jules was still fucking Jay's head up at the time."

"The room." Tavin said suddenly.

"What about it?"

"Who was in it?"

"Me and Jay, Jess and Julia."

"Me and Kell?"

"One time. Why are you so interested in the room? Something you got no memory of, doesn't even matter."

"We weren't there, but it carried over to here." Tavin wasn't getting his point across. He was getting frustrated. Talking to Chess was like talking to a wall. He needed specific information, but he wasn't sure what information it was yet. "Why did she bring us in there in the first place?"

"When we were at that first house, Julia and Jess got together. I mean together-together. I was with Jess and Jay was with Julia. But Julia and Jess were something aside from all that. On their own time. You have to know what Julia and Jess were thinking to understand it."

"Tell me what they were thinking."

"It was weird. The whole thing was weird. You know that."

"No I don't. It's why I am asking."

"They were like sister wives. Julia watched that TV show and it always skeeved her out, but there, when we thought we had no future, anyone could die any day...she hooked up with Jess and that sister wife idea came to life. If one of us died, me or Jay, then we'd take care of the other girl. If both if us died, they'd take care of each other." Chess explained. "Yo, it wasn't about the sex after awhile, it was about taking care of each other, cause at the farm house, there was no room per se. That stopped and we all slept together alone. Like I fucked Jules or Jay would fuck with Jess, but it was all separate and alone."

"What's that got to do with me and Kelly?"

"Nothing. That's why I don't understand why you're asking me. You and Kell weren't included, but you two had your own thing on the side there. We knew whenever you two did checks together, you were fucking. We weren't stupid."

"So I cheated on Kell with her there too?"

"Yes. But when she got with me, she didn't sleep with anyone but me."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Seriously. It transitioned from everyone to us. She got tired of it, I think. She wasn't ready to go back to Jay, but I think she thought about it. She couldn't hook up with you full time cause of Kell and then there was me. There wasn't a lot of options in zombie world. But me and her were different. That part was true. We did and still do love each other."

"Was she mad when Kell got pregnant?"

"Yes and no. She was mad cause people were pregnant in general. She couldn't get pregnant. She was more mad about Hayley and Jay having Hannah, than you having Tarin with Kelly. Here, Julia was excited to have Tarin. I think that she was the only one for a while. I mean, I understand why and so did Jay. You had to be there. When we came back, we lost our children. We took care of them and we protected them and made that entire life for them. She got back and her and Jay...I don't know how they got past that, losing the kids and now they're doing it all over again."

"You did."

"I didn't make the kids. I felt it but not like they felt it. Jules took care of Hannah everyday after Hayley jumped. Tarin, too. Kell did a lot of the work when Julia was working, but Julia attached to the kids like they were hers. She didn't fuck around when it came to the kids. She never did. Neither did Jayson." Chess shook his head. "You know I am glad I didn't have to go and do that. I'm really not mad about that."

"She was worried you would be."

"Well, I'm not. I was worried about him. If something happened to her, Julia and I agreed we'd end each other without questioning it. I wanted to go and end her, not Care. I know Jay can handle that and he did."

Chess finished up with the bag and zipped it up tight. He unplugged and turned off the iPads, then tucked them into the side pockets.

"Was Kelly a sister wife?" Tavin asked suddenly.

"She never was, no. One night, that's all it was. I don't know why you never came back. Jess said Julia said you said she wasn't allowed back in there. This is all third person."

"I wouldn't want Kelly fucking you people. If I agreed to go in that room, it woulda been to fuck Julia."

"That's why then. We are the same people here that we are there." Chess sat on the couch and propped his feet on the packed bag. "She was tried with Kelly at the farm house. A couple times, not a lot. She wanted to bring Kelly in again, after she had Tarin. Kelly was miserable, depressed, withdrawn."

"Julia said she wasn't."

"Cause she fixed her, talked to her, got her head right. I think she fucked both of you one night, after you got shot. I'm not 100% on that though. Put you and Kelly back together and then after that, it was over. She found out about Hayley and Jay and she withdrew and isolated and got her own head right. That's how I wound up with her. She got her head right."

"Got her own head right?"

"She knows right from wrong. Sometimes she acts like it. I caught her at the right time and in the right place. We were the only people that talked to each other for awhile there. No one liked her. Not one single person from the original crew. She didn't even like herself, started hanging with Tom and Bob a lot and I knew why, but it was cool. I kept up with her and she was a tough nut to crack."

"Tom helped her with the drinking and Bob? Who's Bob?"

"An old guy she picked up at the first house. He lost his wife and he was alone. She wouldn't leave the guy alone, so he tagged along with us. She was really attached to this old man. She hung with them, cause she knew they were safe. And they wouldn't want anything from her other than conversation. Julia was sober and celibate, then for a long time, faithful. It was our best time together. That girl, man, she was my everything. The bitch." He laughed.

Tavin jumped when he heard movement in the bedroom across from them. A tall thin kid came to the doorway in a sheet. "Who you talking to?" He asked, half asleep and half awake. He looked at Tavin. "Well, hello." He smiled.

"This is Tavin, my cousin." Chess replied. "That's Ben."

"Hi, Ben." Tavin nodded.

"Another cousin. Are there more?"

"Yes." They both answered.

Ben returned to bed and left them in the living room. "Who's he?"

"I work with him. He's my roommate." Chess answered.

"He's gay." Tavin observed.

"I know that. You interested?" Chess asked.

"No. You?" Tavin answered.

"She tell you?"

"She didn't have to. To each his own or whatever." Tavin chose to ignore this. "So Kelly-"

"What exactly do you wanna know, Tav?"

"Do I own the girl?"

"Yeah. You could have just asked."

"Like you own Julia."

"Owned, Tav. Owned. I don't own her anymore. Owned women do not seek divorce."

"She'll just do what I say?"

"If you ask nice, yeah. They are very accommodating and sweet if you treat them right."

"What did we do to them?"

"Nothing. Julia and Jess set this all up. Jess, she was the only one who lost in the whole deal."

"Who's supposed to be taking care of her?"

"I guess, me." He replied. "If we're sticking to the original plan, but plans change."

Tavin rose from the floor to leave. "Where you going? You just got here."

"Home, gonna tattoo my wife." He answered.

"Take this with you." He ordered, getting off the sofa. He handed Tavin the list and he grabbed the bag. "Tell Alex and Jody I'll be up this weekend." He walked Tavin to the car, which he'd parked around the corner from the apartment. "Make sure she gets that bag. If she doesn't, she's coming after me, not you. I don't need the little zombie ninja after me."

"I'll make sure she gets it. I coulda got them all of this shit."

"Well, she didn't want you paying for it."

"Nice of her." Tavin said, placing the bag in the trunk. He closed it with a thump and he looked past Chess to the street corner where a group from the neighborhood had gathered. "Hey, Chess, that just looks fucking weird." Tavin said, eyeing those on the corner. He assumed they were homeless or high or both from their jerky and odd body movements.

"Open the trunk." Chess ordered.

Tavin hit the button on his keypad and the trunk popped up a bit. Chess opened it and he unzipped the black bag. "It looks weird cause it fucking is weird." He said calmly and under his breath. He reached through the items he bought for Julia and Jay and cursed himself for packing the rifles on the bottom. He had oodles of noodles all over the trunk of the car.

"Chess," Tavin said nervously as the group from the corner turned toward the crunching of the bags as they were removed from the bag. Chess pulled one out and handed it to him, then he retrieved the other. Tavin stood looking at the weapon as he had the day Jody brought it to him. Chess closed the trunk slowly, but he didn't latch it as the rest of the ammo was inside. "Run?" Tavin asked in a whisper.

"We do not run." Chess replied, insulted he would even suggest a retreat. He held up the small rifle. "We shoot." He answered. He saw the look on Tavin's face. "Pay attention. They're old virus." He said, as the looked toward the slower strain as it stumbled off the curb and head their direction. He in serviced Tavin on the ins and outs of this rapid fire weapon. "Aim and fire." Chess finished, aiming the weapon toward the front walker. It fired soft and quietly, the bullet ripped through its skull. Tavin gasped, shocked and uncertain about killing anything. Was he even allowed? Where had they come from? Why now and what-Chess fired again, ripping apart another skull. Tavin's hands trembled and he accidentally fired, shooting a wall behind them as they advanced. "That wall looked aggressive." Chess muttered. "Pay attention, Keller."

"Should I get Ben?"

"Fire your weapon and watch your six."

"My 6?" He asked, backing away from Chess and the car and he backed into the wall at the apartment building. Chess fired again, then he aimed and fired again. He looked around his immediate vicinity and he saw only more of them.

"Jesus Christ, Tavin. Yes, Ben, go get Ben." He answered him. Tavin stepped to go around the corner and Chess snagged his arm. "Not that way."

"But-I-Chess, what the fuck is happening?"

"Welcome to the flipside. Raise your weapon, Keller."

"Um, this isn't happening." Tavin said, confused and scared. Yes, he thought, fear. He watched Chess.

"Yes, it is." Chess argued, keeping hold of his cousin and dragging him back away from the corner as he fired the quiet weapon. If this weapon made noise, Ben would know. He reached behind him and he pulled his pistol. That, he handed to Tavin. He visibly relaxed with the pistol and he felt like he was more comfortable. He knew how to shoot that. And he did shoot, the bullet hitting a walker in the shoulder from the distance. The pow as it fired and then when he fired again, brought the live ones to the surface as well as the dead ones. "It's old and slow, Tavin. Shoot before it's outta hand."

Tavin aimed and fired, gradually steadying his shot and taking down a few of his own. He'd only shot one person and at close range. He'd never done this. Julia never trained him how to shoot a gun. She never used guns. There was no fence, no knives, no spears. These dead were in front of him. He told Chess as much. 

"I don't have a damn knife or spear, brother. Shoot."

"Chess." He heard Ben. He glanced up.

"We have a situation." He called to Ben.

"Get inside and stay there." Chess commanded, looking at a man and woman who had emerged through their front door. "Call 911." Chess demanded.

"Y'all cops?" The man asked.

"Call 911." Chess repeated.

"There's a lot of them." Tavin complained as they backed away. "Where we going?"

"You're gonna get us killed." Chess complained right back at him, putting a distance between him and the dead. He covered them with a car and he started taking head shots, which was impressive to watch. "Watch our asses, Keller. Not the-" He heard the pistol fire again as he spoke. Tavin shot one the had approached from the rear and he did so again.

Ben finally emerged from the building and stood armed on the corner. Chess grabbed Tavin and pulled him forward to meet Ben. He shoved him toward the car. "Get in and drive away." He ordered, tossing Tavin's rifle to Ben. "Or stay and watch how it's done. Up to you." He looked at Ben. "You called this in?"

"Yes."

"Is this everywhere or here?"

"Here." He answered.

Tavin stayed close and watched as they worked in sync with one another. At Ben's side, he didn't need to protect anyone. They worked together. There was a formation, a routine, albeit small formation and routine, an order to things. Tavin watched from the outside how they functioned without communicating a single word to each other and effectively exterminated a threat, or tried to when the cops showed up.

"Feel free to use that weapon, cousin." Ben said sarcastically.

He fell into this formation they had and he walked, working alongside him. The first of many patrol cars arrived to the scene and the officers ordered them to put their hands up. Chess shouted a negative response and informed them to fall back. Usually they cops arrived first, then their team would arrive to the incident and inform them to fall back. Tavin felt this incident was about to escalate.

"Take them out." Chess ordered.

Ben turned and Tavin smacked the gun down. "No, don't you fucking dare." He stammered, holding his weapon on Ben. "You don't shoot cops. You two crazy."

"Then fucking deal with them, genius." Chess ordered as he and Ben continued on. He centered himself between the officers and Chess and Ben, falling back and held his hands up, but still remained armed. He knew enough cops to know that they shot to kill and they didn't hesitate with armed individuals.  "Deal with them, Tavin." Chess repeated.

"How?"

"Place the gun on the ground." The cop called.

"Do not place your weapon on the ground." Ben warned him. He swept Tavin's legs out from under him and he aimed and shot at the officers, avoiding ending their lives, but long enough for them to take cover. Tavin stayed on the ground and he waited, laying on his back he stared up at the black sky.

"I'm gonna die tonight." He sighed. "Lord, just take me, Lord. Fuck all this. Just take me."

He still held the gun in his hand and he wondered how many more bullets he had in it. He watched the patrol car. He saw the officers' feet on the ground, both sides of the car and they took cover behind the open car doors. As he stared at the officers black shoes, there was another set of shoes behind him, approaching slowly and the officers were not watching their own backs. Tavin raised the gun and he shot the walker in the head as he approached the cop, its arms outstretched. Its body shuddered with the impact of the bullet and that caught the cop's attention. Then the zom fell forward onto the ground by the cop's shoes. The cop stared at his feet, then all hell broke loose. Tavin laid on the ground and watched as Chess and Ben fired over him at another faster moving swarm of dead.

Chess kicked him. "Up. Now, we run." He ordered as the cops rounded the vehicle. They observed the mob heading their direction and suddenly they were all on the same side. Tavin got to his feet. Knowing they were outnumbered and under armed, they hauled ass.

"Where we going?"

"Up. Anywhere up." He yelled.

The first business they saw with a dumpster, they hopped on then up to the roof. They stood up there, the five of them and they watched the neighborhood die around them. They watched as anyone on the street was fed on and eaten. They listened as they screams were bone chilling, then muffled, then silenced. Tavin was terrified.

"Chess, where's the leader? The hive leader?"

"I don't fucking know. You tell me." He yelled, looking over the swarm of dead on the street below. They clawed at the building, they knew they were on the roof. They could sense it, see it, smell it. Their blood pumped through arteries and it thumped like drums in their ears.

"In the back and waiting. Julia said he hangs back. Where? Look."

5 sets of eyes scanned the scene, past the melee of snarls and growls beneath them.

"That could be old virus, Tav." Chess said as Tavin aimed at the dead man standing by a car half a block away. Chess fired and its head exploded. "See." Tavin scanned a little closer. "Where are you?" He asked, looking past the shop windows and the cars parked on the street. He aimed and he fired at a shadow in the doorway to a laundry mat. The nest that clamored below stopped and dropped, crouching at their prey's feet. "He was right there. You don't need a psychic. You need a sniper." Tavin said.

Chess's eyes widened as he'd never witnessed the drop as Julia called it. She had told him about it. She had described that she and Jody had done this in New Jersey. Tavin, a civilian, had just dropped an entire nest in front of their eyes.

"You are hired." Chess said to him.

"There isn't enough money in the world." Tavin shook his head and he sat on the edge of the roof.

"Good, cause the money is shit."

"And you thought I was gonna get us killed." He grinned. "Napoleon, I am a sector leader for a reason." He joked, poking his cousin's arm. Tavin jumped down, landing on the sidewalk about twelve feet below. He pushed the crouching zom and it didn't budge. Why? He had no idea. He shot it in its head. They all crouched waiting to be put down. "Light it up." Chess said, hopping down after his cousin. Ben followed and the officers took the side of the building, hopping onto the dumpster then to the ground. They were a little more disturbed than the two marines and the civilian. They assisted with the extermination. They assisted when the crowds started forming and they assisted as the old virus dead ambulated toward the noise of weapons firing. Tavin shot out the door to the store and as anyone living appeared on the scene, that person was delivered into the store and secured. No living person should witness the death and the destruction they had caused. The living lay dying in the street. Those who were infected, bitten, Chess and Ben put down.

Overnight, Tavin slept in the back of one of the marine trucks that brought the team to the scene. He wasn't allowed to participate with that work, but he wasn't allowed to depart either. He kept the weapon on him, refusing to hand it over. In case something happened on that street again, he didn't want to be unarmed. It wouldn't be safe.

"What happened here, Mr Keller?" A marine asked. This one was in dress uniform and he must have been Chess's boss.

"I was here visiting my cousin and all hell broke loose. You tell me what's going on." Tavin replied. He was keeping his mouth shut. He wasn't a fool. He knew the situation was serious when the ever lovely Cookie Fields hopped into the rear of the vehicle.

"Mr Keller."

"Ms. Fields." He smiled.

"You alright? Morgan told me what happened."

"I am ok. How are we spinning this story?"

"How would you suggest we do that?" She asked, taking a seat along the wall across from him. "Gangs." She answered when Tavin didn't respond.

"It was a gang alright."

"Where are Julia and Jayson?"

"Guantanamo Bay last I heard."

"I could maybe help get her out of this mess."

"How's that, Cook?"

"She has abilities."

"Fuck you. And I say that with love."

"She's not pregnant anymore. She could be a part of something. In the thick of it."

"She got a team. She doesn't need yours."

"I think you could pass the message."

"She saved lives tonight and she wasn't even here. That's the message I'll pass on to her when I see her."

"You could join us as well." She suggested, rising from the seat. She brushed off her little pants suit. "You did a great job out there last night. You should think about it."

"Can I leave yet?" He asked watching her ass as she squatted to slide off the end of the truck. Chess appeared and gave her a hand down. He hugged his little blond, kissed her cheek. Blondie giggled.

"You can go." Chess said, not taking his eyes off Blondie. "You wanna see my place, Cook?"

"Oh, yes, Morgan. I would like that a lot."

Tavin rose from the seats next and hopped to the ground. He stood over both shorty's. Cook's heels didn't help her much with the height. They walked with him to his car. Tavin watched her walk, wide hips, a gap between her thighs. He loved gaps. Her tiny waist, those heels as the clacked on the pavement. He reminded himself he had a wife. He reminded himself that Julia did not like this blonde.

"So this is it? I can just leave?"

"Yep, go on." Chess said, taking Cook the opposite direction.

Tavin drove away and to his surprise, no one stopped him.

He had a quick drive home as the sun was coming up. He listened to the radio, the talk locally was all about the street gang shoot out from the night before. It caught civilians in the crossfire. As he drove, he turned that off. He marveled at how the general public fell for that. How many people had lost their lives? He was unsure, but they were not gang members.

Kelly was up with Tarin when he got home. Alex was with her and hovering over her.

"I'm gonna kill this kid." She said as soon as he walked in the house. "Not this one." Kelly said, holding Tarin on her chest, a breast in his mouth. "That one. Ignorant and rude child." She smacked at him and he moved fast away from her. "I told you he left me here with the baby, Alex."

"I did. He's fine."

"Because I watched her. He is fine."

"Alex, leave her alone. She ain't gonna hurt the baby." 

"Where were you all night?" He demanded. 

"Slaying zombies with Chess and Ben." He answered. Alex and Kelly looked at him suspiciously. "Call him and ask." He shrugged. "I just left there. Call him." Neither one believed him. Alex called his bluff, but there was no bluff to call as Chess confirmed it.

"All night, Alex. He was with us all night."

"Who's with you? I hear-"

"Cookie." Chess replied. "You're nosy this morning."

"Julia doesn't like her."

"Julia doesn't have to like her or approve of her, Alex." Chess said. "Are you ok? I know you miss her."

"No." Alex replied. "I'm not ok. I'm not ok with this. I wanna see her. She didn't even say goodbye."

"She couldn't Alex."

Alex hung up and was visibly upset.

"Alex, she couldn't say good bye." Kelly said to him.

"So I'm left with you. And you? Jay didn't say good bye either. They just leave us like that. Like they just go and-"

"Alex, come with me." Tavin said, heading up the steps. Alex didn't follow him at first, but he insisted. "I said come with me." He raised his voice. Alex followed him to his room and he watched as he reached into the top of his closet. He handed the kid his letter. "She wrote this when she left to have Caroline. I didn't give it to you because the girl came back the next day. But it seems like you need it now."

"What's it say?" He asked, looking up at his brother. He had tears in his eyes.

"I didn't read it. It's not for me." He answered. Alex unfolded the letter and the first line read -I didn't want to leave you. Know I didn't choose this. Alex held the letter away from his eyes, in his hand at his side. He started crying. "Yeah, you're stuck with me and Kelly." Tavin informed him and even though he felt very uncomfortable doing it, he held onto his brother while he cried. "It's not forever. Alex, she'll come back."

"How do I go there?"

"Alex, it doesn't work like that."

Alex separated from him. "It can work like that. How was Jay getting back if she died?"

"You were supposed to go get him."

"How?"

"Do not disappear there, please." Tavin asked as he went back to the closet. He handed him the notebook.

"What's this?" He asked.

"Time travel 101. I don't fucking know. You live here. This is your time. Not that. You do not leave here to go there."

"Ok."

"Your life is here." Tavin reminded him. "Why are you so attached to her?"

"Why? Jules is my sister. Why are you?"

"It's different for me than you. I love her."

"I love her too."

"We each love her different."

"Just cause I don't fuck her, I love her less?" Alex took his letter and his notebook and walked away.

"I didn't mean it like that. If that's how it came across, then I didn't mean that."

"Who's in charge now? Who's taking over everything?" Alex asked as he went downstairs.

"I am." Kelly answered.

"We'll figure something out." Tavin said, feeling that Alex needed some reassurance that his life wasn't falling apart. "We always do."

"She always does. She always figures it out and makes it work. When did you ever do that?" He asked Tavin. "All you did was hand it over to her."

"I will do it." Kelly said again.

"Babe, how will you do it? You never do anything."

"I will do it my way."

"Great. This is great." Alex whined. He took his papers to the basement. "I want my room back." He yelled up the steps.

Tavin looked at Kelly. "You still have milk." He took a seat beside her and he watched the baby suck happily from her nipple.

"I never stopped expressing it. I planned on coming back. I planned on feeding our son again. Did you think I was walking out and never coming back?" She asked, surprised and hurt by his assumption.

"Wouldn't be the first time a woman walked out and didn't come back."

"Don't put your mommy issues on me, Tavin. I didn't-is that what you thought? I'd leave our son and never come back for him? I might have been depressed, but I wasn't gonna abandon you guys."

"Kell, you want to break up. You said it last night."

"With you. Not the baby. He's as much mine as he is yours. You got issues, Tavin."

"I know. I got plenty of them."

"You fuck around."

"I know."

"Why? I do what you want don't I? I mean, you didn't complain about-is it sex?"

"Yeah."

"Well, how much does one man need?"

"You could participate, act like you want it."

"You haven't touched me since I had Tarin."

"You fucking pushed me away, Kelly. Every time-never mind."

"My doctor told me we had to wait like six weeks."

"You're lazy." He said.

"Lazy? Tavin, thanks."

"Lazy is better than saying you coulda sucked me off."

She gasped.

"You're no virgin. So don't act shocked."

"You make me feel like shit, but I'm just supposed to start sucking your dick."

"Kell-"

"7 months pregnant and you come home drunk from a bar and you want me to get excited and spread my legs when you smell like perfume and pussy?"

"I did. And you did if I remember correctly."

"Yes, we fucking did. And then after I had him, I was supposed to be excited to give you oral sex? I was supposed to have a desire for you when there's someone else? There's always someone else."

"Ok, I am sorry."

"And her-who's kid was that?"

"Jay's. If Care was mine, I wouldn't keep her a secret and have my brother take care of her."

"Oh, bullshit. I don't believe you two ever stopped fucking."

"I wouldn't have, but she did. I didn't have a choice in the matter."

"She's been in our bed, Tavin. She's all over our room."

"We did. I admit that. Right before she had the baby, yes. As for all over the room, that's an inaccurate statement."

"I could allow her. I made allowances for her. But everyone else? I couldn't stomach it. Tavin, it's not fair. And you have nerve to ask me if I have someone else."

"You're my fucking wife, Kell."

"If I ever need, I come to you. I have always come to you."

"You wanna stop coming? To me?"

"No. Yes. Sometimes. No. I wouldn't. I am not a whore, Tavin Keller."

"I know. That's the best thing about you."

"But if we split up, then-"

"Well, we aren't. No way. I'm not releasing you or letting you go or whatever you wanna call it."

"Why am I even here then? What's the reason?"

"Want me to remind you?" He asked. "I can show you."

"You keep showing me the same thing."

He took Tarin from her and set him in his swing on low. He buckled the kid in like he was going on a rollercoaster and then put the table arm in front of him. He swore the swing was the greatest invention ever, surpassing that of the remote control and possibly computer technology. The boy loved his swing. He went to the laundry room and he pulled out the sewing kit, then a needle. He placed it back on the shelf. He set the bottle of ink on the kitchen table and he then sat her at the kitchen table. He set about pinpricking a K on this girl's hand. Above the right thumb over the course of a couple hours, she had a K that matched up with his. He'd done his own a long time ago. Different ink and a different needle. He placed it back in the cabinet and he handed her the picture of the heart with their names inside it.

"Your turn." He smiled. "Remind me."

"Got a tack?" She asked.

"Jules does." He said.

"Well, let's go." She head upstairs and plucked a picture off the wall, which she dropped on her dresser. She took the tack and the paper in their room and she climbed onto their bed. She stood at the headboard and she tacked the picture above it. "Feels like home?" She smirked. He closed the door. "First we need some rules." She held up her finger, stopping him as he advanced to the bed. "This is my bed. You fuck me in our bed and no one else."

"OK."

"You wanna fuck, you bring your need to me. Not just sometime or half the time-all the time."

"OK."

"You wanna drink, you drink with me."

"You wanna drink?"

"No drugs."

"OK." He looked up at Kelly as she peered down at him from the bed. "Pittsburgh."

"Oh, um, ok."

"I wanna talk about Pittsburgh."

"What? Why?"

"You want to know I will tell you. You been bitching since the night I told you to stop."

"You don't trust me."

"I'll find out won't I?"

"Is this what you told her?" She asked, sitting on the mattress.

"Yes, it is."

"Gosh, I thought you wanted to fuck."

"I do. I wanna fuck. You wanna fuck first?"

"Talk about Pittsburgh."

"The house is bugged. I can't tell you, but I can show you."

"The house is bugged? Are you as crazy as Ray?" She laughed.

"They want Julia. The house might be bugged."

"Fantastic, Tavin. Where is she?"

"The flipside."

"Great. Even better. For how long?"

"Till next August when this shit falls apart."

"Jayson is stuck on the flipside with that crazy bitch alone for a year?"

"You make it sound so bad?" He laughed.

"You miss her." She said softly.

"I do miss her. I got her when no one else is there."

"I made you feel like that?"

"No, Kell. No. It's why we need to talk about Pittsburgh. It's why you need to know everything. If I don't have her, then I will need what I get from her from you. It's what's missing between us."

"I can't be her." She yelled.

"I'm not asking you to be her or act like her, but there's things you need to know about me that she knows."

"What do you get from her?"

"I don't know. Trust maybe? I need to trust you."

"You're scared. You don't wanna be alone. You don't want me to leave."

"No. Yes. No."

"Oh, you're tense." She shivered. She could sense it coming off him. She sensed him pulling back. His body changed. He straightened. He moved back from her. "No, don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Walk away." She answered. "Come to me."

"Don't read me."

"I am not going to read you unless you want it."

"I don't like that. How you do that to me."

"Well, then tell me, Tavin. Jesus, you went through all this shit and said you want to tell me-"

He grabbed her hands. "Do it before I change my mind."

Chess sat on the edge of the bed and he looked at the screen on his cell. Jess...he hit send call. Why, he had no idea, but he dialed it anyway. Something about the way Tavin reminded him about Jess and the way he presented it to him. He didn't plan on anything with this girl, he didn't even want a long conversation, but he wanted to check on her. He hadn't seen her in a couple months. He saw her when he was home from a distance, he didn't even talk to her. He watched her and her mom carry groceries in from the car. A man answered the phone.

"Yo, who this?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah, I was looking for Jess."

"Nah, man. Wrong number."

"Yeah, thanks." He disconnected the call. How long had he had this number for her? He deleted it and he figured he'd see her over the weekend. He'd actually knock on a door and he'd lay eyes on her, ask her how she was doing.

"Morgan, we going again?" Blondie asked coming back in his room.

"Uh, what you wanna do?"

"Uh, I'm hungry." She dropped to her knees in front of him. She set his cell aside. "So you taking me out or are we going again?"

"I'll take you out, Fields. Where you wanna go?"

"How bout some shrimp and some beer?" She smiled. "Clear another nest? Then some more beer?"

"I had enough nests for one fucking day." He sighed, thinking his front street looked like a crime scene. Because it was. He could smell the flesh burning. He'd been dismissed and took Cook with him. She'd spun her story. She'd told her lies.

She leaned her pretty face toward him and with those lips she kissed him. "I'll take your mind off it."

"You already have." He said.

"You alright, Morgan? You miss wifey?"

"Nah, I'm used to being away from her." He answered. "She left me again."

"Well, I am right here. I wanted something with you from the go."

"You got something with me, Cook. You know I love your ass."

"Oh, I love your ass too. But I was starting to really take you seriously."

"I know." He sighed, looking at her pretty brown eyes. "You're pretty." He said, pushing her hair away from her face.

"Yes, thanks. Say it again." She laughed, kissing him again.

"You're pretty." He smiled his crooked smile.

"Shrimp and beer?"

"Yeah, Cook. Shrimp and beer. Can we go to your place?"

"The burn bothering you?"

"Yes."

"Let's roll then." She grinned, hopping to her feet.

Chess's pager started beeping when he was dressing. "Huh? Cook, we got another one?" He said, looking at his pager. "Code Red in zone1."

"Zone 1." She repeated. "That's strange, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it is." Chess started down the apartment steps with Cook in her stocking feet. She put her heels on when she hit the ground floor landing. He sent her out the door to work. Chess pulled his cell out and made the call. "Answer. Answer. Answer."

"Yo." Alex said.

"Stay in the fucking house."

"What?"

"We have an incident. All of you stay in the fucking house. Go fucking dark."

"But I'm not home. I'm with Julia."

"Get your ass there, then, Alex. Where's your sister?"

"Tatia? With mommy."

"Get Mayers up and moving. Get that kid from her mother. Go fucking dark."

"Yeah, sure. Sure." Alex said.

"Stay alert. Find something sharp. Anything comes at you, stab it in the fucking head and run. You understand me."

"Yes."

"Make your calls and go. It's not a drill. Go. Now."

They put this in place for a year from now. Alex sat in on this. He read the books. He planned on going over this again this weekend.

Alex looked at Julia. "Hey, babe. Stop." He said, pushing her mouth off him.

"What? Am I doing it wrong?" She smiled.

"No, you're doing it perfect. Get dressed. We gotta leave."

Julia looked confused, but she didn't question him. "Where we going?" She asked, standing up. She was nude. She liked being nude on her knees while she sucked him. He liked it too, but the fuss for a simple blow job didn't make a lot of sense to him. He learned not to argue. She pulled her cami over her head and her shorts over her hips.

"You still got that bag I left here, right?"

"Yeah." She answered, opening the accordion doors on her closet. She pulled it off the top shelf and tossed it to him. He caught it and slung it over his shoulder. He peeked through the blind. Everything looked just fine out there. What was Chess worried about?

"You got the bag ready I asked you to pack?"

"Yes." She answered as she pulled it off the same shelf. "What's going on?"

"We're going home. We gotta make a stop first."

He and Julia left her apartment and walked over to Cal and Karen's. He didn't know whether to get honest with them as Julia had thrown them out of the fortress or whether to play this off easy or just take his sister and leave. He knew he wasn't leaving without her, so he decided to see where it would go.

He rode the elevator up to the third floor and they walked down the hall to the apartment where Tatia herself answered the door. "Alex." She smiled.

"You get your shit, we're leaving." He said, stepping inside with her and Julia.

"Where we going, Alexander?" She asked, stomping toward her stuff. "I don't wanna go with you. I don't like you."

"What's up, Alex?" Karen asked, watching Tia get her shoes. "Where you going?"

"The park." He answered.

Karen looked at him with skepticism. "Really."

"Yes." He answered, kneeling in front of Tatia. He helped her put on her shoes. "Get your bag." He said, spinning his little sister around to get her things.

"We have plans today, Alex."

"I want my sister. I am taking my sister." He said calmly.

"Who is this girl?"

"If you took five minutes to get to know me, you would know who she is." Alex said.

"Hi, I'm Julia. I'm his girlfriend."

"How long you been his girlfriend?"

"A year." She answered.

"Nice to meet you." She said, getting up from her chair. "Um, Alex, this is awful strange. You never came for her before. Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine." He answered.

"Where's Jayson and Julia?" Karen asked.

"I don't know." He replied.

"Cal was asking for her, tried her phone. Their phones. Are they around?"

Alex didn't reply. He took Tatia's bag and he took her hand. "We'll call you." He said, leading Tatia into the hallway. He pulled the door shut behind him and ushered Tatia toward the elevator. That was when the lights went out. Tatia started getting scared.

He led her to the stairwell and it was well lighted with sunlight. Better than the dark hallway. He wound the girls to the bottom floor and opened the door to death. He closed the door.

"Tatia," He said softly, getting down on her level. "Take hold of Julia's hand, please."

Julia held Tatia's hand tight as the scratching and thumping started on the door behind him. It looked strong enough to hold out the aggressive zom. He kicked around the idea of jumping briefly, but he hadn't practiced and he wasn't sure he could do it. He didn't wanna stand there and fuck that up, so he put them in the corner. Julia held onto Tatia and Alex turned her away from the door.

"You don't let her see." Alex whispered, opening the bag. 'you stab it in the head and run'...he heard Chess's voice in his head clear as day. He stepped toward the door with the knife that Julia had given him. He had his hand on the door knob and he got scared.

Fuck...He opened the door and he stabbed the blood covered monster in its head as hard as he could. Julia screamed her head off, announcing that they were in fact hidden in the stair well. "Shhh-shut the fuck up, Julia." He yelled, trying to withdraw the knife from its skull. It was wedged in there good. He left go of the knife and the dead man fell to the floor at his feet. Alex tugged on the knife till it dislodged and he peeked into the hallway over the dead body. No one, except for a mutilated body between them and the door. Fuck..."Carry her. Cover her face." He said as he stepped into the hall. Julia hoisted the 6 year old onto her hip and with her hand she pulled her head to her shoulder.

"Don't look, Tati, don't look." Alex head through the hall first, armed and ready, ahead of his girls. He passed the dead on the floor and as Julia passed, its hand reached and caught Julia's ankle, tripping her and the girls fell screaming on the hall floor. Alex moved as it tried dragging Julia's leg toward its mouth and he stabbed it through that open mouth. The struggle ceased and Julia kept screaming as Tatia started screaming. "OUT!" He screamed over both of them. He scooped Tatia into his arm and he dragged Julia by hers to her feet. Now they were screaming and crying and their manic voices carried through the first floor, through the stairwell and on up to the second and third floors. They stepped into broad daylight and it was quite a melee on the street.

"We're not far from home." Alex announced, tucking the knife in his back pocket. He pulled out his cell and he dialed Chess's number, stepping them all back inside the safety of the apartment building's corridor. He'd killed the ones in the hall. They were safe.

"Alex, what?"

"I'm at mommy's. They're fucking everywhere."

"You were supposed to go home and get Jody."

"I was closer to Tatia. You said get my sister. I got my sister. I got Julia. Chess, I got the girls, but they're in the street. They're everywhere."

"It's old virus. It's slow-"

"That's not fucking slow!" He screamed.

"You're faster. I promise. I told you to run."

"I'm carrying two fucking girls." He argued. "Fuck this. I'm leaving. I'm jumping."

"Jumping? Do it if you can, but what you jump into could be just as bad." He warned him. "No, I know you're scared, Alex. Calm down. Call Jody and he will come and get-"

"I'm jumping." He held onto the girls. He had no clue what he was doing or where he was going but it had to be better than where he stood. Julia and Jay would be there. They'd know what to do. FIND YOUR ENERGY AND FOLLOW IT THROUGH THE DARKNESS...hold on it may be a bumpy ride...Julia had written it in the book. As he held onto Julia and Tatia and all their noise and tears, Karen emerged through the stairwell doorway, having heard the commotion. She'd seen the blood bath. She'd seen the bodies. She grabbed her daughter as Alex took the jump. He carried the four of them to the apple tree in the front yard of the farmhouse.

"Where the fuck are we?" Karen asked, stepping away from them. Alex set Tatia down and held onto her hand. Julia stood scared and confused. "Yeah, dude. Where the fuck are we?"

"We're at Julia's house."

Chess hung up the phone as he geared up. His anxiety level at this point was through the roof. He called Tavin who didn't answer. He called Jody. When Jody answered, he only had to say two words-go dark.

"Tia-"

"Alex has Tia and they jumped." He hung up. Jody would have to deal with the rest of them. Not that there were many of them left on this side. 

Jody climbed out of the basement and head up to the bedroom. He knocked on the door.

"Tavin." He called.

"What, Jo?" He heard through the door.

"Chess called. He said 'go dark'."

"Awe, fuck." He groaned. "Why Lord? Why?" He asked.

Jody heard him moving around inside his room. He opened the door. "Um, remind me about the dark thing?"

"Close up the house, gather the weapons and secure your perimeter, Sir."

"Where's the kids?"

"Alex has taken Tia and jumped, Sir."

"Jumped. He read the book. Ok. So it's us three?"

"And the child, yes, Sir."

"Jody, stop that Sir shit, please." Jody stood quiet. "Well, we're secure here. If the kids jumped, they're more secure than we are." He saw the nervousness in Jody's eyes. "If they're with Julia and Jay, then they are secure. 100%. I assure you. I have been there."

"Me, too, Jody. Tavin's right."

"Napoleon's coming?"

"Yes. They're gearing up. Won't be long."

"Weapons."

"I assume you have some." He said.

"They're everywhere." Tavin replied. "Old fashioned knives. I think that's where this is heading. The doomsday closet has five hand guns and a rifle with ammo."

"I will go." He said. He held out his hand. "Keys."

"You want the car."

"I am not walking." He replied.

"You can drive."

"Of course I can. Normally we drive stick, but I have been trained to drive an automatic."

"Infantry, Jo?"

"No, New Jersey, Sir."

"Wow, you seem a little excited about this."

"I can help."

"You certainly can. Carry on. I helped last night."

"Last night?"

"Yes, last night. I was with Chess."

"They are trying to kill us, Sir." Jody said, looking at Kelly and Tarin on the bed. "We must leave. Now. I will get the go bags and we will leave."

"Huh? What the-"

"I know what he's thinking, Tavin. This is a coincidence. Last night and today. Old virus and now-they're trying to flush her out."

"That's crazy." Tavin said. "Where are we going? With the baby?"

"To the doomsday closet. We gather our people and we will go with plan B."

"We are the people. Ray's home." He said. "What's plan B?"

"We gather our people and then we go somewhere no one will know of."

"I'm not driving all the way to Ann." He shook his head in disagreement.

Kelly lifted off the bed. She grabbed her cell. "No cells." Jody said.

Within 15 minutes the go bags were in the car and the 3 of them head to Sandy's. Ray was home and he was watching the news about the Square. Jess had seen the news and was standing in Sandy's living room alongside Sandy who was crying at the horror she witnessed. Tavin and Jody went to the closet and there was nothing inside this closet that indicated any guns were there.

"Ray!" Tavin yelled. When Ray came into the room he and Jody stood in front of the open closet. "Where's the guns and ammo and stuff?"

"Oh, in there." He answered. "Are we a go?" He asked Jody as he rummaged through the closet, pulling stuff out and throwing it behind them on the floor. He lastly removed the carpet and started prying the floor board up. 

"Um. Not yet. Not just yet." Tavin replied.

"Yes." Jody answered confidently and calmly. He saw Tavin was disturbed and he remembered this was not his normal environment.

Jess appeared in the door way. "Guys, they'll come for us. We need to go somewhere where they can find us from the flipside."

Tavin looked at Jess. He thought of Chess. He thought about Julia. He covered Jess's mouth and took her to the hall. He leaned over ice cream and he whispered in her ear.

"Yes, Tavin. Definitely." She said, her breath warm on his neck.

"Ice cream, cutie." He kissed her forehead. "I'm running home. Back in 10. Meet you there."

Jess was his go to girl, gathering up all their people and the go bags from the car. She ushered everyone across the street and into her house. They all occupied the downstairs and they all stood quietly and anxiously. Tavin slipped into his own house and in permanent marker so it couldn't be missed or over looked he wrote "ICE CREAM" in large black letters on the kitchen table. Julia, Jay and Alex would all understand his message. He head back to Sandy's, parking in the driveway. He sent one last message to Chess. He'd figure it out like Jody had figured this out, if he hadn't already Tavin would be surprised.

"I'm giving up cake and I'm eating the ice cream now." He left the phone in his car and he walked away.

Karen and Julia watched as Alex and Tatia looked at the grave. "Hi, Caroline." Tatia said, straightening the cross over the dirt. Alex knelt beside his sister and they touched the dirt together. "Do you see the colors yet, Tatia?"

"White sparkles." She said, moving her fingers through the specks of energy above Caroline's plot. "Pretty sparklies." She said.

"Yes, pretty." Alex said softly. "Let's find mommy Julia."

"Mommy Julia is here." She said, getting up from the ground. Alex held her hand and she let go immediately, charging up the front steps to the door. It was shut, locked. She ran to the side, looking through the windows. She banged on the glass. They were asleep. She banged on the glass again.

Julia roused first, hearing the noise. She shook Jayson as she looked around the first floor. "Cover up, Jay." She said, pulling the sheet over them. She saw the small face in her window and thought she was dreaming, then Alex appeared beside her. "Oh my God." She smiled, tears filling her eyes. "He read the book. Jayson, Alex read the book." She shook Jay's arm, then waved them away from the window. Any other day they'd be outside, but the one afternoon they chose to fuck and nap, they had visitors. She grabbed a robe and tied it quick around her waist, then ran to the door.

"My God, Alex. Baby, you can read and follow directions." She was excited and she grabbed her boy and held onto him tight. She bent in front of Tatia and hugged her. "What the hell, Alex?" She kissed Tatia's forehead and held Alex's hand. "I am so happy to see you, my Alex." She hugged him again. "What's wrong?"

"Where are we?" Karen asked again, standing next to Julia, too in the grass by the corner of the porch.

"Home." Julia answered.

"This place is fucking real?" Julia, too asked, looking around the empty space across the street. She looked up at the house.

"Gosh, please come inside. Why are you all here? With Karen and Julia? With Karen, Alex?"

"We need to talk."

Julia set them at the table and she went to wake Jay. "Babe," She called, shoving his shoulder.

"What?" He groaned, reaching a hand between her legs. 

She slapped at him. "We have visitors." She whispered. He popped up sleepily, reaching for the holster on the bed post. "Good ones. Stop it." She smiled, touching his hand.

"This place stinks." Karen noted, scrunching up her face. The farm had invaded her nares.

"Is that mommy?" He asked, pulling the sheet around his waist. He stood up and peeked into the table. "Be right there." He smiled. Jay stepped back to the bed and pulled on some shorts and a tee. "He brought my mother?" He whispered. Julia shrugged. "Get dressed, please."

When Julia joined them at the table, Alex launched into a tale that began with Tavin in Maryland and ended under the apple tree in the yard of the farmhouse.

"Why was Tavin in Maryland with Chess in the first place?" Jay asked.

"Picking up our stuff?" Julia suggested.

"What stuff?" Karen asked.

"Not now, so this is fishy to me." Julia said to Jayson. "I gotta go home." She said nervously. "Jay, I gotta go home."

"No, they'll handle it."

"They can handle it just fine. I know that. I'm not stupid though. You think this is some kinda coincidence? Two incidents in 24 hours time frame in our back yard and Chess's? This is a set up. They're coming after us, our people." Julia reached across the table. "Hands." She demanded. She knew this was a bad idea when she did it. She opened up.

"Ooh, it tickles."

"Yeah, wait for it. The burn's not fun." She replied, warning him ahead of time.

"Burn. It's hot." He said, trying to pull away.

"Deal with it. Come back at me." She demanded.

"Come back?"

"Let it flow back." She said soothingly. She was too snippy, pushy at first. Connecting to Jayson took energy and time. "It'll take a few minutes." She said calmly. "Those we know the longest, take the longest."

"You taking me all the way back?" He asked.

"Let it happen." She said, loosening her grip a little on his hands. His palms were sweaty and his brow was moist on his head. "There's gonna be stuff." She warned him. "You're gonna have to deal with it. We will."

"I know. It's why we're here."

"All of us, Jayson." She remarked. Julia looked at Karen. "Where's my father?"

"The bar." She answered.

"Which one?"

"The blue line."

"Good." She released Jay's hands. "Babe, I know it's overwhelming. Take a hit or two and chill. Alex, you come with me."

"Take me, Julia." Jay demanded.

"You stay with them. We are the jumpers."

She led Alex to the bedroom and she adjusted Jay's belt around his waist. "It's backwards."

"It's not. I want you going gun first. Don't fucking shoot live people and don't shoot me."

"Julia-"

"We got Jody. It's getting dark. I do not want you in a fucking swarm."

"Ok so you're taking him?" He yelled. "Into a swarm?"

"He can see. I can see. I have him. I will bring him back."

"Julia, not Alex. No."

"Back the fuck off us and leave us go." She shoved him. "Shit. I'm sorry. Jay, I am sorry. It's the connection, Jay. I told you we don't connect. Babe, I'm sorry."

"Fucking go. I got the girls."

Julia was gone before he finished his sentence.

The house was dark. The sun was coming down and had anyone looked inside only shadows would be seen. She handed her bag to Alex. "My books." She ordered. He took off, sprinting upstairs to her room. She saw marker on the table. ICE CREAM. Tavin's handwriting. She picked up the cell off the counter, then set it down. She picked up the house phone, then set it down. As she thought about how she was getting to her father's bar, the back door knob twisted. Julia raised her gun and backed toward the steps.

"Alex. Now." She called as quiet as she could. The door was being pushed in. She was ready. She looked back over her shoulder to the window. One car askew in the street.  She shot a warning at the door, hitting the wall.

"Julia!" Alex yelled, running down the steps.

"Out, out." She urged, backing toward the front door. As they exited a man she didn't know raised a gun at her, but she fired first, hitting his shooting arm in the shoulder. The gun flew. Alex scrambled for it. "Keys." She demanded as the man held his bleeding shoulder. He didn't move. Julia fired again, hitting him in his knee cap. He dropped.

"Julia, the car's running, stupid." Alex called from the curb.

"Shit. I'm sorry." She backed to the car and the man reached for his ankle with his hand on his good arm. Julia fired and hit him in his head. "Fucker, I didn't wanna do that." She whined, getting into the driver's seat. She floored it to the Blue Line, passing walkers on the street, screaming Mav citizens as they ran and hid.

"Jules, this is insane." Alex screamed as they skidded to a stop at the bar. She and Alex went inside. It was empty of law enforcement at that time since there was a disaster on their hands outside the bar.

"You, let's go." She demanded of her dad, thinking she had kicked them out of the fortress.

"Julia, it's crazy out there."

She raised her gun and aimed. "Out, now. Or I will leave you so help me God." She was giving him a chance. "I have Karen." She added "Move." She ordered, backing them all around the bar to the door. "Alex, anything?"

"No." he answered.

"Give him the extra gun. The one we took off the guy." Julia started the car and floored it away from the bar and through Maverick to the Square, which looked like a war zone for humans and a buffet for the dead. "Don't look." She said, but none of them could not look at the humans feasting on humans.

"Where's the fucking marines, Julia?"

"No clue." She replied, skidding the car to a stop around the block from Jess's house.

"Where we going?" Alex asked as Julia jumped out of the car.

"We're gonna get ice cream." She looked at Alex as he carried her pack with him. She looked back at her father. "Keep up." She said, jogging through the yards till she got to Jess's. They slipped through the length of her neighbor's yard and around to the gate where they let themselves into the yard. They climbed onto the deck and slid the door open to the kitchen where they all stood waiting patiently. For her.

She pulled Tavin to his feet and went out on the deck with him. "Cigarette." She said. "Please, I'm dying here." She fought off tears. "You know what I had to do to get here?" She asked. "What is this? What is all this madness? We left to avoid all this."

"They're trying to flush you out, I think. Jody thinks they're trying to kill us all."

"Why though? We left."

"I know." He replied, lighting a cigarette. He handed it to her. He lit one for himself.

"This is beyond an infected infant, Tavin. I don't understand this."

"The coincidence is too big to ignore though It's been purposefully released at specific spots. Why Karen's? Tia was there. So was Alex. They're fucking with your family on purpose. To draw you out into the open. If this is true, then if we die in the process, Julia, they don't care."

"What do I do? Tavin, what should I do? Hand her over? Turn myself in?"

"No."

"Well, you all can't live like this. I'll do it." She started crying and shook nervously while she smoked. "Fuck. I killed a man at the house, Tavin."

"Who?"

"No idea. It was us or him. I chose us."

"Take us home, Julia." He said.

"Is it that simple? We'd need a bus." She yelled.

"Shh, please, Julia." He rolled his eyes.

"God dammit, don't roll your eyes at me." She smacked him. "I'm sorry. I am so wound up. I am so, so wound up."

"I see that. They're zoms. You seen zoms before."

"Tavin," She inhaled one last time, then flicked the cigarette. "Why here? Why not Ann? We always go to Ann."

"Oh, that's easy. We didn't wanna be tracked." He answered. "One person knows where we are. We can trust him."

"Chess."

"Yes."

"They made him take a lie detector. They got eyes on him."

"They know what ice cream is?"

"He does. If he comes here they won't be far behind." Julia went back in the house and she looked at the people in the living room. Tavin, Kelly, Tarin, Jess, Sandy, Ray, Jody, Cal, John. "Alex, you got enough energy for this?" Julia asked doing a quick head count.

"I carried three home." He said.

"Three. Who'd you take home?" Tavin asked.

"Tia, my Julia and Karen." He answered, going to Kelly and Tarin and Tavin. He disappeared with them.

"Oh, we don't even know if this is safe." Julia mumbled. "Fine, up. Everyone with a fucking bag. I don't want any shit outta any of you. This is my house, my rules. Understood, people?" She saw Jess step in line along side Jody, talking quietly with him. "You, where do you think you're going, Jesslyn?"

"You said get in line." She argued, crossing the room to her.

"Don't do this to me again. No. Please, just stay home. They'll get it under control. They'll realize we're gone. It'll settle down."

"For how long, Julia?" She asked, holding onto her hand.

"A year."

"What if it doesn't settle down?"

Alex returned and he swept up a few more people, his aunt and uncle, his cousin and Cal. "You bring up the rest." He said before fading with them.

Jody approached the girls, but hung back a moment as Julia held her hand up at him. "Jess, this is not fun. You don't remember."

"Only parts of it." 

"Baby girl, you're feeling everything so hard right now. It's cause I connected to you."

"Baby girl, I never stopped thinking about you." She replied, mocking her tone of voice.

"Can we discuss this there?" Jody asked. "She seems like a sweet girl and you obviously are close to her."

"Were. Were close. You don't understand. It's the connection, Jess. It's not the real thing."

"You feel it too. I know you do. If you didn't you wouldn't have said sorry." She leaned to Julia's ear and she whispered. "You said you would always take care of me."

"You hated zombie world." She said looking around her to Jody.

"Julia." They all spun to the front door. "Are you in there, Julia?"

Jess opened the door for him. "Ice cream? You're taking ice cream." Chess yelled.

"I am trying to talk ice cream into staying in the freezer." Julia yelled.

Chess took hold of Jess. He held her around her arms. "Get the fuck outta here."

Julia latched onto Jody. She saw Jess struggling with Chess. "You said you'd take care of me."

"We don't leave our family behind." Julia said, taking hold of Chess's shoulder.

"Jules, no." He screamed. He hated the dark. She held Chess for dear life. She let go of everyone when she felt grass beneath her feet. "Dammit, Julia. I didn't wanna go. I didn't wanna come here. I didn't want you to bring me here. Julia, what the hell are you thinking?"

"I don't care." She yelled. "We don't leave our family behind."

"Macy? Hayley?"

"Ben." She yelled back at him.

"I'm angry with you right now. I am so angry." He walked away from her.

"I'm sorry, Chess. They weren't standing in front of me at the time."

"Take me back. Now." He demanded, turning and pacing back to the apple tree where she was standing. "Now, Morgan. Take me back." He stood less than an inch away from her. "Julia, how am I supposed to be here? With you? With him?  In this fucking place, Julia. This is not fair to me. God damn it."

"Please, stop yelling at me, Chess. Please. I didn't know what else to do. They're trying to kill us. They went after my fucking kids. Chess, this is-"

"Your fucking fault." He screamed. "You caused all of this. Every last fucking bit of it."

"Chess, I was trying to-"

"Well stop fucking trying. You don't know what you're doing. You fuck with people's lives. You-"

"Chess, I'm sorry." She cried. "I didn't want any of this." She punched his chest as hard as she could. Again and again. "I didn't want all this. I didn't want it. I-" She dropped to her knees and cried, sitting under the apple tree. She grabbed a handful of dirt off Caroline's grave and she threw it at him. "I didn't want this to happen. I left to avoid all this. I left. I volunteered to leave. What the hell happened there?"

"I told you to go. You don't listen to me, you never fucking listen to me. You never do anything anyone else wants you to do."

"You agreed with me. You thought it was a good idea. You thought it was the best thing for her. I did the best thing for her."

"Julia, you did the best thing for her but you fucked all of us in the process."

"How was I supposed to know that? How was I ever supposed to know this would happen?"

"I told you what would happen weeks ago if you tried to get out of this. I told you. Me. I was very clear to you what would happen."

"So I dig her up and go home. You sick fucking ass hole. Is that what you want? Is that the best thing for her? For us? It doesn't matter? Are you that fuckin bitter?"

"I didn't say that. You did. I never said that. Julia, I wouldn't expect you to do that."

"You did say that. You did. You stood in that apartment in Maryland and you said produce the body."

"That's what they said. Not me. I would never expect you to do anything like that. It was an option presented to me."

"You dragged me into this whole mess, Chess Morgan." She yelled, getting off the ground. "You were the one who got fucking scared at boot camp. You were the one that told them about me in the first place."

"First of all, I kept me alive in boot camp. I kept you alive here. We all did that for each other. It wasn't one over the other. Second, I wanted you to come with me. I asked you to come with me. No. You made other bad choices."

"Bad choices? You were the one that called them in to my case. You were the one that allowed this whole fucking thing to start."

"When you got sick, I was trying to, I was doing the right thing. I did what I thought you would want at the time. It was so early, I thought-I believed all that shit they told me. I thought you were gonna fucking die and then you didn't."

"Bad choices. That's all we fucking are. A fucking bad choice. You were the biggest mistake of my life." She screamed. "You, all the shit I been through for you and with you and you continuously fuck me over. You continuously fuck with me, holding that fucking ring over me."

"Fuck you that goes both ways. Mistakes. The only one I made was trusting you to begin with." He yelled. "Take me the fuck home now."

Chess pulled his gun and fired over her shoulder, blasting a walker in the head as it leaned over the front fence toward his argumentative and emotional wife. The gun shot brought out Jay and Jody. They noticed them on the porch. "I didn't shoot her." Chess yelled, holstering his pistol.

"Oh, we thought she shot you." Jody corrected him.

"She wouldn't get a round off." Chess snorted.

"Julia, maybe you should take him home?" Jody suggested.

"Sure, Chess. Let's go home." She held her hand out to him and he wouldn't take it. "You won't jump will you?" Chess turned and walked away from her. "Chess, I can get you through the dark. I promise. It's not that bad. There is light at the end of the tunnel." She assured him.

"Fucking red haired devil, you are." He yelled.

Julia joined Jay and Jody on the porch. "He's scared of the dark." She whispered.

"He's walking in the dark, Julia." Jody pointed out.

"He doesn't like the dark. The transformation of physical into energy. He's terrified of it."

"That was an ugly fight." Jay announced.

"One of our uglier ones. Did you open up-"

"Yes. Alex and Julia already chose a cubby."

"A cubby? What's a cubby?"

"Tatia calls the rooms in the addition, cubbies, like at school where she puts her coat and book bag."

"She goes up."

"I know."