CHAPTER EIGHT-PICK YOUR BATTLES

Julia awoke early to strong rain hitting the window and the sound of strong winds blowing across the open field. The sound of this storm alarmed her and it sounded quite brutal. She had no idea what time it was and out of habit her eyes scanned the dark room for the red digital numbers on the clock that was at home in her basement. Out of habit she reached for a cell and only felt Jess. Jess...and Jay behind her. She felt sandwiched between the two. She lifted a little and she felt Jay's arm around her tighten a bit as she moved.ia"It's only a storm, Julia."

"Sounds bad." She whispered. She wanted to look out the window, see for herself.

"It's fine." He assured her, kissing her shoulder. "And it's dark." All she would see was darkness and she knew that. No street lights, no moon. What did she plan on looking at?

"I know. Lemme go." She said, moving his arm.

"Gotta check, huh? Every storm that comes through? Really?" He knew she would. She checked at home too.

Julia eased over him, kissing his cheek as she passed and pulled her robe on, put slippers on her feet. She flipped on the lamp, on low light. Chess had rolled, she observed, as she pulled a cigarette from her box on the desk.

"Not in here." Jay moaned, seeing the cigarette in her hand.

"Sending me out in the storm, my Jay?"

"Try not doing it at all."

"Yeah, I know." She agreed as she crossed the room. She peeked out the window and saw what she expected to see, black. Nothing that surprised her, a reflection of herself in the window, hair a mess and her robe open enough to show a V of white skin on her chest. Her eyes refocused on the outside.

"Jay, turn off the light." She said, eyes concentrating on a dim red glow where her field should be. Red=death. Red should be there, she reminded herself. Red should remain stationary on her fence, immobile and stuck like prey in a spider's web.

"Whatcha looking at, babe?" He asked, stretching to turn the lamp off.

"It's red." She answered him, sounding so matter of fact. Immobile red as she scanned the perimeter of the farm. The perimeter check at night in the darkest of dark was easy, though she could not see the entire perimeter, she didn't have a 360 view from the window. Maybe...she thought, if they could make a 360 perimeter view...on the roof? She set that thought aside a moment and as the room behind her fell into similar darkness, her reflection disappeared and the red lined up on the fence, maroon-red orbs of light in a line, some larger than others depending on the amount of residual energy that remained inside the dead from the living soul.

The chill in the room bothered her, goose bumps erupting on her arms and legs. She pulled a pair of jeans on and a tee over her head. She swore something moved, a red blip on the dark screen of the outside landscape. She focused to her right across the field where the willow swayed in the wind. Another red blip on the black landscape, slowly moving through the field. "Breech." She said calmly. "In the field by the willow, Jay." She turned her body to see better, craning her neck as the couple red orbs crept through the field where the horses ran. That fence hadn't been finished yet. That fence was checked regularly, but obviously it was not strong enough to hold. Jay pulled on jeans and joined her at the window. He couldn't see anything. "Far field, by the willow. We got walkers in the field."

"How many?"

"At least two, but I only have watched a few minutes." She replied, taking his hand. She sent some energy his way, creeping into his nerves and she dragged her finger across the window pane along where the fence should be. "See?" She asked him. He nodded his response and then as she moved her finger toward the far right there was another red orb floating through the pasture. "Number three."

Julia sensed they were being pushed by the wind, in the direction that wind blew, in from the East. Usually the walkers didn't stay in the dense woods. They'd only half finished the fence out there, but where these walkers were entering the field, they had their perimeter intact as of last night.

"That part of the fence is done, Julia. We have that secure, babe. How are they-"

"I don't know? But they are." She answered, concentrating on the willow. " Maybe a tree fell? It's windy." She left his hand go to fetch her boots from the corner. She turned her flash light on and she and Jay sat in the corner and laced up.

"What are we possibly doing about this now, Julia?" He asked.

"We go downstairs, make sure nothing comes inside and we stay dark till morning." She answered, making it sound so simple.

"We shouldn't bug out."

"No." She shook her head. She answered honestly. "They're in the pasture. There old fence is between us and them. Know what that's gonna be like in the mud, wind and rain, Jayson?"

"And?"

"What is safe? Safe is an illusion." She muttered. "We keep em off the porch and out of the house. I don't think going out there to vehicles is a good idea. What do you think?" Julia asked, taking her cigarette and her lighter with her as she lit the flashlight and head down the steps. Jay was on her heels and once they got to the landing, the glow from the fireplace gave them some night vision in their immediate space. Jayson went to wake Jody and Chess, then returned to her in the kitchen where she smoked by the back door. An annoyance, but her options on an appropriate smoking area were few and far between.

"Should I wake up my brother?"

"Don't get him all upset please. But he should learn this, yes." She replied as she peeked out the curtain on the door. Julia moved to the window by the table and she looked out that curtain, peering into the side yard. Red orb on the porch, which was still and she waited a moment before she moved. It was waiting for movement. It was waiting for something, a signal from the environment before it started its awkward gait along a wrap around porch. It was like a path that led to their front door, or with any luck, right off the porch. Only one that she saw, but she couldn't fathom how it got through the fence from the pasture onto the porch. All this would come to light once there was light, once this storm passed and once the darkness gradually gave way to light of day. Julia passed through the main seating room and into the living room, moving quietly along the wall and over creaky floor boards that gave away each footstep. Her fingers crossed with each step that the elements outside were loud enough to mask the creaks beneath her feet.

"What are we dealing with, Julia?" Chess asked, joining her by the window. He watched as she peeked through the curtain. A group by the front gate, a handful of glowing red orbs as they passed through.

"Front gate's open." She answered. "Five red out there. One on the porch. At the least, 3 in the pasture." She gave him what she saw and she could not guess about what else lurked in the stormy darkness. "We waking the house up or staying dark?" Julia questioned him as she could go either way. "Bug out plan."

"Yeah, we hold off on it though. It's been coming down pretty hard out there. You know what the ground looks like after a long rain."

"I do. I explained it. We going to see Ann, Chess?"

"Let them come." Jay whispered. "Stay dark."

"The plan is to bug out, which I don't really feel like doing at this point in time." Chess replied calmly. "I see no one wants to be overrun, but I doubt that there's so many out there that we will be."

"Stay dark and keep them out of the house. Until it's light out." Jay suggested, which made sense to him. Running around in the dark would only put those outside at risk and then put the ones inside the house at risk. Jay opted to leave the gate open and leave the pasture alone. Let the dark and the storm do its job and provide them the cover they need.

"Alright, sounds like a plan." Chess agreed. "I can handle either plan."

"Not everyone can handle either plan. We only been at this a few weeks, Chess. These people don't know what the hell's going on and we're weak."

"We are not weak." Chess argued.

Jay looked over his shoulder at Ray who was still asleep on the sofa. "These people are scared. They are not the same people that came through this with us." Jay looked nervous. "You always ask me to trust you, well trust me this time. You try walking us out there without drilling first and you're gonna lose people. You will." He stated firmly.

"We still need them downstairs."

"No we don't." Jay answered. "If we have to do the bug out from the second floor, I will get them where they need to go. Let them sleep through it like nothing is going on."

"Jody?" Julia asked.

"I agree with Jayson."

"Tavin?" Julia asked, noticing he was dressed and listening quietly by the doorway to the addition.

"Um, what would you do if you got this as a call, Chess?"

"We would have lighting. We would have a perimeter set up. We would have gear. We would have-"

"And if you didn't have those things?"

"We'd ride it out till daybreak and clean it up when it was done. This is secluded. The team would have that on its side. It is a small area. This is not a problem. Two men-"

"So Jay is right?"

"Yes, he is." Chess answered, leaning against the wall by the door. He didn't bother looking outside. He knew he could not see. "Everyone pick a door and stay alert." He slid his back down the wall and took the front door.

"What time is it?"

"Round three." Chess replied. "We got hours, so sit tight. We'll see what we're dealing with first light."

As the hours passed the storm sounded as if it was only worsening. As dawn approached, the noise from the storm awoke several in the addition who came out only if to try and use the bathroom or see if the house was still standing. Kelly was first out, looking for Tavin and he sent her upstairs when she emerged from the room. He had a low conversation with her, had her dress and head up to Julia and Jay's room to sit out the storm and be closer to Tarin should he stir. When Kelly got upstairs she found Jess in bed and woke her, asked her to dress and stay quiet.

"What are you doing up here, Jesslyn?" Kelly asked, flicking the lamp on low. She gathered Jess's clothes and tossed them to her on the bed. She turned the lamp off.

"Sleeping." She answered, pulling on her tee shirt and her yoga pants from the day before.

"You fuck them?" Kelly asked, sitting on the bed next to her.

"Yes." She answered. "Well, they fucked me." She whispered, getting up and looking out the bedroom door. She saw Jay and Jody sitting on the steps talking quietly. "What's going on?" She asked anyone and no one in particular.

"Zoms in the yard. Go back to bed, Jess." Jay answered.

Jody looked over his shoulder and saw Jess above them on the landing.

"Are we safe?" She asked blatantly, placing hands on her hips.

"What do you think?" Chess asked from the front door.

Jess turned and went back to the bedroom. She opened the curtain, looking onto the farm, barely visible as the night gradually faded into day. Rain still poured and the wind was letting up a bit. She went back to the hall. "How do you know? I don't see anything."

"We know, Jesslyn." Chess replied sternly. Julia sensed the tension off Chess as Jess turned again and left the hall.  Chess had grown to be the type A personality. He didn't like to give explanations and he was not in the mood for chit chat. He was already moody and seeing Jess upstairs made him no happier. She wondered if it bothered him or Jody. Perhaps no one cared. Perhaps it was all in her head. She sat at the table by the window and she waited for something to happen. Anything to break the monotony and when the elephant in the room slowly faded away, Julia focused on the window. She patiently watched as the dark turned to a dim light. She even drifted off to sleep in her chair and she startled awake a bit later when she heard Tavin coming out of the addition.

"They're starting to wake up. What do you want me to tell them?" He asked.

"What do you think you should tell them?" Chess asked,  his head resting on folded arms which rested on his bent knees. Chess sounded very dry and very grumpy, but he was trying to get the former leader to think like a new leader. What would Tavin do? Chess laughed to himself. How the tables had literally turned on him. What was once a very pleasant and peaceful existence for him on this farm was turning into a headache. A simple headache. Very basic things that Tavin should know were over his head. "I mean what did you tell Kelly? Try that, Tavin." Chess changed his tone of voice and he knew as well as the others that eventually Tavin Keller would come to be his greatest asset. He had lived so normally for the last few years that he had softened considerably. Once he got over the fear, as Jay had indicated, then he would strengthen and he would lead. He would possibly come to take his very own place or take Julia's place altogether as one. He needed to grow into his zombie world persona. It wouldn't happen over night. One does not build confidence, experience and a clear head over night. He had calm in the face of trauma due to his job, but calm in the face of life or death, his own or his family's, he'd yet to fully realize it. The largest problem was denial. Once they phased out of denial, then all would be right in zombie world. Since Julia could no longer do as she pleased, that would take time. This time around he'd need to figure that out on his own without her influence. He had seen slivers of it at home recently, before the great nest at the apartment. He made sense when he chose to think. Chess needed the man to think instead of looking to others to think for him.

Chess hopped off the floor and left the door uncovered. Julia looked to the left and kept an eye there and at the table where she sat. Chess followed Tavin and they stayed in the addition. She drifted in and out of sleep around that time, interrupted as footsteps made their way from the addition to the stairs. When she stirred, she looked from window to door and the back over her shoulder to the door behind her. As the people woke and stirred, the noise level gradually picked up. As the sky grew light, Julia finally had enough and the curiosity was killing her, so she climbed the stairs and looked out the window. Not exactly an overwhelming amount of dead, but the breech on the fence was concerning. Two places were visible from her vantage point, about thirty yards from the willow a tree had come down. Another fifty yards a branch, a rather large one, had fallen directly onto the unfinished portion of the fence, allowing entrance, though this one more difficult to traverse than the other. She saw 15 zoms in the pasture, which was a manageable number. That was not their problem at hand, however. The fence would need repair. "Shit." She muttered to herself. Kelly joined her at the sill and she looked out over the field where Julia pointed out the fence breech. "That'll take all fucking day."

"In the rain too, Julia." Kelly added.

Julia left her companions in her room and she head to the addition. "Two breeches, one tree and one branch in the field." She turned from them and she walked away.

"You can see out there?"

"Sure, head up. You'll see what we're dealing with." She frowned.

The streak had ended. Their land was no longer untouched by the walking corpses. It was possible to have their fence breeched. If not by the zom's physical bodies, then by mother nature herself. She was followed by Chess. "How do we fix it?" He asked, arms folded over his chest.

"I don't fucking know. I didn't build it." She answered shortly. She calmed herself down. Upset by the breech and nothing else. "We will figure it out."

"Do we have a back up fence laying around, Julia?" He asked.

"We will figure it out." She assured him, going to the coffee pot. She poured them each a cup of coffee. "Gonna be a long fuckin day. That much I know. I only looked out my window. That's not even a complete assessment of the entire perimeter." She replied. "This storm's not over yet either."

"Once the dead are cleared, we'll have to charge up the power tools. We got enough gas for the saws I think."

"I think so. One thing at a time." She sighed. She peeked out the kitchen curtain. "It's light enough now. So let's finish our coffee and then head out." She suggested.

"Yep." He nodded, rounding the kitchen to the living room. Julia lit a cigarette and smoked while she waited out the rest of her people.

"I wanna go out." Karen volunteered excitedly as she came in the kitchen for coffee. She fixed herself a cup.

"Fine." Julia answered, noticing that Karen had Chess's gun on her, tucked into her jeans.

Julia peeked through the door curtain again. "3." Julia said. She walked to the window overlooking the table and peeked through the curtain. "2 on the porch." She moved along to the next window and there were dead in the yard. "5." She sighed, setting the curtain back. "That's what I see. There may be more."

"10 total. So, how did they get in?"

"The gate is open, Karen. They walked in." Julia answered as she peered out the window at the gate. The wind must have moved it. She would need to look at the latch and make sure it was functional and sturdy. All the storms they'd endured and never had that gate opened due to winds or storms. She found this suspicious and wondered if it had been latched securely when they had returned home the day prior. Jody joined her by the window. "Hey, you shut that yesterday, right?"

"Of course and I checked it when I did checks." Jody replied.

"Ok," She nodded.

"It was shut, Julia." He stated.

"You were not distracted at all with your female companions?"

"No, I was not distracted by any female companions."

"Julia is not a distraction?"

"No, she is not." He replied. "Why would she be a distraction?"

"The tears and the-"

"Oh, that? Well, no not really. I didn't allow it."

"You didn't allow it?"

"I asked her to stop it and she composed herself and we continued."

"What did you think I meant, Jo?"

"I am accustomed to having a female at my side. That is not an issue for me."

"Ok."

"She is not a worthy companion anyway, Morgan."

"Excuse me?" Julia asked.

"In the context of killing, of course. That is what I meant."

"Oh, alright then."

"She also would have to want that."

"I doubt she wants that." Julia shook her head.

"She does not." He replied. "She would be another who enters for a boyfriend and we cannot have that."

"Oh, really." Julia smiled. "Like the idea of a promise ring, Jodeeee." She asked, because she knew he'd reply the affirmative. He normally kept his personal to himself.

"I'd be happy with breathing at this point, Morgan."

"Jess was breathing." Julia whispered. "What happened there?"

"Eh, she's not my business." He answered. "Jayson said-"

"Hey, are we ready?" Chess called, coming at them with his coffee mug and Tavin trailing not far behind him.

"We are, yes. Karen wants to go out."

"Sure. Fine." He agreed, looking to the kitchen where his aunt stood ready with his gun and her coffee. "You stick with me then." He said to her. "It's not all about killing. You can watch how it's done."

"I know how to use a shank, Chester." She responded rather annoyed as she set the cup down.

"Ok, then." He grinned, heading to her side.

He and Karen head out the back door before anyone else even had a chance to follow. Julia and Jody stared at the closed door and chose to go through the front. This could have been better organized, Julia believed. She reminded Jody there were two on the porch and before they even got to them, Karen had them down on the ground. She killed like she was used to it and she moved faster than Chess did himself. She was cautious too. She mentioned, when all was said and done, that the zoms didn't fight back. She found them easier than the live targets, which she had come across during her incarceration. Julia and Jody didn't have very much to do as she and Chess exterminated their threat without having anyone else lift a finger.

"So much for stay with me." Chess laughed.

"I been dying to do that." She laughed back. "Feels good doesn't it, kid?"

"Oh, well, let's go get some target practice in. The field has some walkers you could shoot at. Would you like that?" Chess walked away with his aunt at his side and they head off around the house, leaving Jody and Julia on the porch.

"Well, Jody. I guess we will close the gate." She suggested, walking off the porch onto the steps.

"I suppose we could get rid of these bodies, too." He added, going the opposite direction to get gloves from the fence supplies.

"Um, you guys done already? Coulda let us know you were coming out, Julia."

"This was all Chess and Karen, Jayson. Me and Jody watched."

"True." Jody called, tossing an extra set of gloves toward Jay.

"They ain't burning. They're too wet." Jay said, pulling on gloves.

"Gotta get em outta here though."

"Carry on." Julia waved Jay over to Jody and the moving of the dead. She was not carrying dead bodies. She looked at Tavin. "You, come with me."

"Where we going, Red?" He asked as she led him to post one.

"We're gonna do a check. Look for more dead and any more breeches real quick, then head out to the field and assess the damage and then-"

He held up his hand at her. "Fine, you lead, I follow."

Just like old times minus the field fucking. "How about you lead and I follow, Tav?"

"Sure, Jules." He smiled.

The sound of gun fire from the pasture didn't bother any of them. Jay had woken the entire house and warned them that there would be gun fire. Stay inside. The majority of them all watched from the second floor through the windows.

"You alright, Tav? I know it's weird."

"I am, yeah. That's a good word for it." He agreed.

"I am worried about you."

"I just don't know what the fuck I am doing."

"Takes time, comes with experience. You will get there. Tavin, I expected too much from you from the beginning."

"You all act like I am supposed to know all this."

"We forget that you weren't here. It's hard remembering that. It's just as hard trying to live up to that. I'm sorry if that's what I was doing."

"I got some potential, Red. I need to figure out my own way." He laughed. "Know what surprises me, though? Jayson. He's so bossy and angry here."

"Welcome to zombie world." Julia agreed. She picked up her pace and rounded to the rear of the farm, past the field to the fence where she and Tavin speared and killed those that were on the spikes. Jay and Jody had the bodies loaded up and were waiting till the pasture was clear to continue there with the truck. They'd all load those bodies as well, then dispose of them in a burn pile when the land dried out or when the bodies dried out, whichever came first.

Chess and the dads were already at the fence when Julia and Tavin arrived there. As Jay and Jody lifted and stacked bodies in the truck bed, she and the men walked along the length of the fence and took in the extent of the damage the storm had caused. John suggested they leave the truck in the pasture and they could use it to pull the tree and the debris off the fence. They'd cut up the tree when that also dried out. They stood, the four of them, in a soaking late September rain and wind as they all opted to fix this mess when the rain stopped. Hopefully it would end before too long and being that there was no TV, no weather forecast, they would have to ride it out and wait.

"Wait?" Julia asked. "We can't do anything now?" She whined.

"Short of pulling the trees off this fence, which I would also advise against because the ground is soaked like a sponge, then I would say no." Cal answered.

No. Julia did not like the word no.

"The tree itself is a natural barrier. See how they got trouble getting through? Some make it and some don't."

"What I would do is make sure they do not get past that fence." John said, pointing across the field to the fence by the house. They'd broken through the fence and they had placed a gate there when they'd started to deforest the area for their fire wood. 

"I-uh-are you sure?" Julia asked. This idea made her nervous. Walkers wandering the pasture that close to her house and her people frightened her.

"Yes." Chess replied, soaked to the bone in his clothes.

"We have to pull another all nighter then? Um, how we watching the fence?   I don't want them near the house. So..." Julia's mind was churning, trying to think of their safety for the overnight hours. Daylight was a different story and they could use them as target practice for those who were inexperienced shooting.

"Julia, there's a lot of time till night fall. We will come up with something."

"But-"

"Julia, you heard what I said." Chess reminded her.

"Yes, Chess." She answered, shivering as the wind cut through her wet body.

"There is nothing you can do out here, Julia."

"I need to know-"

"I will remember." He raised his voice and he was not pleased with the prospect of having to do around the clock surveillance on the back yard. He struggled to see an upside to this morning drama or breech. Arguing with Julia didn't help and her defiance didn't help. "Food, woman. I am starving."

Julia's jaw dropped and as her mouth hung open, they all stood waiting for her to react. "I meant see if someone is making it. Please, Julia. We will take care of this."

"Oh, uh, fine. If there's anything-"

Chess gave her a wet and displeased look, one she had seen before and she turned on her heels and head back toward the house. As she passed through them no one could believe she backed down so easy.

"Chess, what the hell?" Jay asked.

"She's cold." He shrugged.

"You don't send her away."

"She heard the options." Chess shrugged. "What's she gonna do, Jay?"

"Don't fucking raise your voice at her. That's not cool."

"She raises hers." He retorted.

"So, this fence is on hold and that fence is the problem. We should move on to the fence that we can deal with today." Tavin announced bringing them back to the point. "Leave the truck out here. We'll need it tomorrow."

"Agreed." Chess nodded.

Cal, John, Tavin and Chess passed Jay and Jody who stood by the truck.

"He has always spoken with her like that." Jody told Jayson. "It's how they speak to each other."

"I don't like it."

Chess turned from his group and let them walk on ahead of him. "Do you have a problem? Today of all days, Jayson." Chess asked.

"I do not like the way you speak to her."

"Let her decide whether she likes how I speak to her, whether she can live with it or not."

"You don't dismiss her. You aren't at work."

"Think I-" Chess stopped and looked at Jody. "You, get outta here." Jody looked to Jay and then started walking away. When he was out of ear shot, Chess continued. "It feels like it. That's all this has been from day one, Jay. Every bore ass problem has come my way. Every fucking headache has been passed on to me. I'll speak with her the way I choose. You got no say. She left because she chose to leave, not because I told her to."

"I know exactly what's been passed on to you."

"Don't make this out to be something it's not. You're letting your personal interfere with this shit."

"How am I not supposed to take this personal? It's all personal, Chess."

"You wanna make it personal? I am not going to argue and fight with you about Julia. You shouldn't wanna take it there either. We decided that a long time ago."

Chess pulled and aimed his gun. "Move." Jay ducked and Chess fired over him, the bullet from his gun penetrated the approaching walker's skull. "Jay, I know you're immune, but pay some fucking attention."

"I knew you'd shoot it." He said calmly, standing back up.

"So, is this about Julia or is this about Morgan? They're two very different people."

"No they're not."

"You gotta look at it that way or it's not gonna work this time, Jay. It's how I do it."

Jay stared at him. "You see her as two different people?"

"At home, no. Here, definitely. I separate her in my head like that. It's necessary."

"She ask you to do that?"

"No. I have to. I didn't wanna be here in the first place. There was a time I would say I would stand anywhere she wants me. Now though, I didn't get a choice in the matter. The girls made that choice for me."

"They were scared."

"No, they were not. Jess maybe, but Julia was thinking survival. Julia took prisoners. She should have left us all at home and never came back. That's what they wanted. They thought you two were there in real time, not here. They didn't know. It all woulda died down, Jay. So are we gonna fight?"

"Like fist fight? No."

"Scared?"

"No. I will if I have to, but it's not all that serious, Chess."

"Good, another time. I really don't feel like half killing you today." He asked. "I wanna smoke and I am fucking hungry."

"Smokin' in the barn?"

"Yeah, let's roll one."

"Half killing me, huh? You think can take me like that?" He asked.

"Yes." Chess announced with confidence.

The closer they got to the house, they smelled breakfast cooking. The odor was appealing, but they wanted to smoke first.

"You done fighting, guys?" Julia asked as they passed through the yard to the barn.

"We don't fight about girls." Chess replied. "You clear the barn?" He asked as he and Jay moved forward.

"The barn is closed up." Julia answered. "So we didn't go in."

Chess and Jay armed as they pulled the doors open, each pulling a door and each ready for something or nothing. Nothing was what they found and they smoked together in peace till Julia joined them. She sat on a hay bale beside Jay and he passed to her.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked as she hit the joint.

"Our visitor won't leave me alone." She answered. She took another long drag and held it. She started coughing as she let the smoke exhale from her lungs. She passed back to Chess across from Jay.

"She crying?"

"Not that visitor." Julia rolled her eyes at Jay. "Julia's helping Kay with breakfast. She wants to pitch in and make a difference. I'm talking about Jesslyn."

"Shoulda seen that coming." Chess commented. "Why do think I didn't go there?"

"I told you, Jay."

"So what? What's the worst that could possibly happen?"

Julia and Chess turned their heads toward him when he asked that question. "You sacrificing my sanity, Jay?"

"Same page, Julia. Same page."

"She's reading ahead, Jay."

"Like you're not?" Chess laughed.

"I got fucking shit to do. I don't have time to-sorry. I shouldn't complain."

"By all means, please complain about all the fucking sex you're having." Chess said. "I can complain about all the sex I am not having."

"Maybe farmers daughter in there could help you out?" Julia laughed.

"That's a lot of time and effort, don't you think?"

"Where are all the apocalypse hoes at when you need em?" Julia asked, rising from her seat next to Jay. She head back to the house, leaving them smoke in peace.

"Gotta start rescuing the hoes, Chess."

"Where they at, Jay?"

"Let me know when you find them. Eventually they're all gonna get on our nerves. Remember?"

"Well, I didn't expect that." Chess chuckled. "I do remember someone saying something about new pussy and then when he got home, he stuck with old pussy."

"That's what Julia said." Jay shrugged. "I stick with what's comfortable. Moving out of the comfort zone lands me crazy bitches like Stef."

"Should I even ask how you got tangled up with her in the first place?"

"Pussy." He answered. "A booty call. That's it."

"And you devoted all that time to a booty call? Seriously?"

"She needed help and I helped her out and she helped me out. Even trade till she tried killing me. She was nuts, man."

"What's her address? Know where she is cause I like nuts. I like that a lot."

"Dude, you were in her place."

"Now, where though? Where did you leave psycho?"

"Maverick. Clayton and Brook in the old mansion with the two fire places. Go tap that, it's worth the ride."

"Really, Jay?"

"Best pussy ever."

"How many have you had tho, Jay? I'm trusting your assessment of-"

"Tavin agreed. Would you rather hear it from him?"

"Awe, come on why on earth did he do that?"

"Uh, it was something that happened before the lab. He infected her in the first place. They fucking go to meetings together. She told me thinking I would be all pissed off."

Chess quieted down and let the conversation fizzle. He had always assumed that they all knew everything about each other, too much, but what they did know only scratched the surface. He doubted he'd be out on the street tracking down Stef or anyone else anytime soon. Jay's view on Stef as he talked about her, Chess found amusing. Crazy, psycho, bipolar, alcoholic and sexy as fuck had been his exact words. Opposite of that, he also described her as overly emotional, needy, and whiny.

They head inside for breakfast and Chess made it his mission to track down the brother and interrogate him on Stef. He only mentioned her name and Tavin looked at him like he was summoning up a demon. He hushed him at the mention of Stef's name. Tavin swatted at him as he pulled him out of the dining area and into the living room. "Never say her name again." He looked uncomfortable.

"Jay knows."

"Kell doesn't." He replied. "Look, she's a nut. When Julia says stay away from someone, you should listen. Cause she is just insane."

"Worse than Julia?"

"100 times, yeah." He nodded. "Listen, I am used to girls saying they are down to fuck and when they say it, I usually am the one who winds up doing all the fucking. Not this one. This one, though, Chess, is amazing. One of the few who I can truly say fucked me."

He paused and looked around. "So Jay's not lying when he said-"

"He is not a liar, first of all and about this girl, everything he said good or bad is true. She is an obsessive little thing. Don't do it unless you can devote the time to it. If I didn't have Kell and Tarin, I would still be there and she parties too. She's a drinker, she's into drugs. She's absolutely the best fun a man can have and then some."

"He said she's like Julia, though."

"Julia got nothing on this one. Even at Julia's best, weirdest, craziest and most extreme...this one is...not better, but different." He stepped away. "That's a warning, Chess."

Chess had a plate ready for him made by young Julia. As Kay cooked, Julia doled out food and she stood talking with the original Julia quietly. Their day was supposed to have started differently. Julia had plans for herself and her clone. He had planned on getting Kay and Katherine home. He stood to the side with Kay and watched her cook. She seemed comfortable in Luz's kitchen. It smelled fantastic.

"Kay, you seeing anybody?" He asked. He chose to be up front about it.

"Why do you ask?" She questioned him quickly.

"Well, um," He thought fast. "You got anyone to help you now that you dad's gone?"

"It's just me and Kay now, Chess." She replied, setting down her utensils on the block in the center of the kitchen.

"Did you eat, Kay?" He asked.

She shook her head.

"Eat. Sit." He said. "I'll get you a plate. What would you like?"

"Nothing thanks." She answered. "You all have done enough for us."

"Well, the stay includes food and since you made this...this is really good by the way." He complimented her. "So, um would you like to stay or would you like me to take you home now or what would you like?"

"We cannot stay here." She looked away from him. She looked at his family, the small group of well fed people who gathered at the table across the room from them. "Thank you for everything. For helping Katherine. If we hadn't found each other yesterday, I would be lost without her."

"If we had not found each other, I would have looked for her family. We would have together, me and Katherine. And if we didn't find anyone, we would have taken care of her."

Kay smiled as he spoke. "Thanks."

"It's how we are and you two are not alone out there any more than you were before. Understand?"

"I can't ask you to do anything more than you have already done." She responded softly. She then stepped away from the kitchen and separated herself from him.

Pride? Chess wondered, watching her walk away. He let her go and he finished eating his breakfast.

"Would you like some more, Chess?" Julia asked, approaching him with a smile. She touched his arm, then took his plate. Her touch sent little electric sparks through his forearm. He jumped a bit.

"No, thanks, Jules."

"You ok?"

"Yeah, you shocked me." He answered, rubbing his arm.

"No, I didn't." She giggled.

He felt it sure as day, but he wasn't about to argue with her. He'd learned it wasn't a good idea over the years. He figured the same of this one. Julia always needed to be right. It was a personality trait, one of those quirks in life that carried over from Julia to Julia. Julia...he moved away from her. He didn't need her shocking him anymore. That touch would drive him nuts.

He found Kay upstairs in the kids' room. She stood in front of the window and looked over the field. He looked out as well and scanned for walkers. None, but the storm had let up. They would straggle through eventually and then they'd have to go back out.

"I didn't mean to upset you." He said. "You may need someone one day. You should know I'm here. We all are."

Kay was quiet.  "So, what do you want from me?"

"Nothing, Kay." He answered. "Maybe a pie. Can you bake?"

"I certainly can. What kind?" She laughed as her tears rolled over her cheeks.

"Eh, surprise me."

He stood and talked with Kay awhile, looking the whole time out over the farm. This view was so common place to him. So very different for her. She was a soft spoken and nice girl. A teenager. He was a teenager running through the apocalypse once too. She'd lost her entire family and he could understand how that felt, because the first round he had lost everyone as well. That's how these people became family and this house became a home. Conditions had changed and circumstances were different. He felt just as lost this time as he did the last time only for different reasons. He didn't sense the bond this time. Maybe that would pass?

"How old are you, Chess?"

"20." He answered.

"You seem older."

"I been told." He replied. "So do you."

Kay said she had no choice in the matter. As the oldest she took over for her mother when she passed away. She had been bit during the first week of the plague, as she called it. She died within hours of that bite. They'd been driving in from Ohio when they were caught in a horde. They'd stopped for sleep and when her parents were outside the car, her mother got the bite that would end her life. Chess had been under the impression that Kay was farm raised and she was not. She'd led a suburban life in Ohio, but nothing like the farm where they wound up. Her father had left the farm life, had an education and was a teacher in a middle school in Ohio. His family owned that farm and he had grown up working on it and knew the way of life. He had chosen to leave it for his own reasons and he chose to return to it when he realized like a lot of others that civilization was about to meet its destruction. They needed to get as far away from the city and suburbs as possible. Kay's family arrived with a dying mother to a farm that housed her uncle and his family as well as her grandfather. She hadn't been to that farm in a couple years, but she would spend time over the summers there in her childhood. All the sisters did. They knew how things worked and they knew the routine of farm life. The transition was not hard at first, but as the family gradually disappeared on various supply runs or accidents or succumbed to infection, they dwindled to just her father and the three sisters.

"So the dresses-" Chess grinned.

"Were already on the farm. We left with very little. We left in summer. We left with no heavy clothes and no warm clothing. Summer I do not look like this." She frowned, fluffing the length of the floral dress that hung a little loose on her. "The hats, though, are cute."

"You are not Amish?"

"No more than you." She answered. "Traditional. I like that word."

"Well, you're nice. I like you."

"You're not so bad yourself." She smiled. "So you driving us home?"

"I can make some time for that. You got some important things to do or what?"

"Not in particular, no. But we're just in the way here. You have a lot going on out there." She folded her arms on the window sill and leaned over.

"Been one problem after another lately."

"What is worse than a world ending infection?"

"This isn't my first world ending infection."

Chess gave her a little bit on his back ground. He gave her a rundown of the people that he lived with and how they all knew each other. He told her about work. He told her about the team that set out to save the world, stopping the spread of this infection one incident at a time.

"That's great though, Chess."

"See how it worked out." He lamented, pointing to the breech in the fence as one of the dead passed through. "How do you keep them out?"

"You'll see. It's nothing like this." She answered. "Hey, go to work. You take us when you can."

"Not work anymore. This is life, Kay."

"This is everyone's life. I could help."

"Nah, I got this."

"From the sounds of it you got a lot to worry about."

"Come get to know us." He smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Trust me, Kay. We don't bite."

He took Kay back to the first floor and he left her with the family as he and Jay went outside to deal with the next group of death that had entered the pasture. He and Jay spent the afternoon in the field sitting on the hood of the truck in rain that ranged from drizzle to downpour.

"This shit fucking sucks." Chess complained. "I am serious, Jayson. I am not a happy, man." Chess raised the weapon and fired at the latest trespassers.  "Did you ever think we would wind up back here doing this?" Chess was not much of a talker anymore, but he felt a rant coming on. There weren't many people he ranted to. Usually he wound up beating Julia's ear with a middle of the night phone call and even then he would be drunk. Since Jay sat to his left, he was the lucky one. "Where's your girlfriend now?" He asked, thinking she would usually be loving this. She always loved sitting in the middle of this zombie drama.

"You sent her in the house cause she was cold. Said we'd handle it." Jay reminded him. "What do you expect?"

"Know what I fucking think, Jayson?"

"What's that?"

"We need to act out phase fucking one right fucking now." He yelled. "She's talking about running phase two from this place, why don't we phase one and then phase two? Isn't that doing shit backwards?"

"She's doing what we asked her to do, you know. She ain't supposed to be doing any of this. It's supposed to be an easy year. It's supposed to be fucking fun and we're supposed to plan and chill, Chess."

"You put her back in charge with your speech, Jay."

"I know, because it's the way it should be. We shouldn't be phasing anything. She's supposed to be taking time."

"Aren't you supposed to be taking time too? Both of you lost the kid, Jay."

"Well, I don't think that is the priority right here and now." Jay raised his gun and shot the approaching death between the eyes.

"You're a pretty good shot."

"I'm good at a lot of things."

"No one said you weren't, Jay. Man, what is your problem today?"

"There's a million things I'd rather fucking do."

"I hear that."

Julia heard the sporadic gunfire. Jess had her against her bedroom door and she wanted more to be outside than inside at that moment. "Jess, hurry, baby girl. I got shit to do." Jess on her knees, her head between Julia's parted legs.

"I think your marine can handle a few dead." She looked up with a devilish grin and reapplied her tongue on her already sensitive clit.

"Fuck, Jess. You're so good at that." Julia groaned, distracted and watching as her head moved between her legs. "Baby girl, my place is out there." She groaned as Jess sent shivers through her body. Jess fingers worked inside her, twisting and turning as she tightened around her delicate strokes. She'd forgotten what Jess felt like pleasing her. She'd forgotten her touch and the feel of her mouth on her body.

"Come to me, Jules." She cooed, her voice so light and happy as she pulled her waist.

Julia lowered to face her on her knees. She kissed her. "Jess, today is not the day for this." Julia whined, kissing Jess's neck. Her hands roamed around her soft white skin, settling on her ass and pulling her against her body. "Jess, baby, we have to do this later?"

"I want you, Julia."

"Honey, I know, believe me, I know, but there's things happening today and-"

"Ok, later." She smiled.

Julia separated from her former girlfriend. She yanked her jeans over her bare ass cheeks and hopped onto her feet. Jess stayed on her knees in front of her, smiling and happy. Later...Julia groaned inwardly...later. Julia affixed the tools of the zombie trade to her waist and finally in dry clothes she head out to the field where Jay and Chess sat soaking wet on the hood of the old ford truck. She couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but they appeared to be bickering. Julia climbed in the truck bed and then over the cab to the hood and she slid down between the two of them.

"Where you been, Jules?"

"Jesslyn." A simple one word answer was all she provided and she believed all the response she needed.

"Awe, come on." Chess whined. 

"Finally got away from her." She looked at Chess and then looked at Jay. "I'm sorry. I know I should have been here." Neither said a word. "You know I love this shit."

"We know." Jay nodded.

"Hey, um, why are we shooting them exactly? You got your knives."

"Cause we're lazy this time, Julia." Chess responded annoyed with her.

"Ok. I am sorry though."

"You in love already?" Chess asked, lighting a cigarette. The rain had let up enough to finally do it and smoke without it being moistened by rain drops.

"I have no feelings for her." Julia answered, shaking her head. "I broke that off a long time ago."

"You liar. You feel nothing?"

"I felt something." She snickered, taking a drag off the cigarette as he held it up to her mouth. "Love, not exactly."

Julia couldn't understand why Jess was so emphatic about her after all this time. How much memory could she possibly have of their relationship? Maybe it was their environment? Julia could see the doomsday romance aspect of the budding infatuation, but overall, she felt confident in regards to her survival. Jay sat quietly as Julia and Chess bantered back and forth about Jess, about their afternoon in the rain. They spoke to each other with a cool comfort that not many people had. Chess gave her the run down on Kay and her home life. The fact that her family had traveled from as far as Ohio to Lancaster, Pa with only losing one person was a miracle. How they'd navigated through the first days and nights was, as Chess described, luck. Kay wasn't real forthcoming with the memories and Chess sensed she didn't want to go there or she didn't want to remember. Could have been a touch of both. He understood entirely. He'd also lost people during that transition from normal life to nightmare. For the most part they all agreed it eased up. Those who were strong or smart or quick survived.

As the afternoon waned on, the sun peeked through the clouds and started shining down on them. Julia pointed it out. "There it is, boys." She grinned, feeling really good to have the late September sun's rays on her face. They sat quietly a while and waited for the world to dry out. They surveyed the fence and Chess had the dads outside after lunch, which Kay also prepared. "You sure we can't at least pull that tree off and try to sure that fence up? I don't wanna spend the night out here. I been awake all night."

"Maybe you shoulda taken a nap instead of fucking Jesslyn." Chess suggested with a hint of animosity.

"Chess, I am complaining, but I will fuckin do it."

"I'll fucking do it." Chess muttered.

"Rotate." Jay said quietly. He suggested they spend the night rotating this unfortunate assignment. Until that fence was repaired and secured, they'd rotate this post and they'd do it out of necessity if for no other reason. He suggested Julia get in her notebook and figure out a schedule or they could just do it as they pleased, but there would have to be two of them at all times. Jay had spoken, Julia and Chess stared at him like he had just given them the cure for cancer. He was giving them information they already knew. His mood was quite off putting. Not his usual temperament.

They did as planned and rotated this assignment. Jody and Karen went out first when darkness fell over them again. Then while they watched the perimeter, the others who had been up for excruciating long hours napped and some slept. Alex and Tavin followed Jody and Karen. Then the next crew arrived, relieved them and the night moved on slowly, dragging. Alex updated Julia as to how many were in the field and they would deal with them in the morning.

Jay's mood continued on and as he and Julia laid down for a clip, he was distant with her. "What is your issue, Jayson?"

"I don't like this." He sighed. "Chess and me got into it."

"About?"

"What else is there to get into, me and him?" He replied as if he were giving her new news.

"Why? Is there a problem?" She laid down on her bed and waited for Jay as he took off his boots and he laid beside her. Both in clothes and ready for the next round.

Jay monotoned his conversation with Chess, how Chess had separated himself and isolated himself purposefully. All the bodies, the usual suspects under one roof was nerve wracking and depressing. Not only was Chess under a lot of stress, he was alone and on top of that, lonely. He didn't have the close knit bond like he felt before. He didn't have the connection and he felt left out even though he volunteered to be left out. The relationships under the roof at the time were all stressed. Even though they faced no zombie apocalypse at home, they had dealt with some fairly rough experiences. Chess and his work, the end of his marriage, the changing faces of the new relationships he'd forged. He had a life and she held him hostage.

"We can survive without him. I can take him home. We can jump before he even realizes what's going on." She offered Jay that much, knowing all the while he'd decline and so would Chess. Chess wasn't jumping anywhere as he felt a strong responsibility to these people, this home. This had been his purpose once and it would always be his purpose. Keeping his crew alive came before any other life he led. Chess viewed his loyalty as a fault as opposed to a bonus this time around.

Jay was moody still, complaining about going through the motions. He'd spent too much time away from all this and he was grateful for being away from all of it. He'd lived it, believed beyond hope that it was all over. Having this zombie world looming in their future at home was depressing. More depressing than the life he led. And that's what the farmhouse amounted to, misery. A depressing existence. The new normal was the old normal and that would last forever. He saw this as a dark beginning to an eventually darker end. How would they find happiness there? How would they forge ahead and manage to get along with each other after all the tension that had been building over the last few years? The animosity and the anger and the hurt feelings. Whatever good had come of it was dwindling.

As Jay rambled, as Julia listened in earnest, Ray dropped in and laid on the bed across the room. He lay quietly, pensively and Julia wondered if he knew he'd started the dose of meds that Tavin had prescribed. She doubted one dose or two would make a difference at this early stage of the game, but she had hope. She lay there in the quiet of her room with the guys and she thought that she was the only one who had any faith at all. Faith that things would eventually go their way. There was that inevitable period of adjustment that they had to hurdle when they transitioned from home to the flipside. As Julia hurdled that obstacle herself a couple times, having gone from the flipside to home after rallying from illness. She'd traveled, she adjusted. It took time. Jayson knew this as this was not new information. Their initial overnight in zombie world after the birth of Caroline had proven that. Jay had been moody since then. Occasionally he'd perk up and loosen up for her. Usually it was alone at night in the privacy of their room. She'd be working on one plan or another, head in one notebook or another and he'd sit with her and read over her shoulder, talking softly and speckling her skin with soft kisses. Those times when they could close out the world and entertain themselves was what she lived for and looked forward to. Sitting alongside of him, blocking out the world around them, waiting on the future to start and talking about the past. She waited a few weeks for him to bring up the past. She was wondering when it would happen. It was too good to be true. She realized that all she'd done affected him and if he chose to be moody, then he was allowed. If he chose to bring up the past and be abrupt with her about it, then he could. She wondered why he chose this day of all days.

"Cause I don't like the way he fucking talked to you." Jay answered. A simple and honest answer. He didn't like the bossy tone of voice and what bothered him more than anything was that she listened and heeded him and then submitted to him. She chose to walk away when told. She chose to do as he said.

"Cause he was right, Jay." She replied. Chess knew her well. Jay knew her well. Would this entire ordeal amount to a battle of who knew her the best?

"I wanted to fuck him up, Julia. You let him speak to you like a little kid."

"It is how we speak." She shrugged.

"It is." Ray spoke up from his spot across from them. "It's like they're mean to each other."

Julia heard that a million times from so many various souls who had crossed their paths. They admitted this openly that they spoke crossly to each other. They had their own special kind of communication. It may have been crude, but the point always got across loud and clear so there were no mixed signals. Julia felt it easier to communicate like that. She felt it was simple yet effective even if it was crude. Often harsh. But alone they spoke so much differently to each other.

"I have learned when to fight with him and when not to fight with him. That was a pick your battle moment."

"This is gonna be a rough year, babe."

"For all of us." She agreed, curling up against his side. "Can you talk to Jess please?" She asked since he was bringing up sensitive subjects.

"And tell her what?"

"To back off me."

"You let her do as she pleases." He answered, putting an arm around her.

"I have said my peace to Jess and putting us back in that position isn't fair. It's about us not-"

"Julia, let her be."

Let her be. Julia repeated in her head. Let her be.

"I'm sleepy for some reason." Ray offered suddenly, arousing Julia and Jay's attention as they drifted off to sleep. "I feel tired. I slept all night though."

"Take a nap, Ray. We'll go on watch later, ok."

Over the course of the next few days, in addition to their other work, the men rebuilt and reinforced the fence, securing their land from the threats of the dead. They were tired and worn and stressed. Some in the same clothes for a couple days. They felt dirty and overworked. Their dads were the ones who pitched in the most and worked the hardest, constructing Tom's vision and renewing it. There would be no phase one and Julia had spoken with Chess and they determined they wouldn't be taking on any phase two either. Neither seemed interested. Jody on the other hand found their decision to be an overwhelming disappointment.

"How much work do you want me to do, Jody? I am already planning about three different things."

"Well, I thought you'd at least want to explore the idea." He sounded disappointed and voiced his opinion to her, she should lead a constructive life. She shouldn't hole up, sitting behind a desk under a mountain of paper. He reminded her there was a big world out there and there were people along the lines of Kay and Katherine in similar situations who needed or may need help.

"Should I be the one to give it? Wanna have a town meeting?"

Jody seemed to like that idea. He suggested she take a page from her own book and pick her battle. "This is a battle worth waging." He thought.

Julia let them rest and let them all take a few days to catch their breath from the fence rebuild. When the work was complete, they all about collapsed into bed and slept well through the night. Hours passed unconscious to the world for all of them, including Ray who started to at the very least develop a normal sleep pattern. A week on meds made a world of difference to him and to all of them. His thoughts cleared up. His delusions were not as strong and he was most of all less suspicious of Jayson.

Jay suggested he start sleeping in his own bed in his own cubby in the addition. He also suggested that if his mentality improved, then possibly he could be brought back to the table in a functional capacity. Though even when Ray was at his most delusional and fraught with irrational thoughts and ideas, he was helpful and useful. He could gradually assume more responsibility. He would improve and those who were in the know on the meds marveled at his improvement as well as those who were not in the know. Ray was returning to a new normal, one that they hadn't seen since he had returned from school at the end of the spring semester. A good portion of Julia's pregnancy had been spent with Ray and his OCD behaviors to keep the men in black away. She'd fallen victim to his mind and had become so wrapped up in it. She was glad the meds worked as she could finally breathe a sigh of relief, a weight was off her shoulders as it was off Chess's. Seeing his brother go through that had been hard on him, but he felt some guilt for having subjected Julia to the madness.

"I am used to madness, my Chess." She whispered as she stacked the kindling beneath the chunks of wood in her fire pit. "Glad I could help him. I wanted to."

"Thank you." He said, sitting at the fire pit across from her a safe distance. He had to remember personal space. He found it difficult to remember personal space as she leaned over her pit. They spent so many nights next to each other at this charred, stone encircled fire pit that it stirred up memories for him, feelings that he forgot about or let slip away like the time had slipped away between then and now.

"Wanna smoke?" She asked.

"I did. Let's wait for the others." He replied, moving closer to the fire. The late September chill got to him despite the hoodie and the layer of clothes beneath it.

"Oh, sure." She said. "What is wrong, Chess?" She whispered.

"Seeing you next to this fire makes me wanna hold you. That's what the fuck is wrong." He answered, then let it drop. He wasn't about to start that melodramatic nonsense that plagued his cousin. Jay did feelings and emotion. Chess did not.

"I'm sorry." She frowned.

"So am I, Julia. So am I." He reached into his pocket and he pulled out the ring she loved so much. "See this?" He asked.

"Yeah, I see you pulled it out of the bottle."

"Fuck that fuckin ring." He said, sounding sad, holding up her ring. He tossed it in the flames as they kicked up between them. She gasped from the shock, unsure of how to react exactly. He had tossed it like it didn't matter. How was she not supposed to care?

"Why, Chess?" She asked as she watched the flames swallow up her ring. Their ring. Tears formed in her eyes and she sat back on her heels, kneeling by the pit. "Why?" She asked again. "You can't take that back, you know."

"I realize that." He nodded. "I been carrying it around again. It's stupid."

"But-"

"There is no us." His voice cracked a little. "This is where it started and this is where it ends."

"Don't hate me, Chess."

"I do not hate you."

She had a hard time believing it as he had just done the unspeakable. She instantly regretted ever telling him where she had hidden it in the first place. He picked up the bottle of hooch, the last one. He removed the lid, took a big gulp, then reapplied the lid. He tossed the bottle over the pit to her.

"Chess, that was unnecessary and cruel."

"Your specialty." He muttered, catching the bottle as she tossed it back over the flames. She didn't want to drink. "You afraid to drink, Julia?"

"No. I don't want to. I make the choice not to."

Chess stood with the bottle of hooch. "I am leaving." 

"Don't leave. I'm sorry, Chess. I'm doing the best I can."

"Not good enough." Chess looked hurt and sad. "Hey, when I go check on Kay and Cass in the morning, I'm not coming back. I'm gonna see what's out there."

"No. Don't do this to me. You cannot leave." She argued with him, but he turned and he walked away. He didn't look back or listen or try to hear a word she had to say. He hit the steps of the addition and he opened the door.

"Chess, don't walk away from me, from us, all of us."

He turned on the steps. "What do you want from me, Julia? I got nothing. I been thinking about it since we got back here."

"Will you come back?" She asked, starting to cry. "Are you like leaving forever or for a while or what?"

"I'll drop by. Geeze, I ain't going far. I can't be here."

"No." She sounded like a protesting two year old. He stared at her.

He laughed, taking another step up. "Fuck you for putting me second and fuck you for thinking it's cool to do it." He mumbled. "Jay got your back, Julia."

CHAPTER NINE-JULIA FRY

The fence was a really big deal. This fence had been brought down in a couple spots. She could clearly see that as she looked through the window in the kids' room. That tree not too far off from the willow had come down. A short distance from that a large branch had dropped as well, breaking the fence beneath. Julia looked over the expanse of land that sprawled behind the farmhouse. Empty field to the left behind the barn and coop. Another smaller empty field to the right of it and behind the still and the outhouse. To the far right, an area that was fenced in that everyone called either the field or the pasture. A relatively newer fence had been constructed around that open expanse of land. Julia had seen Jayson with his horses on that land. He let the kids play out there while he was out and he threw a ball back and forth with them, let them run and play among the old tree stumps and the flattened earth. She'd heard there used to be trees there, an extension of the woods adjacent to the farm, and they'd used the trees there to heat their home, cook their food.

She watched in awe as the men and a couple of the women, Julia and Karen, were outside in that field. The first day was just the worst. Sounds of bullets as they fired at and took down deathly trespassers. She watched as they killed them, gathered the bodies and then loaded them in a truck bed. She watched as the bodies were driven off to an area outside their fence and piled high. A few days later, she watched as Jayson and Chess burned the corpses. No one buried anyone anymore. No one paid final respects or had a service and that made her sad. People, forgotten and burned to ash.

They didn't tell her to leave, but she could see that her presence disturbed them both. As he and Chess tossed the bodies from the truck bed, Julia looked on and stood behind the safety of the fence and the spikes. She climbed a couple slats of fencing and peered into the burn circle. They had done this before, the earth beneath the corpses was blackened, the odor horrendous and she didn't understand how they could tolerate it. As Jay would later explain, he had no choice. Chess was the one that doused them with the accelerant and then lit them ablaze. The stench worsened as the flames met dead flesh, clothes, bone, and whatever else was left to rot inside the dead. She watched as the black and gray smoke curled upward into the afternoon sky.

Julia's curiosity made her stay even though everything inside her told her to leave. Inside the confines of the fence at that farm house she felt safe in doing so. She wanted to know about the dead despite her fear. She wanted to watch as they were killed. She wanted to watch as they walked and moved and reached for the living. She sat in awe through out the whole days long ordeal and memorized their awkward movements, their contorted faces, their mangled and sometimes already broken bodies. She could look inside a human cadaver and see the wonder of its internal landscape. It fascinated her from her standpoint. She gazed at their bodies as they surrounded the trespassers, how they wedged knives through what was left of flesh and through the bones of the skull. Would she like to be the one in the field? Would she like to be the one who gave the dead their final blow that ended their march across the land in an attempt to quell the hunger and feed? Yes, she answered herself. She wanted to learn how, but she was scared. She balked at the thought of doing that on her own, she doubted she had any ability of that killing nature. But deep inside stirred a twinge of desire to jump out there and help. They made it look easy.

She'd heard them at home. She listened as they scraped along the siding on her house trying to get to her. Some nights she barricaded herself into a room upstairs and she prayed she'd stay alive to see morning. She listened as they moaned and walked along her street. She listened as the first days and first nights passed to screams of the living as they died and fought to stay alive. The dead had no time clock, they marched and moved forward, an army of dead. She dared not leave the house. She would sneak glimpses of the outside world through the blinds in Ellen's office and if she saw a living person, she hid. She hid more from the living than she did the dead. Careful to avoid eyes seeing her in her home, she kept herself hidden and out of sight. She didn't want trouble from anyone or anything. She waited, hoping that one day soon her dad would come to get her. She prayed that her family had survived in the quarantine, although unlikely, and that they would all reunite. She was tired of being alone, surviving on canned goods. Her appetite lacked for cold canned food and she ate only to stay alive, not for pleasure of eating. She'd nearly worked up the nerve to leave, go in search for the ones she cared about, who cared for her. She had gone as far as packing a bag. She'd gone as far as the front door and she chickened out.

The different world that set outside her window was one she didn't recognize, one she didn't wish to participate in. Maybe I should have stayed with them at the quarantine? Her father had insisted she leave with his friend. She didn't wish to do so, but she was ordered to do as much by her father. She was left out of a sedan at her curb and she made her way inside the house and that's where she stayed until Chess arrived and found her hiding in her crawlspace beside the cellar door exit. She'd long barricaded that basement door to the outside world, but he'd found her from the inside after touring her room. He confessed he'd been looking for vodka.

"I don't drink."

That statement alone gave him a sly grin and he didn't believe her, but the Chess who shined his flashlight on her was not the Chess she knew or recognized as her brother and sister's cousin. He was not the Chess that walked the halls at Mav West who hung out with his friends on the weekend getting high and drunk. This Chess was older, grown, mature. This Chess was reserved, soft spoken and she didn't hesitate to speak or come from hiding to him. The other, she'd have asked to leave. The Chess she knew was mean, he bullied people. In fact he scared her. Sure, he was great with her brother and sister when he saw them and the kids had always said he was fun and he played with them and he took them to the park with Jayson once in awhile. But on a personal level he was a stoned waste of time.

"No, seriously, Jules. Where's the bottle?" He asked before they'd left the house.

She ignored Chess Morgan like she would on any other day of her life and left with her dad to a minivan in her driveway. She met Karen Keller. How Karen Keller had wound up with her father again was a mystery. Julia had always seen a wild streak in her and there may have been a time when her dad liked that wild streak and even had one of his own. But lately he'd settled with Ellen. He'd stopped drinking so heavy and he made a new life for them and Ellen and Andy. As she squeezed into the minivan in the back seat between Karen and Cal, she observed Chess's parents in the front seats. True to form, Sandy was half drunk, but that hour of the morning was early even for her. They all said hello despite being overcome with a sentiment of confusion. Where had Julia come from and why?

Oh, wait till she sees this...Karen Keller had said. She was a woman of few words and even fewer kind words. Julia saw her as the whore, a wild and bar bred female who had broken up her parents marriage around the time she had conceived Alexander. Broken families make for new families and Cal and Karen lived together on and off till shortly before Tatia was born. Once her mom died, Julia had moved in with all of them. She and Karen kept their distance and Julia was as nice as she could be under the circumstances, but living with and spending time with the woman who ended her parent's marriage was never what she had planned on doing. Having her in the van brought up a lot of hard memories of the mom she lost. She cried on the drive from home to this farm house, unsure and anxious. All of this seemed so unclear and so scary. These people, she knew them and they knew her, but it all seemed off kilter. Strange things happen when the world ends and she believed anything was possible.

The farmhouse looked relatively small from the outside, but it was roomy enough. There was an add on of rooms, which extended back off the house. That explained where all these people slept. All these familiar faces and all these strange faces was unnerving. It wasn't until she sat down with her dad at that long family table that he explained their current situation. There was another Julia altogether. In fact there was another everyone and all the people she was staring at were individuals that were brought there from a different time and place. A place Chess had called the flip side.

Chess introduced those unfamiliar to her. She had no idea who Kelly and Jess truly were. She may have seen them in passing at school, but to recognize them and know their names, she couldn't recall. Alexander was older, mature. He was the same sweet brother, he seemed to know her. Her own brother was younger, boyish, playful and shy. This one was a tougher character, shaggy hair, wearing all black and he was a moody kid. A teenager. She met his girlfriend, Julia, too. Tatia was definitely a surprise. Coming up on 7, she had aged so much and appeared so different that none of what she saw or heard made any sense. She convinced herself it was a dream until she met Jayson. Wow, she thought, looking him over. If he could look anymore handsome...her heart skipped a beat when she saw him as it always had. He stood tall, relaxed, surprised at the sight of the visitor who'd accompanied his cousins from Maverick.

"Jules," he nodded. His deep voice sent the butterflies swirling and she blushed, finding it difficult to hold back her physical reaction to the boy she'd been crushing on since sixth grade.

"Hi, Jayson." She smiled, her tears ceasing as he spoke and reinforced what the others had told her. He had a way of making her feel comfortable. He always had been a kind person. He prodded her for information, asking the most questions, seeking to understand her journey alone in the zombie world they lived in now. The others had told her, but Jayson explained this all to her in a way she believed. She wanted to believe this kid. She sat beside him a long while and they talked at the table while the others either listened or occupied themselves. He gave her a little tour of their house and he showed her where everything was and this Jayson, he talked about Julia.

"So, you and Jay together here or no?" Jay asked curiously, showing her around the upstairs. They were in their room. Julia's notebooks and her stuff all around them. Maps tacked to the walls that seemed new for several states and one really old and worn map of Pennsylvania. It had been written on numerous times in pencil and then erased. Its wear and tear visible as she studied the places they'd been and the path they'd taken. Julia stood at the dresser and she picked up the bottle of Juicy Couture perfume. She sniffed it, spritzed the scent on herself and set it down again. It was her favorite perfume.

Julia shook her head, "No, Jayson. We are not." She swooned as she thought of that idea. So handsome, so sweet and such a good...brother. Like a brother. They'd been raised with each other more or less their entire lives and as both grew, he moved around with Tavin here and there and everywhere. Those two stuck together like glue. They never separated. As far as brothers go, they were the model of brotherhood. They'd been on their own since Tavin turned 18. He pulled the kid out of whatever relatives house he lived in at the time and took him with him. Prior to that they were always close. Julia didn't see much of Tavin through the years. The first kids and the second batch mixed, but extended family, Tavin didn't much care for. Handsome, yes, but Tavin Keller had a bad attitude and she never took to him. He didn't pay her five minutes of attention or interest through the years and when they did see each other it was usually when they were picking up or dropping off the younger ones, Alex and Tatia. She learned they all lived under the same roof, knew each other very well and Julia wondered exactly how well as Jay's mood changed when he spoke of them, his brother and Julia.

"So, you got a boyfriend here? Who you with?" He asked.

Julia wondered why the curiosity. Chess? Never, she balked at the idea. "I have a boyfriend." She answered softly. A boyfriend she hadn't seen since the world fell apart and odds were he was probably out meandering the countryside as a zom. He was never tough or strong enough to fight anyone. A weak kid, but nice. She twisted the ring around her finger, which Jay had noticed.

"Is it serious, Jules?" He asked, looking at the ring.

"Um, I- uh- we don't-"  She stammered over her words as usual when she spoke with him. "Serious? No, I'm 17." She had taken the ring so she wouldn't have to do anything too sexual with him. She was saving herself for the boy who stood in front of her. As if that would ever happen...she thought...especially now...probably never, just like always. Julia always fashioned herself a romantic at heart. She spent so much time attention seeking from him. She should have just said something and then things may have been different. The one time he did make a pass at her, she froze up. She always regretted that.

She hadn't been dreaming that afternoon and she lost the one chance she had at anything with him. But he was so pushy and he didn't necessarily want to talk either. That day he dropped the kids off at her house...he stood closer than usual...he complimented her outfit...told her she smelled good...touched her, only brushing fingers over hers as he reached for her hand. His other hand had touched her face ever so lightly and he had leaned over her to kiss her and she gasped, jumped, pulled back. He totally caught her off guard and unsuspecting. She had never kissed anyone before and she was nervous, unsure. Of all the times she'd played that scenario out in her head, it had never happened that way, so suddenly and so...strange. He backed off her and never tried again. No matter how close she stood near him again or how many times she made sure she looked extra cute if he was stopping by, he never looked at her the same way again. Fate had given her a chance and she had ruined it.

"You alright?" Jody asked, dragging her mind away from the memory.

She stood near the fence, watching yet another funeral pyre burn high and furious. The flames disintegrated the dried out carcasses in front of her. He leaned on the fence at her side and watched along with her.

"Yes, Jody." She answered. As the bodies charred, her eyes moved to Jay and she thought about the way he worked hard there and the way he helped everyone. Her eyes drifted over the lanky, fit body, taking in the way he moved and the way his face changed when he spoke to Chess. She pulled the promise ring from her finger and she threw it the few yards as hard as she could toward the fire. That ring was a memory now. As she looked at Jayson again, she wanted to go back to that day in her living room when he reached for her, but it was an impossibility.

Jody observed the way she observed Jay and he wondered whether this kid was honest when she said nothing was going on between them there on the flip side. They knew each other fairly well and their circumstances were different, but this short red head at his side seemed to look a little too hard and a little too long at someone she considered a brother. Jody swore he knew better, whether she just had simple school girl crush or whether they were more was up in the air.

Julia climbed down from the slats on the fence, taking her eyes off Jayson. She stood before Jody, all 4 foot 10 of her and she looked up and then away toward the house.

"I can walk you back." He offered with a friendly smile.

Jody Mayers...Julia thought, admiring his sweet smile. "No, thanks. I think I can manage." She replied, declining that offer as thoughts of Jayson still permeated her mind. What was she saving herself for now? Who was she saving herself for? She felt sad, removed from any life that seemed normal. What was normal now? What was in her future other than sneaking glances toward the brown skinned boy named Jay?

"What would you like to do, Julia? There's gotta be something here you would like to do." Jody asked her. She noted how scruffy he was looking the last few days. He was letting a beard grow in over his handsome face, but it suited him. A tall drink of water, relaxed and always ready for something to happen like he was anticipating the worst though he didn't show it. She'd seen Jody killing them. Strong and trained, coordinated and calm. He didn't rile easily. He seemed so cool and so...so Jody. He rolled with the punches, took to the farm like he loved it.

"I don't know? I am not good at anything." She answered him. Outside of a school book, she didn't excel at anything in particular other than day dreaming, creating made up scenarios in her head that would never happen. In her mind, she was calm and cool and cocky, strong and she could do anything. Similar to the Julia she saw sitting at the head of the table. She couldn't help but feel she dulled in comparison. She wondered how Julia knew so much and could accomplish things. She wondered where she got her strength from.

"Well, when you figure it out, I am here. I can make time, you know." He offered. Jody was kind. Another fine quality to add to the list she'd already started making in her mind. He was always open and available. "I'm a couple rooms down, Julia. I'm always bored, looking for something to do. So,"

"Yes, Jody." She said, taking a glance at him.

"You don't know what you're good at till you try. Think about it." He stopped walking and he left her walk on toward the house, watching as she made her way inside the door. Her hair blew in the breeze as she moved and her small body seemed, well, so small and fragile. He couldn't imagine the zombie and human killing Julia ever being so timid or shy or slight. He'd known the Julia from home for a while and he saw her as an equal, but the one who stood next to him at the fence making eyes at Jayson and sounding so utterly unconfident, he wasn't used to that. The difference between the two awed him. But he knew the young one had something in her that could mirror that of the one who planned and sought to enact phases one and two through the nests of the future. When they departed, what would become of this awkwardly shy girl? Would they all be able to leave her behind to fight the hordes and struggle through till she either met an end or a person that would hopefully take care of her?

Julia passed the days in a similar fashion, helping out with anyone who would accept it or give her something to do to make her feel useful. While the work was being done and the fence was being repaired, she waited. She waited for Julia to take her home to retrieve her things. They'd planned on doing that, but death got in the way, then life got in the way of death.

She spent time alone. She lay in the addition in the cubby and she listened as the people moved around her or outside the house, inside the house. She listened as Tavin made love to Kelly across the hall, which they did often. It was so often, Julia couldn't escape it. Some nights, it went on forever and she couldn't deal with it anymore. Then when they chose not to or they were quiet, Julia, too and Alexander would go in for a spell and make their own noise, which bothered her. She could never imagine her younger brother being intimate with a girl, but it happened regularly. There were the couples and there were couple's activities. Julia lay alone, having never been explored by anyone in such a way and some nights she'd listen and she'd imagine Jayson touching her like that or she'd lay and touch herself as she imagined Jayson's hand brushing over hers.

This night in the end of September, she got out of bed and she left the addition. She passed the muffled noises of sex. She couldn't take another minute listening to Tavin and Kelly or God forbid her father and Karen. Was there really nothing else to do in this house? Evidently, no there wasn't. She climbed the steps to the second floor and figured maybe she could talk to Julia about going home, but their door was shut as well and through the door she heard the inescapable sounds of Jay and Julia, the bed creaking and the heavy breathing that sounded familiar. She turned and went back to the first floor, her footsteps falling on creaky floor boards and she was startled as she found Jody and Chess at the table with a notebook. They read a page or two written in black ink, red markings and words written in the margins.

"What's up?" Chess asked, his eyes moving from her to the book in front of them.

"Um, nothing. I can't-um-I-"

"What? Spit it out?" Chess was short with her, not taking his eyes off the notebook. This girl could never find her words.

"It's kind of weird in there." She answered.

"What's wrong?" Chess asked, hearing the word weird come out of her mouth. What Julia's version of weird meant, he had no clue.

"They're doing it." She whispered as she fidgeted. "It's-just-I can't-um-listen anymore. It's weird and I feel all weird listening."

"Welcome to the club, Jules. Have a seat." Chess offered, pointing at Julia's chair next to him.

Julia took a bottle of kool aid from the counter and she sat down. She looked over Chess's shoulder, reading along with him and Jody. She listened as they spoke and Jody made marks in the margins, added his notes and Chess's on a separate piece of paper. "What's this about?"

"The Pennsylvania Infantry." Jody answered. "A small army, sort of like a militia."

"Oh," She wrinkled her face as she read along. Her handwriting. "I wrote that. I mean, she did."

"Yes." Chess answered. "You wanna sign up?"

"Oh, I don't think I could do it." She answered, leaning over the table. "Wars for guys, I think."

"Really?" Chess smiled. "Don't let her hear that."

"I somehow doubt she'd hear me." Julia shot back at him. "So, what's there to do here other than, you know."

"Other than what?" Chess asked, teasing her. She didn't answer, her small and pale face blushed beneath the skin. He didn't see Julia embarrass easily. "Fuck?" He asked.

"Chess." Jody sighed.

"Well, yes. I guess, if you wanna call it that."

"Ever fucked, Julia?" Chess asked, pushing her a little to see her reaction.

"That's not your business." Jody answered for her.

"Ok, I'm sorry, Julia. It's none of my business."

"I haven't. No." She answered, sitting back in her chair. "Is there something wrong with that?" She asked Chess.

"No, actually. There isn't." He answered. "What exactly are you waiting for?" He asked her, wondering why she hadn't and the original jumped into the game so early.

"The right person." She replied, making it sound so simple. "I haven't found the right person."

"Good luck with that now." Jody mumbled.

"I know, right?" She giggled. "May be a long wait and laying in there isn't helping much." She added, loosening up a little. She sipped the kool aid.

"I hear that, Julia." Chess agreed.

"So, what else is there to do?"

"Nothing." Jody answered. "This."

"Oh, I see. So we do nothing. Well, this is boring. And you did this twice?" Julia asked Chess.

"It was fun. Back then."

"What was fun? Tell me, I would like to have fun."

"What did you do at home?" Jody asked, hearing a familiar twang in her voice. The way she said fun perhaps or the emphasis she put on that particular word. She reminded him of Tia.

"Read, go on line, listen to music, watch Netflix, watch TV. Dance. Go out. Shop. I was in the band, too, so there was always practice and I-"

"This is not band camp, so cards?" Chess mused. Band? Julia in marching band twisted his insides a little and he had to stifle the laughter. This young version embarrassed easily and he definitely didn't want to upset her or start picking on her for her particular tastes and activities.

"Blah. Like go fish or something?"

"Ever play poker, Julia?"

"Um, no. Wanna show me?" She smiled, leaning forward in her chair. Her hair fell over her shoulders and onto the table. Her sweat shirt, too loose, dipped ever so slightly in the front to expose a glimpse of what was inside. She hadn't noticed or hadn't cared as she flipped the book closed in front of them. She took another swig of kool aid and she drummed her fingernails on the table. Her mannerism and her insistence were cute. As she drank her kool aid, Chess dealt and they kept the cards open and laid out on the scratched wood table top. He felt like he was having Deja Vu as he'd already taught her this game. Not long into her second hand this young Julia became distracted and strange. She was not her shy and usually introverted self. Was she flirting with them? Chess and Jody both watched as she gradually loosened up to the point she was no longer that shy girl.

"What is wrong with you tonight?" Jody asked as she started dropping her cards. Her laughter was infectious, everything was funny. They were amused at her as well. Her mouth started running and she was talkative and open. A strange one, but they listened to her stories of home and the kids and her openness was alarming as she started saying things she normally wouldn't. Too open and too comfortable.

"I don't know what's wrong? I feel good though." She answered, sipping some more kool aid. She left out a belch and said 'excuse me'.

"We'd make out better with go fish at this point. Julia, you're not paying any attention." Chess gathered up the cards. He wasn't upset as much as he was amused. He liked her like this. She was definitely a friendlier version of the girl that he brought home a few weeks ago.

"War." Jody shrugged, handing out cards from the deck. A simple game and she was much better at that with her sudden mood change. Chess sat telling them stories about the early days at the house while those two played War and Julia sipped kool aid. As with normal war, there was never an end to the game.

Jayson dropped down the steps and looked around the kitchen. "Hey, where's my kool aid?" He asked. "I forgot to take it up with us." He looked at the table and the three as they had their game of War.

"I drank it." Julia announced, holding up the bottle with 1/4 of the red juice left.

"You drank it?" He asked, grinning  as she slapped cards on the table top. She leaned over toward Jody and she teased him about his losing the battle.

"I did. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was yours."

"Eh, well you might as well finish it." Jay shrugged, looking at the girl who reminded him of the girl he just left upstairs. "You feel alright, do you?"

"Yep, I feel fantastic, Jay." She answered, scooping up the cards from Jody. She attempted to shuffle, uncoordinated hands dropping cards and Chess picked them up then shuffled for her.

"You should. You're drunk." He informed her as she giggled from her seat. This reminded him of the first time he got her drunk. All fits of laughter and she turned red as a beet as her flesh heated up.

"I thought something was off." Chess noted, splitting the deck between her and Jody. "What is she drinking?"

"Uh, Jules found some vodka she had stashed in the storage room when she gave this one that room." He replied.

"Any left?"

"She drank it." He pointed at Julia who slapped a card on top of Jody's. Jody seemed amused by her. Jody appeared as if he was acting his age.

Chess seemed disappointed there was no more vodka. "You couldn't taste it, Julia?"

She belched again. "Tastes like kool aid." She shrugged, sliding him the rest of the red juice.

"Hardly enough." He breathed heavily as he unscrewed the lid. He sniffed it. It clearly smelled like alcohol. "You had to know."

"It tastes like kool aid." She repeated. Apparently Julia enjoyed mixed drinks, taking the bottle off his hands. "Find some more. I like this." She said loudly.

"We know." Jay grinned. "Behave, Jules." He shrugged, taking a water bottle from the counter.  Water would have to do for the night and Julia wouldn't be pleased her last shots of vodka were gone. She'd purposefully asked he mix them so it would last longer.

"Always, Jay. You know." She turned back to her card game and he slipped off to the upstairs, back to his girlfriend. Chess seemed disinterested in the game before him and slipped away as well with the notebook. She looked at Jody as she moved over a seat, taking Chess's spot.

Julia grew bored with the cards and she sat next to Jody listening to him talk for a bit. He spoke of a girl named Tia he once knew that liked tequila. Tia wasn't a regular drinker, barely drank at all, he'd said. An ex girlfriend. Julia didn't want to hear about ex girlfriends any more than she wished to think about her probable zombie boyfriend. Half what Jody said went in one ear and out the other. Having never been intoxicated before, she found it difficult to focus on his tale of woe. She could manage to focus on his face, his facial hair he'd grown. She reached out and she touched his face. She rubbed the growth under the palm of her hand. "I was wondering if it was soft or hard." She said as her fingertips touched the coarse texture on his face.

"Well?" He asked.

"I woulda said soft, but no." She answered as his hand covered hers. His palm was rough as well on her soft skin. He pressed her palm against his face.

"I'm too lazy to shave." He smiled, enjoying the feel of her hand on his face. "Should I shave it?"

"Uh-uh. I like it. Although, you are better looking without it. You're one of those guys it could go either way-with or without the beard-and you'd still be handsome. You can pull it off." She paused, taking a breath. "Some of them look scruffy with it. Homeless-chic." She giggled. "Did your girlfriend like it?"

"I didn't have it then." He answered.

"Awe, Jody, you miss this girl."

"Sometimes, I do. I won't lie. She's got another guy now. He's good to her. That's all that matters."

"Yeah, I guess."

"What about your guy? Where's he at? What happened?"

"I never saw Vin again. He was nice. Boring really. I wanted a boyfriend so I could say I had a boyfriend."

"Jay? What about him?"

"Nah. He wasn't into me like that."

"You were though, into him like that?" Jody asked to see if the alcohol would bring around the truth from the girl.

She blushed, hesitated. "Kinda, but it wasn't like it would ever happen."

When she was in quarantine with her father, Ellen and Andy, and seemingly unaffected by the virus, her brother and sister were with Jay and Tavin. The last she had heard from them, they had the kids and they were in the small two bedroom they shared by Oaks. Tavin had gone out looking for some sort of supplies and he was with both kids, staying with them so they would be scared. When she was in quarantine, the cells either lost their charge or were confiscated by the authorities. Hers was taken from her and she never saw her phone again. By the time she was released from the Q-zone, smuggled out with her dad's friend, the cells were down, landlines no longer worked and there was no power. Julia had gone home to the dark and stayed in it. The world had seemed to change over night. Over the course of a couple weeks as the infection spread throughout the county, state, country and beyond, the amenities of life were few and far between. As she waited in her home for her family who never arrived, the zoms outnumbered the living and she stayed put. Though she often wondered about Jay and his brother and the kids, she never ventured out to find them.

"But you would have had to leave eventually, Julia. What did you plan on doing?"

"Dying, Jody." She answered honestly. "What were the odds of me surviving if Chess and my dad, her dad, didn't come? Didn't take me with them?"

"I think that you're smart and you would have figured it out."

"I think you think I am like her and I am not. I am not her."

"But I think you don't know what you can do until you are forced to do it. When you have no choice and no alternative?"

"Is that what happened to you?"

"I didn't come in contact with the dead until I went to New Jersey. When it's kill or be killed, Julia-"

"This is not what I want in life, Jody. I want my normal life back. What do I want? Is it up to me anymore?"

"You can't have it, Julia. It's over. You have to ask yourself the same question, but under these circumstances."

"I wanted a husband and children. A house and a car. A job."

"You can still have all that and one day in the future, you can do that. It's still possible only the car will be a horse." He nudged Julia when he attempted humor. He was not a humorous soul.

"A horse." She giggled. "Well, I should learn how to ride one."

"I can do that." He said, taking her hand from his hair growth on his cheek. He didn't let it go. He held it and she let him. He thought a moment. He wanted to try and make the girl happy. Draw her out of her shell and let her shine, see what she had inside her that set her apart from the woman that sat at the head of their table every night. "It would be fun." He said, targeting the one particular word that this Julia needed to hear.

"I'd like to have fun. You would do that with me?"

"Yes." He answered quickly. "Among other things." He said aloud, then thought that may have been a mistake.

"Like, Jody?" She smiled, blushing, as her fingers tightened around his.

This Julia blushed frequently. Whether shyness, embarrassment or alcohol, he wasn't sure. He knew she wore her moods on her flesh, changing from a rosy pink when excited to a flushed red when angry. These fair skinned Julia's were varying shades of crimson depending upon their internal mood ring. "Like this." He said, leaning to her, giving a soft and moist kiss on her lips, which she didn't reject. Separating the Fry from the Morgan was easy as he had never been attracted to Morgan. He wasn't sure if he was even attracted to Fry as he continued to kiss her. But she was warm and friendly and open and most of all willing. He reminded himself she was drunk and he pulled away, putting a foot between them. Julia gripped his hand, a similarly strong grip to the other.

"I liked that." She said, excitement in her voice.

"Was it fun?" He asked, laughing a little. "Wanna do it again?"

"Yeah." She replied eagerly, hopping from her chair on her light and agile legs and onto his lap. "Yes, I do." She said again. She had this chance with Jayson a couple years back and she missed the opportunity to hook up with a great guy. She wasn't letting that happen again. She liked Jody, had no chance with her Jayson or any other Jayson, so she let herself be excited and willing. With the help of vodka laced Kool Aid Julia felt on top of the world.

"Hey, you weren't kidding were ya?" Placing his arms around her waist, he edged her small frame toward him and he kissed her again. They kissed in that chair at the table till Julia tired and laid her head on his chest. She either passed out or fell asleep and Jody wasn't sure which was more accurate. He left her there because she felt good on him. Her warm and small body against his chest and her legs dangling over the side of the chair as she straddled his lap. Heat radiated from her open legs onto him as he grew hard and pressed against her. She breathed slow and soft on him and he tilted his head back in the chair and closed his eyes.

Julia found them asleep at her table when she came downstairs to smoke. She shook him awake with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Put her to bed, Jo. She pass out?" Julia asked when he roused from slumber.

"Yeah, I think so."

Julia giggled, "Seeing it from this angle, I look good on you." She nudged him and head outside with her cigarette and lighter. "Come out and smoke, Jo."

Jody slid the chair back and carried her to her bed. She didn't even stir, which meant she was passed out and not asleep. He covered her, then closed the door, leaving her alone in her room. He then head out and sat on the porch steps with Julia, sharing a smoke with her. He waited for her to say something, comment, tell him to leave her alone. But she didn't. She only complained about the vodka. He broke the monotony, "Julia, is that a problem?"

"No, it's not." She answered. "I trust you."

"I wonder if it's because she was there."

"What's wrong with that?" Julia asked. "Tia was there. Becca was there."

"She's not Tia or Becca. She's you though and we don't-"

"She's not me. I'm me. She's herself, her own person. Remember that. Just cause I don't fuck with you doesn't mean she can't. Or vice versa."

"She's not my type."

"Looked like it." Julia giggled.

"I don't wanna take advantage of her."

"Looked like it."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I. I think if you were gonna do that, Jody, you'd be in there trying. And you're not. Just let it happen and if it happens, then so be it. Don't think about it."

"Ugh, she's you though."

"What's wrong with me?"

"I am not attracted to you. You're physically small and well, undeveloped. No offense."

"I know what you mean."

"You are not an ugly girl. That's not what I mean."

"I said I know what you mean." She shot back at him. "I understand undeveloped as you call it. I got my highlights though."

"Like?"

"Like? Like my sparkling fucking personality among other things, Jo." She laughed, standing up. "Hey, I know we don't talk like this, but stick it in and you'll find out."

He stood as well. They walked back to the door. "Oh, Morgan. I don't know..." He sighed, holding the door open for her.

"Why do you think they won't go away? Trust me." She sighed. "It is not my sparkling personality."

"Morgan, stop it. You have many qualities that anyone would find appealing." He assured her.

"As do you, Jody." She closed and locked the back door and then walked with him to the stairs where Jody said good night and went to his own corner of the world.

When Julia awoke, the room was dark and she wasn't quite sure where she was. That happened from time to time since the world as she knew it ended. Her head felt fuzzy and she adjusted herself to the cubby, the tight space. She flicked on her flash light and she shined it around the empty walls, the bare wood. Her dresser, small, three drawers across from her bed. She flicked the flashlight off and she repositioned on the firm mattress. She remembered kissing Jody, his strong arms around her waist, his fingers as they massaged into her flesh on her waist. His lips on hers, her neck, her chest. He stopped from going too far with her. She remembered catching his chin as it lowered over her chest, catching his hand as it lifted the sweatshirt to slip beneath the fabric. She'd already allowed some play, going further than she had with Vin. All she'd ever done with Vin was cuddle on a sofa and occasionally kiss. They'd never made out heavy like she had with Jody for any length of time. She knew boys talked and she didn't want to be talked about. She'd prefer being known as the girl who wouldn't do anything than the girl who would do it all.

She felt the pressure of her bladder in her belly and she threw back the blanket from her body. Flashlight in hand, she got up and she head out in the early morning chill to the hall. No one appeared up. She turned left and pushed open the addition door and looked around with adjusting eyes to the farm in front of her. A few hundred yards ahead was the out house. She dreaded it. Hated it. She only wanted to pee in a bathroom. The outhouse grossed her out for some reason. She hustled along the path to the wood framed port-a-potty and she shut herself in, peed quickly and then redressed herself. That hole on the seat was the stuff of nightmares, thinking something would jump up and grab her behind when she sat on it. As she pulled her pants up, she heard the noise she also dreaded. The moaning, the shuffling of uncoordinated footsteps on the path to the outhouse and she froze. She peeked out the door, opening it ever so slowly and just enough to get her head out. When she saw it, a scalp-less skull, exposed bone, jagged and dehydrated skin hanging on the cheeks, she pulled the door shut as slowly as she'd opened it. Its body neared the door and flung itself onto it, its hungry wailing loud and scary and she curled onto the seat, pulling her feet up from the floor and all she could manage in her fear was a scream. It pounded the door with thudding hands and body and it snarled as its head hit the wooden door. She screamed again, started crying, pulling herself tighter into a ball and listened as she prayed the door would hold and she prayed the door would not open. She reached for the latch on the door and she held it tight, but the thumping of the zom's body terrified her and she pulled back and screamed again. I'm gonna die out here...As soon as she thought it, the body fell away from the door and she stayed inside crying.

"Who's in there?" Chess asked. He only heard screaming and crying from the yard as he smoked his morning joint in the barn. No one was usually up this early. "It's ok. You can come out."

"Is it gone?" She asked, crying, but trying to settle her tears and stop them. She reached and opened the latch on the door and she opened it slowly. Chess pulled it the rest of the way.

"It's gone. What are you doing out here? You alright?"

"I was peeing." She answered him. "What else would I be doing in an outhouse, Chess?"

"Well, are you done? Come on out." He took her small hand in his.

She accepted his hand and leaped over the body at his feet. "Why's it in here?" She yelled. "I thought you fixed the fence."

"Calm down, Julia." He sounded so matter of fact about it. "That's a good question though." His eyes scanned the yard and his ears listened. Julia was right, where had it come from? She was lucky she wasn't grabbed as soon as she stepped outside. The girl walked out of the addition aware of her surroundings, but oblivious to the fact there was a walker stalking her. He'd only recently come outside and hadn't seen anything on the trek to the barn. The fence was not 100% this time around. He walked the path toward the addition with her and as they approached the house more were visible rounding the yard from the porch area. "That fucking gate." Chess muttered as he saw 4 in his sights. Julia started her whimpering and he took her off to the right to the coop, which would cover her. He handed her one of Jayson's homemade fence spears. She trembled as she held it in her small hands, fear kicking in and the sudden awareness of a new kind of life was walking through the yard toward them.

"Wanna try?" He asked.

"No." She answered quickly, thinking back to the day she'd gone out with Jody and Kay to the fence. He'd demonstrated this, but until one accomplished the task on his own, the whole killing the dead remained a terrifying mystery.

"Well, they're coming. Gotta start somewhere." His voice low, yet encouraging. "I'm right here, Jules. You'll be alright." Chess gave her a rundown of how to use the weapon she held in her hands and then made her repeat and demonstrate back to him. "Don't let go of the stick. You control it, it doesn't control you." She nodded nervously and looked through the coop's windows to the yard. The tears had resolved for the most part and it was visible that she was terrified and uncertain. "Cry when you're safe, Julia." It had worked once, when he needed to hear it, when they all needed to hear it. Would it work when it was said back to her? "That one, she's slow and small, go get her." He and Julia stepped from behind the coop and he took the larger, which she watched in awe as his size was not an issue. He was small, not much bigger than she and if he could do it, then she felt as though she could as well. He took down the next with a sharp and hard strike to the head with a knife from his belt. She did as he had instructed and she went after the smaller female that snarled, snapping teeth at her stick, arms outstretched toward her. She struck her with the spear, which put a few feet between her and the aggressor. She hit the jaw and withdrew, then aimed higher and in through the forehead. Never having stabbed anything, she had no idea with how much force it would take or how much oomph to put behind the weapon, but the second strike was the ending strike and the zom dropped, taking the spear to the ground with her. "Pull it and move on, Jules." Chess called, having put down the third. She was slow and she studied the way the zom had moved and walked, its eyes glazed over with a film and lifeless. Once one was dead, she felt stronger, capable, and she moved to Chess's side and they killed two more as the early morning sun gave them little more than shadows on the far side of the house. She took the next one down and pulled the spear as Chess had lowered his to the ground. "Good job, Jules." Chess said, breathing heavy. It was evident to her that wielding a knife was much more strenuous work than wielding the spear. She wanted to keep it. "Wanna do it again, killer?" He laughed, motioning toward the gate with his head.

"I do." She breathed excitedly. She needed to get over that hump, face to face with the zom in order to quell the fear or conquer it. She felt energized and she felt ready.

She spent the morning with Chess Morgan, or part of it. They exterminated the rest of the threat as the sun rose. They closed the gate that had been opened and they did an extensive perimeter check that included the fence, ending those that had impaled themselves on spikes and then knocking them off with the spears. When checks were done, he tossed his new partner gloves and they climbed the slats of the fence. Chess leaped over first, then helped her the rest of the way, her spear in hand. He reminded her to be careful of the spikes as she maneuvered through and then out to the burn circle. She stood on the ground, her feet at the circle.  She helped Chess drag the bodies inside the burn circle till they were piled up.

"We burning them, Chess?" She asked, her voice excited. "Can I light them, Chess?"

"The others, we need to get them first."

"But can I, Chess?"

"If you want to. Sure."

"Yes. Please, Chess. I'd like to keep this too."

"Yeah, yeah, killer. Up and over." He pointed to the fence and Julia climbed back inside. He watched her, covered in goo and blood and remnants of the dead whose bodies they'd just hauled together. He admired that spirit of hers. Julia, herself would never have been dragging bodies around the ground over the fence to a burn circle. She'd never light them up either. She never enjoyed watching them burn. "Are we loading them in the truck, Chess?" She asked, eager to finish what they'd started.

"Uh, the wagon most likely. We don't wanna waste the gas."

"Sure, yeah. Makes sense." She agreed, holding onto the spear as she walked the field back to the house. As they approached, Jay looked outside and saw them covered in human remains. Chess scrubbed off the mess and Julia followed suit in the wash barrel. Later, once they finished loading the bodies in a wagon, they'd shower and scrub the death off them entirely.

"Hey, how'd she do?" Jay asked.

"She lived." Chess answered coldly.

"Oh, Jay, it was fun." She answered. "I killed a few all by myself."

"I'll come out and help you load em up. How'd they get in?" Jay stepped outside and descended the steps. He walked with Julia and Chess toward the barn where he got a horse and attached him to the wagon.

"The gate was open again."

"The fence is secure." Julia added, shaking her hands and arms to dry.

"I want dad to put a new lock on there. Can't have this every week. She coulda been killed."

"Yeah, sure. What were you doing out here anyway, Julia?"

"Peeing. I got caught in the outhouse."

"We don't go out at night." Jay reminded her.

"Tell that to my bladder, Jay. Where am I supposed to pee?"

Jay quieted as she climbed into the rear of the wagon.

Chess followed the wagon as it moved to the middle of the yard. He and Jay lifted and placed the dead in the rear. Julia had tried, but couldn't lift them high enough to set them inside. So she climbed in and waited to go back to the burn circle. She had never killed the dead before that morning, she had never moved a body or ridden in a wagon led by a horse either. She ticked firsts off her life list and once the bodies were all gathered. She rode outside the yard and helped lift them up and over the side of the wagon and Jay and Chess added them to the pile. When the wagon was empty, Chess left her douse them and then light them.

"Where's Jody?" Jay asked, eyeing Julia as they worked. He usually did first checks. He usually gathered up the mess. He prided himself on the mess, getting his hands dirty.

"We were up late." Julia answered, setting herself on the end of the wagon. She watched the fire burn with an awe that Jay and Chess had long ago lost. They usually didn't hang around for the burn anymore.

"Playing cards?"

"Nah." Julia answered, spinning her spear between her fingers. The two looked her over and she wasn't blushing. "We were talking." She answered...among other things...but she kept that to herself. Jody had said they keep their private between them.

"Sure you were." Chess said. If he knew anyone, he knew Julia. Didn't matter which Julia it was, because, as he'd observed that morning, all Julia's were similar. She may not have been up late into the night fucking, but she was up doing something other than talking. She looked the same as the other when she answered and didn't want to give too much away. She wasn't necessarily hiding anything, but she chose not to give anything away either.

"We seen that look before." Jay agreed with Chess's sentiment, but Jay already knew Julia had found them asleep at the table and they were close enough they weren't having conversation.

"Aye, just add vodka, brother." Chess snickered as he hopped onto the wagon and sat aside her. "You driving, Jay?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Wanna smoke with us, Julia?"

"No thanks." She answered, sitting still and watching the flames as they burned up the dead. "Stays in your system too long." She answered, thinking of her sports season.

"You got a drug test to take or something?" Jay laughed. "That's a thing of the past, trust me."

"Oh, yeah, duh. I was thinking of sports, but no."

"What sport?"

"Field hockey." She answered seriously. "I do a variety of things, guys. Why is everyone so surprised?"

"Band, Jayson. She's in band."

"No fucking way. What instrument?"

"Um, are you making fun of me?"

"No, so what instrument?"

"The trumpet." She answered. "Julia was never in band or played sports?"

"No." Chess responded dryly. "She was busy doing other things."

"Like?" Julia asked curiously.

17 year old Julia...Jay thought..."Uh, ask her."

"She had her shit together by this age." Chess said, defending Julia, remembering her devotion to this place, to him.

"Here, maybe." Jay replied. "She got home, though and then what?" Jay reminded him.

"Oh, well, maybe you should ask her. Good idea." Chess agreed as he pulled a joint from the case he kept his weed and smokes in. They passed the joint and when done, Chess stubbed it and put it back in its case. Jay drove them back home, through the gate in the pasture and he left the horse roam the field while they head inside.

Julia didn't want to leave the burn mark, but it wasn't up to her. She wished she had a notebook. She had so much she needed to write, to catch up her journal. She usually had half page entries because she swore she led the most boring life ever. Now, though, she was excited to have something to write about that was interesting. She gathered new clothes, a towel and the donated toiletries from Julia, herself and she head to the shower. When she finished washing, drying, dressing, Julia awaited her outside the shower stall.

"Hey, had a good morning?" She asked, seeming a bit angry.

"I did. It was so exciting, Julia."

"I'm sure." She nodded. "Please, don't do that again. Trying to get yourself killed?"

"First of all, I only went to the bathroom and if you had a bathroom in there, then I wouldn't have come all the way out here. But you don't." Julia spoke up with her soft voice.

"Yeah, understood, but we went over this."

"And I went over this too. I am not peeing in a cup, Julia. Or a pot or a bucket. That's as nasty as the outhouse, so I may as well walk all the way out there." She spoke up for herself. This little one didn't like being told what to do either. "And I want to learn how to stab them like Chess showed me. I did pretty good. He told me I did a good job."

"Ok, you probably did. I think that's just great. But I think you shouldn't put yourself into the situation unless you have to."

"Who are you to tell me I shouldn't? You're me, not my mother."

"You're in my house and I am trying to look out for you is all."

"I don't need you looking out for me."

Julia laughed, questioned her hearing for a moment. "Sure about that? You were hiding in your basement-"

"I didn't mean it like that. If you wanna look out for me, you need to let me do stuff like that so one day I can look out for myself. Am I wrong?"

"You walk around acting like you don't want to, then all of a sudden you're changing up the game plan. What the fuck do you wanna do?"

"I'll do as I please." She answered simply. "I wasn't aware I had to clarify with you-"

"You do not, Julia, need to clarify a fucking thing with me. But if you informed me, I could have someone do all that with you rather than putting yourself at risk."

"The only risk I took was walking out the door to go to the outhouse." She paused. "I wasn't alone out here. I was with Chess and then I was with Chess and Jayson. Geeze, you're acting like I went all ninja and started slaying the dead with a spear all by myself."

"Julia-"

"I didn't go out looking for trouble. I am not that stupid. It comes to me."

"Yeah, I know." She replied. "Jody does the fence. Work with him if that's what you'd like." Julia looked the short girl over from head to toe and watched as she wrapped the towel around her long red hair. "Did Jody talk you into this?"

"No, it was an accident. Like most things that happen to me." She answered, tucking the tail of the towel under her turban like wrap. "I like this spear. Can I keep it with me?"

"Well, you're gonna have to if you insist on traveling in the dark to the outhouse. Julia, this life is different. You will need to adjust to it or it will bite you."

"And I will survive it, just like you." She sounded so cocky at that moment. Julia wondered if the girl was still a touch drunk. She was not usually this outspoken. Perhaps all she needed was a little confidence? "I would like my things. These are your things." Julia said as she stepped inside the addition. "You said we would go get my things. I have things you know, just like you. I want my things."

"Well, killer, go get them." Julia moaned, walking away from her.

"Go get them? What is your problem with me this morning?"

"What is yours? Acting all brave for one day on a fucking fence, aren't you?"

"Oh, stop that. I can do stuff. I can-"

"Oh, shut up." Julia whined, leaving her alone by her cubby door.

"Julia, come on." Tavin yelled, having heard the exchange. It was evident neither liked to be challenged. Julia finally saw what it was like to deal with Julia when she was cocky and defiant.

"What?" They both asked him. Julia stopped by the addition entrance and Julia looked to the left into his room.

"You don't know me at all. None of you do. These people all go on what they know about you. I don't want to be compared to you anymore. I'm tired of it."

"Well, so am I. Oh, she's so nice and she's so sweet. I bet it's all an act. I know you better than anyone. And this is just an act."

"You would think that. You just be you and I will be me. Are you worried they'll like me more or something?"

"No." Julia answered honestly. "I'm not. This is my family, my brother and sister and these are my people. Yours? Where are they?"

"They're dead." She answered, tears welling up in her eyes. "They're probably dead. So aren't you lucky?" She turned and went into her cubby and she closed the door behind her.

"Fuck. Fuck." Julia groaned. "Making me feel bad. Fuck. I'm sorry your people are dead, but you can't substitute mine for yours."

"I'm not trying to." She yelled from behind her door.

"Be nice, babe." Jay said softly as he approached her from the kitchen. "Please, babe. Be nice."

"She doesn't understand me." Julia whispered.

"You could explain it instead of yelling at her." Jay said.

"Yeah, you were just mean to her. Talking about the dead. Fuck, Jules. You trying to hurt her?"

"Chess-"

"She has absolutely nothing. She finally comes out of the room, finally interacts with people on more than a superficial level, finally gets outside and kills something and you fuck with her head. That is not cool." He raised his voice. "Leave her the fuck alone."

"Chess-" She yelled and gave him a look that he didn't like.

"You raise that hand, Morgan, and I will raise mine. Understand me?" He asked. He knew the look and he knew that little fist balled up for a reason.

"Yes," She answered, taking it down a notch.

"Whatever the fuck is wrong with you, work it out." He snapped.

"Nothing is wrong with me." She argued.

"Come on, babe. Stop it. Take a few minutes, smoke, calm down. What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me." She yelled, turning away from both of them. "Nothing." She walked away, back through the hall and back outside.

"Jay, man. I don't know how you do it." Chess mumbled.

"There's too many people under one roof that don't like each other." Kelly said, poking her head from her room. "That's just a theory. A small one, but a theory."

"What would you have us do?" Jay asked seriously. "Kelly, tell me."

"Blaming Julia isn't an answer." Jess said, inserting her opinion from her room.

"She's trying, guys. You don't know-"

"She took it on." Chess reminded him. "Doesn't give her any right to-never mind. Go deal with her."

"Deal with her? Just like that?"

"You know she's difficult." Tavin called from behind Kelly. "I mean she has her days."

"We all have our days." Jay told him.

"She can't treat us like shit, Jay. It doesn't work like that." Chess muttered, stepping back into the kitchen. "You know how she escalates things."

"That's not the problem." Kelly said. "You shoulda got her. Not this one."

"Chain of command, Kell. Are you suggesting we broke chain of command and-"

"I think, yeah." Kelly nodded. "Yeah, I think that's what I am saying. And she treats this one like she treats Jesslyn."

"How's she treat me?" Jess yelled from her room.

"The way she treats all you females. None of you have to even go out there and risk anything."

"Cause of some bullshit from back then?"

"No." Kelly answered. "You guys, just drop it and let them work it out."

"Drop it?"

"Yeah, Chess. You don't have to get involved in every fight."

"Kelly, you aren't minding your own business either. I was sticking up for the girl."

"She was sticking up for herself just fine." Kelly said, pointing toward the door.

"Whatever, Kelly. I am the chain of freaking command and I will take who I want where I want."

"So now you're fighting with me too."

"Then go back in your room and keep your opinion to yourself."

"Don't talk to Kell like that." Tavin said, poking his head in the hall way. "This whole thing got out of hand. This had nothing to do with any of us. It was them."

Chess turned and walked away from the lot of them, leaving them to argue amongst themselves.

At that moment, Julia entered through the kitchen door. Calmer and high, but her mood leveled out. "Hey, know what set me off, Morgan?" She asked, closing the door.

"What's that?" He sighed.

"Your fuckin mom." She replied, setting a basket of eggs on the island in the center of the kitchen. "She is fired."

He smiled softly. "Um, I think she quit a while back."

"So I am mad at you because of that. Light my fire, Chess." She motioned to the hearth. Her voice sounded sad. "You know I don't ask for much. I don't bother anyone about anything. You noticed that? I been trying, Chess, to keep my mouth shut. I been trying to go with this horrible flow."

"I know, Julia." He sighed, on his knees in front of the hearth. "You piss me off, though, Jules."

"I know. I don't care about that, you know." She frowned. "So, I am sorry." Julia opened the pantry and she dropped to the root cellar..

"Oh, ok. I can't stay mad at you long." He went back to starting the fire for her. He set the wood up and he didn't complain, thinking it could be worse.

"Those marines teach you how to cook from scratch, Morgan? Should I-"

"No, Julia, and don't you dare cook. Let Jayson." Chess said, looking at the flames, thinking about the horrible meals they would face as Julia, he believed, would be taking over.

"Yes, I believe Jayson's got a new job." She agreed. "I bet he could hook us up with some bangin' homemade pizza." She giggled.

"Oh, that sounds good. I bet he could."

"He could." She said, listening to the voices coming from the addition. "Oh, they're arguing." She cringed. "What the hell?"

"Things got outta hand." Chess informed her as he rose from the fire that was burning pretty good.

"So, if you could go out to get me some milk, Chess, I would appreciate it."

"Yeah, Julia. I can." He agreed without arguing. He wanted to do that anyway. It had been on his list of things to do, but he'd been distracted but Julia and her walker adventure. "The gate-"

"Later." She said softly. "Milk first."

Chess squeezed past her and she stopped him. She kissed his cheek. "Chess, please don't leave us. I know it's hard and I know that this is unfair, but-."

She stepped out of his way and left him open the door. As she stepped past the block to fetch Jayson to cook for them, she didn't look back as she heard him. "Julia, I am not going anywhere. Not after this morning." His voice lightened. Julia kept it moving and she met up with Jayson, pulling him away from the addition to the kitchen. She stood him at the block and she slapped his butt. "You are hired."

Julia wandered off and left him in his kitchen.

"But I wanna do the fence, Julia." She whined and complained at the very same time.

"Would you like your things or would you like the fence? Choose."

"I choose both." She said firmly.

"Oh, my God. You wanna run my table too?" Julia said, the frustration could be heard in her voice. She looked her over again, head to toe. "Can you fight at all? Like have you ever been in one?"

"Julia-" Tavin warned her.

"No." Julia answered shortly. "I haven't." She was annoyed and moody. "You passing me off on Jody?"

"There's none of my stuff there. I don't even like that damn house. Go with Jo."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Too many bad memories there." She shook her head, thinking of Jayson holding a gun at her head.

"Hey, hey, hey, enough." Jody interrupted them. "You, go with Ray on the fence and I will take her home. The both of you need to stop it. It's getting on my nerves." He turned to the little one who he had in his arms last night. "We'll do checks together later. You can do both."

"What is wrong with both of you today?" Tavin asked, pulling on a hoodie. He looked over the table to the living room where Kelly sat on the sofa with Tarin. "Her too. What is wrong with all you women today? I think we should all go back to bed and start this day all over again." Tavin announced.

Julia and Jody left with the keys to the Prius and drove off together. Julia sat in the passenger seat a whole new shade of red. She simmered as they drove through the countryside to reach Maverick. They arrived at Julia's house and they left themselves inside. Jody cleared the house one floor at a time. Julia didn't understand why, but left him carry on as she waited by the door. The place looked exactly as she left it. He head lastly to her basement room. She followed him there and she gathered up some belongings in a bag. Clothes and personal items she liked, some pictures. He took a survey of everything she set in her bag. A small box that the kids had made her with small mementos inside, nothing purchased. She told him that there was a rock inside there that Alex had given her from the park. It was shaped naturally like a heart. A golf ball, color pink, that she got from mini golf when she hit the hole in one. They were going to give her a gift certificate, but she had talked the owner into giving her the ball instead. A chapstick, which she didn't give away the significance of. Some change. She had a necklace that had been her mother's and a bracelet. A small photo album went in next. As Julia rummaged in the bathroom for her hygiene items, Jody flipped through the photos. She had a small one of Jayson that she had tucked between the pages. On the other hand there was a picture of herself and a skinny fellow wearing a band uniform. She stood beside him in her very own uniform, holding a trumpet.

"Trumpet, Julia?" He smiled. "I would have thought you were more of a flute girl."

"Yes," She said, taking her photo album from him.

"That Vin?" He asked.

"Yes." She answered, tucking it in her bag along with her body wash and her bathroom stuff. Girls always came with stuff and loads of it. He rifled through the row of perfumes on her dresser top and he smelled each one.

"This one." He decided. "This is the one you wear through the apocalypse, Julia."

"That one?" She smiled, swiping it from his hand. She set it inside her bag. "That's not my favorite. It was like 7$ at Kmart." She picked up another bottle and she took off the lid. She held it to his nose. "This is my favorite. Juicy Couture."

"Please don't squirt it." He asked, taking the lid and capping the bottle. He set it in her bag and he withdrew the other. He sprayed her with that one. "This smells so good." He said, capping that bottle and putting it back. Generic was best, smelled of flowers, soft and not too strong. It didn't have the odor of a perfume, rather it smelled natural. Roses, to be exact. He'd smelled it before. On Tia.

"Oh, you like?" She asked shyly, looking away at first, then she looked up at him with her soft blue-green eyes.

"Julia, don't do that. Get your stuff." He laughed softly.

"Do what, Jody?" She batted her eyelashes and smiled again. He'd seen that look before, that one she gave to Jay or Chess or even Tavin from time to time. She'd never given it to him though. Her small flip side version was sending that look his way and he liked it. Separate the two of them...he reminded himself. This wasn't Morgan standing across from him.

"You're flirting. You sure you wanna go there?"

"I'm-uh-not-." She nodded, trying to convince herself more than him. He took a step closer to her and she jumped a little.

He stopped. "Sure, huh?" He laughed, double checking. He placed a hand on her bag. "Ready? Got what you want?"

"Almost." She relaxed, stepping around him. He shined the flashlight for her as she emptied out her school bag of school binders and books, setting it all neatly on her desk as if she'd ever return to use those books again. She opened a drawer on her desk, which was strikingly similar to the desk at the farm house and she withdrew a pencil case and a stack of spiral bound notebooks. Approximately 5 of them. She tucked them in her bag and then gathered a couple more novels and a couple puzzle books. Julia was thinking along the lines of boredom, things to do to occupy her time. When she finished gathering her belongings, he noticed she didn't take much. He had a feeling she either wanted to come home again or get those notebooks. Julia was obsessed with her notebooks and he wondered if she was equally obsessed with writing her day's activities and thoughts.

"You alright there, Julia?" He asked as she pulled a blanket from her bed. She folded it and hung it over her arm, then took her pillow.

"Yes, this isn't what I planned on doing with my life is all. Jody, did you have to do this, too?"

"No. I don't own anything. Never did."

"Never?" Jody remained quiet and he took her bag over his shoulder and her back pack. "How did you grow up, Jody? You had to have some things."

"A long time ago when life was normal. It's been so long since then, I don't even remember it."

Jody followed Julia up the stairs, inhaling the sweet and light scent from her perfume trail. He shined the flash light ahead of her so she could see the steps. He set her things in the car and then drove them back toward the farmhouse, around the dead that stood in the streets, some stationary and some mobile. Once out of Maverick and into the countryside, the roads were easier to drive and less congested. Less abandoned cars, less burned out cars. Julia watched as the scenery changed, quiet and withdrawn. She looked sad, thinking she'd never go home again, never see her family again. She felt like she was starting anew. Closing one chapter in her life and starting another only this new chapter she was unsure of where she head and what the outcome would be. Her future was not as easily laid out before her as it was a couple months ago. She told Jody as much. She had lost everything and was starting over just like the rest who had survived this long. "People will survive, Julia. They always have."

"How are you so sure about that?"

"Because I am alive. That's how I know."

"Where are you from?"

"A half hour, 45 minutes north of the farmhouse. A small town called Riverdale."

"I know it. I have been there." She said, feeling familiar with his hometown. "I was there a few times. Twice with band and once for a field hockey game." She looked at him as he drove. She felt that all the talk about possessions and home were weighing on him a little. Was he thinking about home, too? "Ever been back?"

"For what? You don't understand." He said abruptly.

"Well, explain it to me then, Jody."

"I'm from here, but I am not from here. When I met Julia, she was sick and it was 2025."

"10 years from now, Jody. Seriously?"

"When Julia is sick she lives somewhere else. She jumps into a different time with different circumstances. So, when she returned once, she brought me with her."

"Why didn't you go back?"

"I did go back and I didn't find what I was expecting to find. I was too late by the time we went home."

"The girl."

"Yes. Tia...Tatia is the girl."

"My sister?"

"Yeah, only older. My age."

"What did you find?"

"I found her with a guy and a kid, Julia. So much time had passed that she moved on. How long can you wait for a dead person? Time passes differently in the future."

"She thought you were dead?"

"Yes. We were in Jersey, went to war with the living and the dead."

"But you survived."

"And I returned here with Julia. Not home with Tia."

"I'm sorry, Jody. You loved her."

"Yep." He smiled. "So all of this is already done and over with. There's survivors, peace, no dead walking the streets. The states are cleared. There's occasional flare ups and there's plenty of stuff that's different, but for the most part survival is possible. Don't worry."

"This is the beginning."

"Yes, it is."

"How does it change?"

"Julia has a hand in changing that, forming alliances and pulling the people together. They, those at the house and others, came up with a plan to clear the states and that's what they did. They took the land from the dead and gave it to the living."

"Julia did?"

"Yeah, she played a part. Don't get her talking about Virginia, please. Her and her statue." He chuckled. "You really should get to know her."

"She doesn't like me."

"Yes, she does. You don't know Julia. She's a great person."

"She's moody and mean and she fights with everyone."

"She doesn't fight with me. Chess and Jay and Tavin, they got their reasons. I have no reason. They're still there hanging in and ten years from now it's similar."

"So I will live."

"She will. I don't know about you. I only know her, her circumstances, her story. What is yours?"

"I don't have one."

"We all have one." He argued. "Maybe yours hasn't started yet, Fry." He smiled at her and he turned the opposite direction from the farmhouse. He drove through the main road twenty minutes before heading north to Riverdale, Pa. A small town that he hadn't seen since he was a kid, since he left at 13 for the infantry school on the Mastro campus. His future was pretty cut and dry at one time. He explained this to Julia. He had spent his childhood running the baseball field that they passed in the Prius. He went to school at Drummond elementary. Having started the apocalypse at 8, Jody Mayers left school early and by the time he'd returned to the infantry school alongside a handful of others, learning was difficult and a remodeled form of education had replaced the one he remembered. He struggled to learn how to read and write all over again. Having grown up with no amenities in life, books and learning fell along the wayside. Staying alive and eating became a priority. His generation suffered in that aspect. Once the state was put back together, there was a renewed emphasis on the basics of reading and writing, communication in the written form. His education focused on the very basics of learning as his generation had lost a lot of what they'd begun to learn. He hadn't been lucky like Tia or the others who came up in the fortress. Julia always had someone going over the basics with the kids there. Not that they had any advantage, but it was important to Julia and what was important to Julia was important to everyone else by default. There was no grading system and it wasn't officially a school, but the mandatory reading and writing lesson benefited everyone.

"Where is your family, then?" She asked.

"My brothers." Jody groaned. "My oldest, I don't know. Greg is with Tia and Allen died in New Jersey. Adam, I miss him the most, I guess he's fine, home."

"You know my brother and sister."

"I know your sister very well."

"You fell in love with my sister."

"Yes." He answered quickly. "I only love two women in this world other than my mother. Tia is one of them. Julia is the other." He drove along a broken suburban street. A couple months had passed since the world met its maker, but the end had barely touched this place. Jody remembered it differently. He parked the car, leaving it idle at the curb, and he described an infection that took over both his parents and his sister, Danielle. It had been Danielle who had gotten sick first. Where she picked up the infection, no one could pinpoint it. She was the first to succumb and when she did turn, she infected his mother first then his father with sharp small bites. In the beginning no one knew exactly what was happening. The eldest brothers knew it was dangerous, more so than any news report, doctor or government official had let on. "In a way you are lucky you got out of that camp and hid in your house. Do you know what it's like to watch your little sister feed on your mother?"

He and Adam had been home at the time. His older teenage brothers, in high school at the time, they were out when Dani died and then reanimated as a small monster. She was the youngest, age 4 at the time. Dani was someone he kept to himself, rarely if ever spoke of. The memory of that night as he sat outside a single level home on this tree lined street was fresh in his mind. Noise, strange noises and it sounded as if someone was in pain or hurt. He woke first, then as he climbed from the top bunk bed, Adam awoke and told him to stay there in his bed. But he didn't listen to his brother. His feet were light on the carpet to his sister's room where he witnessed his sister sink her teeth into his mother's neck. Blood drained instantly from her, pooling on the clothes and the bed around them. His mother's painful scream as the flesh ripped from her neck drew the attention of his father from sleep and he pushed sleepily past Jody in the hall and removed his mother from Dani's small grasp. The four year old flew at his father next. She seemed so fast, agile on her thin legs, in blood covered pajamas and skin. She growled like an animal, Jody recalled. He closed the door as he listened to his father's screams. He had no doubt at that young age that his father had faced a similar fate as his mother who lay dying from blood loss on the floor of Dani's room. Jody sat on the floor in front of Dani's closed door and he listened as the lives of his parents were taken by his sister. The girl feasted on them, then the three stayed in the pink blood splattered bedroom. His parents revived and the sounds much like rabid animals could be heard thumping and moving through the bedroom. They could sense he was at the door, safe if only for the door that separated them. They still tried to get through, scratching and clawing and throwing their bodies at the door. It held though somehow.

He cried till his brothers got home from being out half the night. They found him unharmed physically, but his emotional state was one of panic. He told them they were inside, had changed like the people on YouTube videos they'd watched. He'd heard to stay away from them. He was listening as the reporters interviewed witnesses to a similar horror and fate. He had closed the door on his family and Allen was the one who stepped into that room, needing to see and to understand what Jody meant. Once the door opened all hell broke loose. Three freshly reanimated zoms stormed out and he remembered Greg throwing him into his own bedroom with Adam. A sharp, 'don't come out', Greg shouted as he slammed the door shut. Jody spent an undetermined amount of time sitting on the floor of his own room with his brother, Adam. The sounds of breaking furniture and shattering glass were all too real and all too loud. Allen had been the one who took control and he had put a stop to the threat that destroyed the house that night. He didn't like talking about it and it had turned him into a different person. Both brothers never were the same after that. They'd first learned to kill in their own home, avoiding similar death. From that moment on it had been the four of them. Rather than staying there in the bloody remains of their parents and sister, the brothers moved them elsewhere. What they faced outside their home was worse than inside their home. They tried to leave that night, but the nest had come out of nowhere and they hid in the attic, barricading themselves inside the utter darkness. In the morning, they moved on. They found another place, the brothers found them food and weapons and Greg was the first to place a weapon in Jody's hands. His brothers were his role models, his protectors, his parents, his only source of life. He had no alternatives, no choices. They led and the smaller brothers followed.

Julia sat in awe of his memory from the first night. As a child he must have been terrified. She glanced through the window at the house where they parked and she knew it had all gone down inside that home. 3 of 7 were gone in an instant. Jody flashed to the future where he lived in a free state. His older brother Adam led an uncomplicated life and searched for happiness. His brother Greg found a girl to love and a girl who loved him back. Allen had died in New Jersey.

"Are we going in, Jo?" Julia cringed. She didn't want that and hoped he didn't either.

Jody put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. He had no idea where his family was now. He had no idea if similar situation had unfolded for him and Adam with Greg and Allen taking care of things. Life on the flipside was different for everyone as evidenced by the red head who sat beside him in the passenger seat. She had her answer as they drove away, back through town in the direction of the farmhouse. He stopped not too far from there in front of a building that was surrounded by a tall and heavy fence. The building itself old and constructed of stone loomed in the distance off the road. A gate hung open and half falling off its hinges. He had been surprised by that. He totally expected people among the school's buildings and its property. He turned and drove inside mindful of his surroundings. He didn't want to get caught in there with no back up and no way out. He felt safe considering the gate was open and he also knew his way in and out other than the front gate. He knew the building's secrets and its weaknesses. As Julia would say, he had the internet once too. He also had the advantage of walking the halls, living inside one building and then visiting the other. The campus looked oddly different. It looked just like the pictures Jayson had taken. He pulled past the HR building and drove on through to the rear where the court yard and dorm stood. Between the two buildings, in that courtyard, locked inside a tall chain link fence was the reason no one lived there. Jody parked there, idling the car and he got out. Julia reached for her door handle.

"No." He warned her before she opened that door. "Not you." If they escaped, there would be no way in the world this Julia would be able to fend off the horde of student body and faculty. Were they students and faculty? He was unsure. They may have been people from the nearby towns and they may have locked themselves in there to be safe only to have turned on themselves. When you lock yourself inside to keep safe, you may also lock inside what you seek to avoid. He was sure that was what happened. They wore no uniform.

"Wow." Julia gasped as she tried to take a head count. "There's so many, Jody."

"We could get them out of there. Let them loose and take the place. It would take some planning, but-"

"Couldn't we kill them inside the fence there?" Julia asked.

"No." He replied. "You would infect the entire area that's cordoned off. The best way is to let them out of here. If you kill them there, no one could live here. You'd never be able to clean it up."

"They were locked in there."

"No, they locked themselves inside to keep safe and the world turned on them. They killed themselves and never saw it coming."

He got in the car and turned around. Julia marveled at the sheer size of the place. "Do you know how many people we could house here and keep safe?"

"Yes I do." He replied. "What do you think, Julia?"

"I think that it's a lot of work."

"I think that if you think about it, you could figure it out. What's your story, Fry?"

"Fry." She giggled.

"What do you think?"

"We should tell Julia about this place. Do you think-"

"I didn't ask about Julia. I asked about you. What do you think about this?"

"Oh, Jody. Me? What could I possibly do?" She asked, but her small body was tense and her mind was churning at the thought.

"I think the possibilities are endless, Fry."

"Wanna do it? You think we could do it? If we had help?"

"I think you should think about it."

"Kinda like what Julia has going on there only on a much grander scale. I think that-I would need to see more." She sounded excited. "Hey, it could keep a lot of people safe. And you know what? This fence is indestructible."

"When we get back there's some things I wanna show you." He climbed back in the Prius and drove back out of the compound. He had an idea. "So, tell me where Jay and Tavin live. Take me there."

"Huh?" She asked, looking at him and away from the fortress from her view out the rear window.

"You gotta be wondering right? So where are they?"

Julia felt excited. She may or may not learn the fate of her brother and sister. Alex and Tia, their location, was always a question mark in her mind. She wondered whether they had lived or died or whether they got out alive. Were they at the apartment or were they hiding somewhere else among the ruins of Oaks and Maverick, trying to make a way in the world like the rest of the survivors? Had they been infected? What if they arrived to find them dead or turned or not there at all? Either way, she wanted to know. Jody could give her an answer that day and very shortly they arrived in Oaks. Off the main road and behind a car dealership. The area was crowded with dead and he opened the glove compartment, handed her a gun and took the safety off.

"Aim with a steady hand and pull the trigger. Be careful. The safety is off."

"I don't want it." She shook her head. Jody put the safety on and tucked it in his waist band. He handed her the knife from his waist.

"This means you have to get up close and personal."

They disembarked the car and closed the doors behind them. Jody locked up and they walked together toward the 2 story home that had been redone to make it an apartment house. There was a fire escape on the outside of the building that led to the second floor as well as the stair well inside the door that would lead them to the second floor.

"While you're out here and walking to the building, you should take in the surroundings. Look for an alternative route in or out. Look for weapons laying around in case yours is lost or dropped. You should also be aware of the living or the dead. How far they are from you and judge their distance, their speed, their agility. Newly turned zoms are faster and well developed. Older ones are a bit slower because of wear and tear, injury, elements."

"Ok." She whispered.

"Always have your hand near your weapon, whatever it is, so you can use it. Do not hesitate if you are threatened. Alive or dead. You are female, males will want more from you than friendship. Do not trust anyone, Julia. That's a thing of the past. Understand? Keep a distance between you and another living person. Do not be fooled."

"Ok."

"First floor or second."

"First." She answered, placing her hand on the door knob. He pulled her hand back.

"No. Knock. Look inside. Make sure you know what's on the other side of the door you're opening. Look for shadows, movement. Listen for sounds that are familiar and unfamiliar. Do you feel any thing?"

"Feel?"

"Not yet? Alright then." He shrugged, wondering if Julia could sense things like the other one could. Did she even know she possibly had a gift donated through her father's blood line? He doubted it. "Always go with your gut instinct. Never doubt your gut reaction to the environment. If something feels wrong, it usually is wrong."

"Nothing feels wrong, though."

"We have company, so let's proceed."

She turned the knob after Jody peered through the small window on the door. He was tall enough to see inside. The door opened and they set foot inside. The hall was dark and had an odor. He nudged her and pointed to his nose, then pointed up. It was the odor of death in the air, the foul smell of rotten flesh. It wasn't in their immediate vicinity, so he believed it to be upstairs. The dead above them sensed their presence. Their sense of smell impeccable, it began to move and signal it was aware. Its movements could be heard thumping and crawling above their heads. As they neared the door to the first floor apartment, movement could be heard in there as well. A dragging of feet or limbs across the floor, edging toward the door.

"Julia, I should go in alone. I will recognize whoever is in there and-"

She stared at the door, knowing the difference between living footsteps and dead footsteps. Living attempted to sneak and tip-toe, but the dead had not a care in the world. She wondered who was behind that closed door. She dreaded the answer and hoped it was no one she knew. She prayed for that much.

"Maybe this was not a good idea, Jody. I don't wanna know now."

"This is something we all have had to face. I told you about my sister, my parents. I have told no one about Dani."

"No one?"

"No one." He replied, turning the knob ever so slightly. "If they are in there, then we need to do the right thing. No one you know should have to suffer like that."

"There's no other way, then." She sighed, losing her breath, building tears and holding them back. She needed to stay strong for whomever they met on the other side of the door. Jody slid the door open a bit so he could see inside and a small hand reached toward the opening.

"Oh, shit." Jody knew whose hand it was, knew the small fingers, the pink nail polish, the delicate bones in her hand. He'd only just told Julia they needed to do the right thing and he suddenly doubted he had that ability. Small hands meant small and sharp teeth. He had not planned on putting down Tatia Keller that afternoon nor did he plan on putting down her brother, Alex. Julia had been correct when she said to Julia her family was dead. Her feeling was validated. She had no one and she was suddenly more alone in the world than she previously had thought. It didn't matter that she could return to the farm house and see a living and breathing yet slightly older Tatia and Alex. Those children were not her true siblings. Similar, yes, but to her, those in the small two bedroom apartment were the children she grew up with, those she loved and cherished.

Jody took the knife from her and he had no choice whether he wanted to complete this task. Julia obviously was falling apart inside and outside. Her pain was visible and real as any he had ever felt or known. The child whose regenerated life he took that afternoon was that of his small companion. Her flesh and bone, her eyes that trained on him as the knife wedged firmly into the top of her skull. As the remnants of her soul left the earth, he caught her small body and he placed her on the floor. Alex was next as he was closed into the bedroom. Jody had no clue what happened in that apartment. Tatia and Alex both appeared unbitten and unharmed. Perhaps they succumbed to the infection? Perhaps they died of starvation when their brothers disappeared because neither brother was present at the apartment. He felt as though the brothers had met the same fate as neither would willingly leave the children. Perhaps they turned and neither brother could put down the smaller ones? Jody could only venture a guess. He left Alex and Tatia in the twin sized bed together as he could not bury them and he would not burn them. Where would he do that? He could not return home with them as that would cause a flurry of confusion and emotion. Should he tell any of them the children's fate? He decided to leave that up to Julia.

She took Tatia's stuffed animal and she took one of Alex's favorite matchbox cars. She spent some time alone with them as Jody waited out in the apartment by the door. He would allow as much time as she needed. He needed the time as well to gather his own composure. He reminded himself that Tia was home. Tia was alive and playing at the farmhouse, perhaps in the field with Jay or perhaps on the swings out back near the fire pit. The girl that he loved as a small companion had been kept safe from harm by her brothers and sister, more than once in fact. The reason the farmhouse meant so much to Julia had suddenly become quite clear. Her strong feelings about family and being together at all times, whether good or bad, was to prevent the scene that unfolded in the room not too far from where he stood. Julia made sense. Her obsessive nature made sense.

"How am I supposed to leave them here, Jody?" She cried as she pulled the door closed to the room that had once been Jayson's. She had made some peace in that room at the kids' side.

"Because you have to." He answered. It was the only answer he could come up with.

"If I had left and come for them, Jody-"

"No. Don't do that. Don't start second guessing yourself or the choices you made."

"I thought they'd be ok with Jay and Tav. They wouldn't let anything happen to them."

"They would not and from the looks of them, they didn't. They got sick, Julia. That's all. Like so many others."

"That's not fair and-" She silenced herself. Her thoughts would be hers and she needed to think about them and the what if's in her own time. "This doesn't make sense. They were kids, Jody. Little kids."

Jody drew her close to him and he held her as she cried.

At least she knew. Her question had been answered and she no longer had to worry about them and she no longer had to wonder. She knew they were at peace. Jody had seen to it. How he had been able to do what she never would have been able to do on her own? Dead was better than living dead. Death was preferable to monster.

He took her back to the car and had a rough way of getting there. The area was heavy with walkers. All ages and colors ambled through the street near them. She was safely inside. She hadn't been able to think about killing after what she'd seen in the apartment. She hadn't been able to help him keep them alive. Emotional and on edge, she cried and as they approached, she panicked instead of reacted as she had earlier in the day with Chess. She couldn't raise a weapon or put up a fight. She felt she didn't have much of one left inside her. Knowing the truth didn't help at that moment. It made sense that it should, the knowledge the kids were finally at peace. But it didn't matter in the slightest as she walked away with Tatia's stuffed rabbit and Alex's matchbox car. She felt guilty. She should have been there for them. If they were ill, she should have taken care of them. She felt strongly she had been wrong to keep herself safe, hiding in a basement while her brother and sister were sick and dying, scared, turning into inhuman creatures. She felt selfish and she felt in part responsible.

Once at the farmhouse, Julia went inside and straight to her small room where she climbed onto her mattress and hid beneath the blankets. She didn't speak, move, eat or drink. She lay tossing and turning and thinking the same horrible things, seeing the same small zoms as they didn't recognize her and as they charged toward them to feed. Julia was no longer their sister, she was a source of food. Their hunger had never been sated as they'd never left the apartment. She still didn't have any resolution to the whereabouts of her father, step brother, Ellen. Where was Jayson? He was last with them. Some questions she would never have an answer to. She swore not knowing was the worst, then once she found out, she wondered if knowing was worse. Perhaps witnessing it with her very own eyes made the worst of a bad situation.

"Anything I can do, Julia?" Chess asked as he was first to stand in her doorway.

"No, thanks." She answered, because it was the truth. There was nothing anyone could do for her. There was nothing she could do to ease her pain, take away her tears.

"We've all lost people, Julia. It takes time." He said, hoping it would help to hear those words, but knowing all the while it wouldn't.

"Thanks for saving my ass this morning, Chess." She told him, looking toward the doorway. "If I didn't say it, thanks."

"You're welcome." He smiled. "If you have to go out, get me. Any time. I'll go. Alright?"

"Yes."

Chess left her be and head back through the house to the table where Jay, Tavin, Jody and Julia sat waiting for him.

"Well, Chess. How is she?"

"How do you think she is?" He mumbled, pulling the chair around to face him. He straddled it and sat with his head down on folded arms. "Mayers, what the hell were you thinking?"

"We were talking. She deserved to know." He explained. "I didn't know what we'd find. I certainly didn't expect to have to put down Tia. Or Alex. Think that was easy for me?"

"You left them there?"

"What was I supposed to do with them?" He asked, looking as distraught as he sounded.

"Can we not do this? They're both upset enough." Julia suggested. The whole ordeal had put a depressed mood over the table. Jody didn't see a difference between Tia he loved in the future, the small companion he looked after in the present or Tia that he'd given some peace to that afternoon. To Jody they were all one in the same. He was devastated having found her like that.

He felt physically ill and he had a headache. "Jo, you alright? What can I do?"

"Nothing." He answered, because there was nothing she could do. 

"I'll tell you the same thing I just told her, it takes time. I still think of Ray in that basement looking at me with those bloody eyes. I still remember what that felt like. Doesn't matter if he's alive on the sofa or not."

"Ok, then." Julia said. "So are we going to have this talk? Let's all remember the people we loved and lost talk." She thought of Antonio and Antonia Freeman. "Cause if we're gonna do that, we'll need some fucking tissues." She thought of D, her number one. The kid was alive somewhere, just not where she could hang with him and talk to him and pick on him. She thought of what she'd give to have another day with Antonio or her daughter, any of them. To have D at her side again when she was out fighting the dead. Her mother...

"Julia, not now."

"I'm not kidding or being a bitch. Antonio. Antonia. Caroline. Hannah. D. Tom. My mother. Take a name. Any god damn name." The table fell silent as they stared sadly around the room. "Andy. Luz and Rey. Shall I go on?"

"D? Remind me, who is D?" Jay asked.

"Devine." Jody chuckled. "You miss D?"

"I miss D. He isn't dead and I didn't spend a lot of time with little D, but I miss him."

"You two were inseparable in Jersey."

"So, come on. Let's spit out names and we can all sit here and cry." She looked at Jody. "Greg and Allen and Adam. Tia." She spit out a few for him. "Tav? Jay? Chess? Anyone?"

"I think you covered all the bases."

"Hayley." Chess said.

"Cassidy." Jay suggested.

"So the list goes on. More?" Julia encouraged them. She didn't like misery. She didn't appreciate they were wasting table time on this. "Mace." She said, thinking of her wife as she glanced at Chess.

"Oh, yes, definitely Macy." Tavin spoke up. Julia and Chess glared at him. "What? We talk. You all know we talk. I like her. And Hayley. I like her too."

"Ok, so the point to all this is, what? I am no shrink. So why are we sitting here dwelling on this?"

"Because it's awful."

"Because we should draw no distinction between the souls of the living here and the living from home and the living of the future. They are very real."

"What was it like, Jay?" Tavin asked. "How did you do it?"

"What? Do what?" He asked, moving closer to Julia. He could see she was as upset as Jody was over the events that transpired in the apartment in Oaks that afternoon. He put an arm around her as tears fell from her eyes. She cried quietly and let it happen despite the fact she hated doing it.

"He means Caroline, Jayson."

"Oh. Uh, I don't think I wanna talk about it."

"It's horrible." Chess admitted, his head still down. "The absolute worst part of the job. Those small faces staring up at you. Some of them alive and haven't turned yet. That fucking school up in Rochester...I still think about it. They weren't even my own children. Do you know how many kids I had to kill that day? An entire classroom of third graders."

"Wow, are you serious?" Tavin asked.

"Yes. I am."

"Um, well, Care died right after she was born. She couldn't breathe. We held her awhile and when Julia fell asleep, I held her and I fell asleep. Then all of a sudden she was alive. Stronger than when she was born. Her body was squirming around in her blanket and she couldn't move or feed if she tried. She was awake though, the eyes were the worst because it wasn't her anymore. There's a difference. Like with everybody else. So, I wasn't sure how I was gonna do it. I didn't want to-her face-she looked like me. She laid there and she looked like me, but she was so pretty too in a way, like Julia. So I used the small pocket knife and I went through the base of her skull. Julia was asleep when I did it. I didn't want her to have anything to do with it. She felt bad enough. "

"It was the right thing to do." Jody said.

"It was the only thing to do." Jay said, amending that statement. "The hardest thing I ever had to do."

"I went through weeks of counseling after that. I was never right after that. It's why I was discharged, then that fucking lab...I got dragged back in like it was an honor or something to be reinstated in something I didn't wanna do anymore." Chess said. "Know what sucks?" He asked, rising from his seat. "This is the only thing I know how to do. It's the only thing I am good at. It fucking blows."

"I'm sorry, Chess." Jay said as his cousin stood at the opposite end of the table. He looked worn and tired.

"Why? It's not your fault. I'm not blaming you."

"But it kinda is."

"Well, if we're zeroing in on a cause, yeah. But if you think you created all this, I think you're wrong. Whoever or whatever did, we won't ever know." He turned at that moment and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Julia asked.

"I have the day off. Remember, boss?"

"Yeah. The rest of you. Get the fuck away from me with your depressing shit, please."

Tavin and Jody cleared out, leaving her and Jay seated beside each other. "Me too, Jules?"

"Never." She shook her head as she let go and curled up on Jay's chest crying.

"I know, babe. It's never gonna be easy, babe." He tried to comfort her.

"I'd like a drink right now." She cried, knowing it was impossible. She left Jay hold her till her tears stopped and his never started. He didn't feel like crying. He didn't feel as though he had to. This farmhouse, he held his emotions in check. He wasn't all for the group misery like had just happened. He didn't see a point to it, especially without Julia there to share her thoughts and her sadness. Taking Julia's pain and making it their own didn't seem productive.

Jody stopped at the doorway and he set her stuff on the floor by her dresser. Her bag and her backpack with her belongings that somehow didn't seem important anymore. "I'm across the way if you need anything, Julia."

"Thanks, Jody." She replied, her voice hoarse as she spoke. "I'm sorry you had to do that." Jody didn't respond. She sat up in bed and reached for her pillow from home and she left him unfold the blanket for her, spreading it over her and her mattress.

"I guess you'll sit out the fence?" He asked.

She frowned but she nodded agreement as that was important. She didn't feel up to skull bashing at the moment and wondered how he could feel up to it. Who else was going to do it? Julia and Ray had done it all afternoon. "Yes, Jody." She replied as she pulled her knees to her chest.

When he returned she slept soundly on the bed beneath her blanket. He stood in her doorway and was unsure whether to wake her or leave her sleep? Julia was fickle like that. Jody stood in the doorway with her belongings from the car. Feeling very much like a stalker, he watched her sleep. He liked the girl. He ultimately retreated to the fire pit with Chess, Julia and Jay. He sat and listened as they spoke around him, spoke of their future and their plans, then Jay made them change the subject. He made her put her mental notebook away for the night. As they sat wrapped in a blanket next to the fire. The mood was decidedly lighter once the talk of fortresses and nests and humanitarianism ceased. Memories were drummed up. 

"I would like to divide that job up from now on." He announced. "I'll take the brunt of it, but I want to rotate like you guys used to do."

"That's fine." Julia said, understanding his choice. Whether it would be temporary or whatever his reasons, he didn't elaborate. She probed him. "Any reason?"

"Not one in particular, no."

"You'd like some free time." Julia pushed him.

"Yes and no." He was not giving anything away.

"Go wake her up, Mayers." Chess said, lighting a joint.

"No, it's not that." He replied. He never spoke of his personal, reserved in front of others, he kept it to himself. It was rare he opened up. He felt comfortable with Julia, but the others not so much. He would speak with Tavin before the other two and Julia was a touchy subject among all of them.

"You've been spending a lot of time with her lately."

"Julia, let him alone."

"It's ok though. We don't have any problem with it. I told you last night."

"Julia, I...I don't know."

"You scared of falling for another girl or something?"

"Not exactly. No." He paused. 

"It's ok to move on. That's all." She finished her statement and settled back against Jay.

"She reminds me of her. That's all."

"And there's nothing wrong with that. She's her sister. Tia was bound to have some quirks that are similar to her."

"None of us really knows her like we think we do. I think that if you dig her, then go dig in. I think you have spent the most time actually talking to her. Go learn more."

"Oh, what if she doesn't like you?" Chess suggested.

"Jody, do what you want."

The conversation ended as quickly as it started. They let the fire burn down and occasionally someone would comment or respond.

Julia lay awake in her cubby, listening to the conversation outside, thinking about her morning with Chess and then her afternoon with the ever attentive Jody. Julia threw back the blanket and swung her legs over the edge of her bed. Her small legs dangled as she reached for her Uggs. She planned on wearing Uggs through zombie world. She stepped outside and mentioned she was going to the outhouse and she'd be back. 

"All clear?" She asked half joking and half serious.

"Carry on, Fry. The coast is clear." Chess answered.

Julia continued with her flash light to the outhouse and flashed back to the zombie that had threatened her so viciously that morning.  She carried on and peed quick, but she didn't linger in the outhouse. She was glad Chess sat by the fire.

"You OK?" Julia asked as she returned and took a seat with them. They were all surprised when she sat closer to Chess than Jody.

"Yep." She whispered as she sat next to him. "It was a bad day. Right, Jody?" Jody was silent as she took the blanket off Chess and wrapped up, scooting closer to the fire. "Thanks, Jody. I wouldn't have been able to do that."

"I have seen Alex die twice now." He announced.

"How?"

"We were in a few hours, finally made it into the ghettos where the savages hunkered down and fortified against the nests. They knew what we were getting into and we went in against better judgment. They were savages, it would take more time to communicate and form an alliance with them. We went in one way to the city wall. Julia and Chess head up first and they went without the gunfire and the warring. They spoke with the savages, their leader was insane. You can't live like that and survive and not be crazy to some degree." Jody explained. "All day we fought off the dead. Old virus like they got walking around here. The team me and Tia were on went scouting places outside the wall to hunker down over night. As the talks went on and on, we heard over radio that it wasn't going as planned. Savages had lost their ability to reason a long time ago. They were a violent and dirty group of city scum like Julia said they would be. Chess warned us we were committing suicide walking up there and he meant that. He'd seen and heard what was going on, but the next gen had bigger ideals and wanted peace. Chess and Julia went in to end it, call a truce. We were going to give them whatever the fuck they wanted, including shelter, food, safe haven and work and together they would make Jersey free and clear."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just listen." He moaned. "Our team came up empty handed. Anyplace we scouted had nests waiting for nightfall and the more we looked, the more we realized we were about to become dinner. We radioed back and informed them of all of it. I was on a good team. This guy named Masters out of New York saw we were getting scared, us young ones. We never killed a zom before that day-old or nest virus. We got our dicks wet with old virus but we had no idea what was coming for us. We listened to the old school vets talking about it, the waves that would slam us when night fell. All those nests in all those shelters, they'd come out by the droves and they would decimate us. Where were we gonna go? All the war that next gen had done, they never set up a base. They couldn't. Anything they ever set up was destroyed by the savages. They would fight us during the day and then at night, they'd retreat to the safety of their walls and they'd let death fall on us."

"Where did you stay, Jody?" She asked.

"It was getting dark and we had no shelter outside the vehicles. We had no choice but to seek shelter from the very people we went to war with. Chess was against that from the jump, but Julia was scared."

"She was?" Julia asked as Tavin stepped outside for a smoke.

"Yeah. She was. She'd been on the running end of nests before. She'd come up through the nests. But this was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. The intel that was coming back from Masters, who she trusted without question, gave her all she needed to hear and she threw herself on her knife so to speak. She knew we would never make it back out of the ghetto, through the bombed out streets and burbs to the bridges. Chess had his pride and he would rather die than seek anything from them. But Julia was selfless in a way. We didn't go there and sit with them to cause trouble, but they had no faith in the free state's representatives. Hell, the free states didn't even know we were fucking in there at all. We went in with Pennsylvania and one disgruntled Philly squad. The old gen was all in Philly and were planning on driving out to North Campus for the two week ordeal Chess originally planned out."

"Did I go, Jo?" Tavin asked from across the yard.

"No, Tavin. You were going to, but Chess said to stay home. If anything had happened to them over the bridge, then you would assume control of both sectors until a replacement for Chess could be placed."

"Who would that be?"

"Terrence Singletary. The deal Chess and Julia made to take the vets from New York would have put Singletary in place, considering he helped build the fortress, had babies with Hayley and that would also settle that bullshit that caused problems between the states to begin with."

"What bullshit?" Chess asked. 

"You and Tia killed Kevin. He wasn't their blood, but he was their liaison, had been working with him since before the first nights. I think you understand."

"I do. I know these people."

"It nearly caused a civil war between the states. Again. Didn't matter if you all had good reason or not. Considering Hayley had her children with Terrence, Terrence was an integral part of keeping that civil war from happening. It was also Julia and Derrick, who controls half the state. They took you two from the fortress over the state line into New York and planned on killing off both of you the first time and Tav would have taken over from there."

"I thought Hayley's kids were Kevin's."

"They are not." Jody replied.

"Why did we kill Kevin?"

"He was molesting Tia."

"Which is why you want him dead."

"Yes." Jody answered. "So, if anything had happened in Jersey, Terrence would have taken control of North Campus and that would be his head quarters. He would not assume any control of the fortress and that would be inherited by the Morgan's. The school would be run by Miller, but overall the infantry and the sector would be Terrence's. Chess and Julia reluctantly agreed to it." He paused. "She wanted to talk to Derrick herself, but Chess was against that. Even though Julia has her ways, her words, Chess knew what she would have to do and he was not having that."

"Cause he owns her." Tavin asked.

"Exactly. From the moment she had Antonia, Chess...nevermind, it's not relevant. So-"

"I do not own her." Chess stated for the millionth time aloud.

"You may not, but Chess Morgan owns her. She is part of his property as much as the school and the sector. As much as Macy and the children and the infantry. As much as Mia and Damon. Hector and Hilda. You own all of it. It's a different world and she understood that. They all understood that."

"Oh." Chess said, distracted a moment, wondering how on earth he managed to do it all.

"Do I own-"

"You do not own anything. You live among the people. You are a different breed." Jody replied to Tavin. "You maintain a common lifestyle. You have no servants. You are very open and very accessible and people can knock on your door as any other door in the sector and you are welcoming. In fact, you should have gone to Jersey. The odds would have been greater. But you chose not to involve yourself with the war."

"But the squads were from Philly-"

"Chess is in charge of the state's infantry. You are not. So if Singletary took over the sector, he stood to own your military."

"No, I would never allow that to happen. No."

"You do this for a living. It is in your blood. If anyone was coming home, it was you. You also had other plans."

"Like?"

"Like Julia Morgan. If she could march into Jersey and face savages, then she could take on New York. I told you, no one likes New York. Also, New Jersey...Jersey is a play made for New York. Eventually, you had New York in your sights."

"Shit."

"If you could, all the free states, demolish and conquer New Jersey, then New York was not far behind. There's always tension between New York and Pennsylvania. It goes back to before the first nights." Jody saw he had quite an audience by this point so he decided to abandon the history lesson and continue with his story. "By dusk we had all met back at the rendezvous point. About a mile out from the gates. Chess had plan B, which was an unpleasant task to undertake, but we had no alternative. He wanted to leave long before nightfall, but Julia took a chance on continuing the talks."

"A gamble and she lost."

"Yeah, she lost and then we lost. She had done this before. She felt she could accomplish the task and she was wrong."

"We paid for that."

"Alexander did. He had gone in ahead of the rest of us. His entire team went over the wall and secured shelter inside the walls. As we were falling back to the coordinates they gave us, Julia and Chess were still on the inside and were preparing to leave. They were more than eager to get outta there and fall back and go over the wall. If they didn't trust us before that day, they never would because the plan B was to go over the wall, find shelter, stay over night and then depart at sun up when the nests returned to their shelters from the sun."

"I would never do that." Chess announced. "If we got caught inside their walls, they would not take that lightly. We should have taken our chances going back over the bridges."

"We were an hour out from the bridges under the best of conditions. We did not have the best of conditions." Jody shook his head. "Alex's team was taken." He said as if he were standing in New Jersey at that point instead of sitting at a farmhouse. "The savages lacked any humanity at all. They had survived war on two fronts. They had survived in the ghetto for a decade living on rodents alone, dogs and cats. What does one eat when there's no livestock? They were living in the most degraded conditions and they were angry. They were cut throat and that is exactly what they did. Machete's were placed at the team's throats and then they simultaneously cut their heads off." Jody paused a moment, choking up then gathering his composure. "Some stood by the wall and could see inside through gaps and some were lined atop the wall on vehicles and had witness to it. Some were on the ground and had no eyes on what happened. It was pretty much then that all hell broke loose. Those teams that had formed broke off and scattered. Over walls and through the streets. Savages fought a good fight, though. They lacked in modern weapons, except for those who were in charge of the different sections of the ghetto. All teams broke formation and infiltrated into the streets and we shot and killed anyone we passed. We slaughtered them inside their walls and they had no where to run. Their options were at that moment as limited as ours. They couldn't exactly run out of the walls because it was dark. Over radio we had orders. When an area was secured, we were to take their women and their children and secure them. But that didn't work out well for us because their women and their children were as savage as the adult males. They didn't care if the child was ten or not. The kid was armed and indoctrinated to fight the war. We were ordered to kill without head shots. Living took chest wounds and leg wounds and their bodies were disabled, but not their heads."

"Shit." Chess muttered.

"Yeah. We fought and killed on unfamiliar streets. We covered each others asses and we stayed alive. Of the 200 or so that went in, only 75 came out alive. But the savages faired a lot worse than we ever could."

"Why? How?"

"You don't understand the point to the body shots. Injure them, disarm them, don't kill them with head shots?" Jody asked.

"Revenge." Chess said.

"Julia gave that order. Chess wanted to move out. Gather our fallen and move out. It was our females that were savage bitches as he called them and there were only two."

"Only two females?" Julia asked.

"Yes, Morgan and Keller. They cut off their brother's head in front of them. The entire team was killed and that was bad enough, but for Julia, it was even worse because Antonio was also on that team."

"Oh my God."

"By morning the city inside the walls was burning. Their wall was down as soon as the sun came up. All those people on the ground who lay wounded, dying or dead were left in their place. We destroyed their encampment they had built over the period of a decade. We killed their food source. We left them with absolutely nothing but the dead and dying savage army that was in their ghetto streets."

"We rained hell on them. Left their dead to turn and finish off those who had survived."

"That turned on us as well." Jody mumbled.

"How's that?"

"You didn't read the New Jersey notebook. Jack Daniels. He survived that. Those that survived tortured and raped Julia for a year before he made the decision to kill her and let her turn. Originally they wanted both her and Tia. But we got Tia outta there and back to Philly with Tavin."

"Our Julia jumped out of there just in time, then."

"And took me with her. She saved my life taking me with her. They would have cut my head off too."

"They obviously didn't kill her."

Jody started laughing. "No. She made peace with the fact that shit was going south from the moment she was captured. She opted to be as crazy as they were. Whatever they planned on doing with her, she accepted it and she..." Jody searched for the right word. "Participated...it kept her alive."

"How'd she get away?" Chess asked.

Jody laughed. "She got sick. She knew she was infected again and she infected the lot of them. They would never turn her because she was already sick. Again. So not only did she believe she was she facing the fever, the coma, the whole entire fight of her life all over again with no one to take care of her. She had nothing to lose and she had an entire squad of displaced savages to deal with. So as they came to her, she bit each one of them. It was a risk, but she took it. She took out the entire group of them and then never fell into that coma. She gradually got better."

"Hey, Julia, you know about all this?" Chess asked as she stood by the addition entrance.

"I read it. Alex and I have discussed this. Jody's is a different perspective." Julia answered.  "Why are we discussing this?"

"I think he was trying to make her feel better."

"Ugh, that was a fail." Tavin said.

"Nah, not entirely. I understand where you're heading with this. There are a multitude of Alex Kellers and you may run into them from time to time. Find comfort in that even though it hurts no less. I miss Alexander. He was fun and he was rude, but he was my brother."

"Had it been you, would you have done the same, though?"

"Absolutely. Now as well. You do not kill my brother and get to live. You do not kill my people and get to live. I keep us together. To not seek retribution from those who separate us would be to accept that." She looked at Chess and then to Jayson. "Do you not feel the same?"

"I do." Chess nodded.

"So do I." Jody agreed.

"Me too." Tavin agreed.

"We all need to be on the same page, guys. Whatever it is we face. Whatever comes our way, we have to all feel as strongly or the bond will be weak and we will be weak." She only heard a few that could attest to that. It was from those she expected. Some who did not speak up were a surprise. "You cannot pick and choose amongst us who you are willing to risk your life and die for. Guys, you don't understand yet?"

"I miss when this group was tight." Jay said.

"Jayson, would you say the same?"

"Yes, I would. But-"

"There are no but's, Jay." She looked to Chess. "It's sad, isn't it?"

"Yes, Julia. It is."

"I have been staring at your faces for years." She argued. "Good and bad, whatever. I have no doubts."

"I was going to say some of us haven't been tested yet. That's all, Julia." Jay spoke up, finishing his earlier thought.

"This isn't enough, Julia." Jody stated as he rose from the ground. "Can I have the stuff on the fortress please? The binder."

"Why?"

"We were there today."

"You went to the fortress?" Chess asked. He peered at Julia as she sat crying softly, wrapped in his blanket. He instinctively placed an arm around her.

"Is that the place with the fence?" She asked, sniffling and wiping her tears with her sleeve.

"Yes, Julia." Chess replied, looking at Jody as he wondered what the kid must be thinking about him comforting the crying girl. What was Julia thinking as she allowed it? "What's there?"

"A lot of dead people." She answered. "They're locked inside this fenced in area between two buildings."

"You went home." Julia groaned. "Awe, why'd you go and do that, Jo? We aren't ready for that yet."

"I disagree. May I have the stuff? The schematic, the pics, the binder and the notebook."

"You wanna take my fortress?" She asked, grinning.

"It's mine, Mayers." Chess reminded him. "What do you propose, Jo? We take the thing now? And do what? Live there and do what?"

"Take in every living soul we find and we form the militia."

"Jody, honey, how will we feed them? How will we stay warm? How?"

"We scavenge and we take everything we need from this wasteland around us. When we run out of space, we place temporary shelter outside in the fields. When it's time to plant, we plant there."

Julia looked over her shoulder at Jayson and wanted some direction. "Care's here." She said simply.

"Phase one please, Julia." He paused. "We aren't leaving tonight." He reassured her.

"Don't mess it up. I worked hard on this. Think about what you're doing."

"I won't mess it up. Promise." Jody assured her, wanting the plan in his hands.

"That's it? You just hand it over, Julia?"

"To Jody, Chess. He's not the enemy."

"He cannot take my house. It's my house."

"Then go help him."

"But-" He sounded stressed that she was handing over the plan so easily.

"But what? I don't wanna. Not right now."

"Chess, he's in on this. He's up to speed." She explained. "You're excited though."

"Ah, so are you." She smiled.

Julia and Jay were the first to leave and Jody followed them, bugging Julia about a binder and an envelope, which contained phase I of her fortress plan. Chess sat with Julia by the fire, asked if she wished to head inside like the rest or sit outside a while longer. She chose to stay and she chose to keep the blanket around her. "I'm comfortable right here." She'd calmed some, but she shivered in the cool air. He tucked an arm back around her and she shared the blanket with him that she'd taken earlier.

"Julia,"

"Yeah, Chess." She replied. Chess felt suddenly at a loss for words, unsure of exactly what he wanted to say, honestly distracted by close proximity of their bodies beneath that blanket. "Chess?" She repeated. He wanted to keep her close and the heat radiating off the girl was nice against his body. Having her against him he didn't need a fire in any pit.

"You're hot. You got a fever?" He asked as he rubbed his hands over her arms, bringing her closer against his chest.

"Always. Anywhere between 100 and 101 normally. It's why I am always cold. I constantly have chills and-" She quieted. "It's-nevermind...I'm ok, not sick."

"Sure, Jules?"

"I am." She answered. "Hey, so you're leaving us I hear?"

"Nah, I changed my mind. I thought about it and it's selfish. If I leave, who's gonna keep you from being eaten alive at 5am in the yard?"

She laughed a bit, a soft and comfortable laugh that was warm to his ears. His girl's laugh. "I'd have to do it myself, wouldn't I? Thanks for showing me all that. I feel better now that I have done it."

"We'll have to do it again sometime, then."

"Could we? Chess? I would love to learn more, like be able to do it myself without any help. Like how to kill them all if I should have to. Cause from what I hear, you're all leaving anyway, next summer right?"

"Not sure, Julia. It's so soon, so don't worry about it."

"I know it's too soon to worry, but do you think I could stay here if you all leave? I would be able to learn what you guys know and I could go it alone, you know."

"No. I didn't plan on leaving you behind. Why would we? You're in it for the long haul, Fry. You don't want that?"

"I didn't know that." She said, her voice a hint of a whisper in the darkness of the yard. She leaned her head to the left and rested it against his chest.

"Warm?" He asked, squeezing his arms around her.

She nodded her response as he decided to hold her against him as long as she would allow it. Since cuddling up to his wife was out of the question, Julia Fry was the next best thing. He didn't push her or try to move beyond that fireside companionship, considering the girl had been on Mayer's lap the night before and she had a hard day roaming Maverick, Riverdale, the fortress with him he didn't feel comfortable doing that. Had she not been preoccupied with Mayers for the last few weeks, getting to know him and flirting back and forth with him, he may have probed the girl with his usual lines. Not with her though. Julia had said to stay away from her, but the girl herself had joined him at his side and shared his space with him, not the other way around. If he listened to wifey every time she said stay away from some pussy, he'd never get any. He'd said it before and he'd say it again, he would go where he chose with whoever he chose whenever he chose.

"What are you thinking about, Chess?" She asked, shifting her against him so she could angle her face upward at him.

"Nothing." He answered as he watched the last of the flames flicker out. He could have answered 'you' or 'wifey' or 'you women' or something as simple and crude as 'pussy', but he didn't. "You wanna head in now?" He asked, watching the red chunks of tinder glow in front of them.

"Trying to get rid of me, Chess? I'll go in."

"Nah, no. I didn't say that." Chess said, leaning from beneath the blanket and tossing a couple more pieces of wood on the coals.

"I am so sick of those four walls." She motioned to the addition. "I miss my room, my bed, my house."

"I know. It'll pass. You get used to this. It's different at first, but after a while it all gets easier. You'll get close to everyone, get to know everyone. Like Jody."

"Oh, last night?" She asked. "I was feeling some kinda way. I think it was the vodka cause I am not usually like that, so loose."

He laughed. "Loose? How far did you go?"

"Making out is all. I didn't let him touch me anywhere private."

Private...he thought to himself. "Why? You been getting to know him. He's not the right one?"

"Hey, I been getting to know you and Jay just as much. I'm telling you it was the vodka. I don't go jumping guys on the regular."

"Ok." He laughed at her as she sat curled up against his body beneath a blanket in front of a fire. He doubted she realized that she was too close in his personal space and some people would consider it an invitation to more. Was she really that innocent? She didn't seem like the type to just sit cuddled up next to anyone. He decided to press her on it for fun. "So what do you think we're doing right now?"

"I wouldn't call this jumping your skinny butt, Chess." She argued, leaning forward.

"Don't move. You're warm." He caught her, hooking his arms around her shoulders and pulling her back in place. He said in her ear. "Stay." She leaned back against him, feeling uncomfortable since he had said something. "Please." He said softly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong."

"You're not doing anything wrong. I was only messing with ya."

"I am not a slut, Chess. I mean, I am not easy."

"I realize that and I am not trying to get anywhere with you. If I wanted that, I woulda tried already."

"So you're not trying now?"

"I am not. You jumped under here with me, Julia. Not the other way around."

"Just cause we're sharing a blanket doesn't mean I wanna fool around."

"Alright. I get it." He said sternly. "But this does feel good."

She giggled. "It kinda does."

"Just so I know...who is the right one? What's he gotta do or say to be the one?"

"Um, I haven't thought about it really. I thought I knew and it never happened, so-"

"Who?" He asked curiously. "The promise ring kid?"

"No, it was someone else." She shook her head.

"Probably Jayson."

"Why would you say that?" She asked.

"Well, it was obvious for her, so why not you? You're similar, but different, right?"

"So how'd she wind up married to you?"

"Here, this place. We've known each other a long time. Shit happened, one door closed and mine opened is all."

"So you're divorced now right?"

"We are technically. She signed the paperwork and can't really mail it. The first marriage that happened here, we can't really dissolve cause there never was paperwork. So, I tossed the ring in there." He motioned toward the fire. "I count that as a divorce. It started here, it ended here."

"Awe, Chess, I'm sorry." She sighed, moving her hands to cover his. "You have to start something new, right?"

"Yeah, I will. Eventually I will go looking for it."

"What are you waiting for?"

"Nothing really. I was gonna leave and changed my mind."

"What are you looking for then?"

"I need to get laid, Jules, that's all."

"Oh, I see. So you were gonna up and leave and run around just to do that?"

"Yes." He answered honestly. "See, you haven't done that, so you don't know what you're missing and you're content to just stay and wait out that one right person."

"Isn't it better with that one right person though?"

"Yes." he answered quickly. "But if you don't have the one right person, some other wrong one will step in and handle it."

"That's just dirty, Chess."

"No, it's not." He laughed. "What do you know about dirty, Julia? Nothing. And I don't pick on you cause you're a virgin, so don't pick on me cause I am not."

"I didn't mean it to sound like I was. I just think that going around and having multiple partners is kinda gross."

"There's nothing wrong with it, but I understand where you're coming from."

When the fire burned out to red embers again, Julia called it a night. She wasn't necessarily tired, but she wanted to put all her belongings away. Chess had been up since before dawn and he was getting sleepy or she would have stayed out longer. She wondered how he functioned on so little sleep. He did say it was something that took getting used to. Keeping long hours and forcing long hours was part of the job description, and eventually he would crash and sleep an entire day. He said that day was usually Sunday.

Chess waited as she head to and from the outhouse again. Although the coast was clear, she had wanted him to wait for her. He held the door open for her. She turned right into her room and she hoisted the two bags off the floor onto her bed and set out to put her things away. Chess left her carry on and went to his room where he laid on his bed with thoughts of her lingering in his head. He'd never made it to Kay's that morning as planned, but placed it on the agenda for morning.