Julia awoke early to strong rain hitting the window and the sound of strong winds blowing across the open field. The sound of this storm alarmed her and it sounded quite brutal. She had no idea what time it was and out of habit her eyes scanned the dark room for the red digital numbers on the clock that was at home in her basement. Out of habit she reached for a cell and only felt Jess. Jess...and Jay behind her. She felt sandwiched between the two. She lifted a little and she felt Jay's arm around her tighten a bit as she moved.ia"It's only a storm, Julia."
"Sounds bad." She whispered. She wanted to look out the window, see for herself.
"It's fine." He assured her, kissing her shoulder. "And it's dark." All she would see was darkness and she knew that. No street lights, no moon. What did she plan on looking at?
"I know. Lemme go." She said, moving his arm.
"Gotta check, huh? Every storm that comes through? Really?" He knew she would. She checked at home too.
Julia eased over him, kissing his cheek as she passed and pulled her robe on, put slippers on her feet. She flipped on the lamp, on low light. Chess had rolled, she observed, as she pulled a cigarette from her box on the desk.
"Not in here." Jay moaned, seeing the cigarette in her hand.
"Sending me out in the storm, my Jay?"
"Try not doing it at all."
"Yeah, I know." She agreed as she crossed the room. She peeked out the window and saw what she expected to see, black. Nothing that surprised her, a reflection of herself in the window, hair a mess and her robe open enough to show a V of white skin on her chest. Her eyes refocused on the outside.
"Jay, turn off the light." She said, eyes concentrating on a dim red glow where her field should be. Red=death. Red should be there, she reminded herself. Red should remain stationary on her fence, immobile and stuck like prey in a spider's web.
"Whatcha looking at, babe?" He asked, stretching to turn the lamp off.
"It's red." She answered him, sounding so matter of fact. Immobile red as she scanned the perimeter of the farm. The perimeter check at night in the darkest of dark was easy, though she could not see the entire perimeter, she didn't have a 360 view from the window. Maybe...she thought, if they could make a 360 perimeter view...on the roof? She set that thought aside a moment and as the room behind her fell into similar darkness, her reflection disappeared and the red lined up on the fence, maroon-red orbs of light in a line, some larger than others depending on the amount of residual energy that remained inside the dead from the living soul.
The chill in the room bothered her, goose bumps erupting on her arms and legs. She pulled a pair of jeans on and a tee over her head. She swore something moved, a red blip on the dark screen of the outside landscape. She focused to her right across the field where the willow swayed in the wind. Another red blip on the black landscape, slowly moving through the field. "Breech." She said calmly. "In the field by the willow, Jay." She turned her body to see better, craning her neck as the couple red orbs crept through the field where the horses ran. That fence hadn't been finished yet. That fence was checked regularly, but obviously it was not strong enough to hold. Jay pulled on jeans and joined her at the window. He couldn't see anything. "Far field, by the willow. We got walkers in the field."
"How many?"
"At least two, but I only have watched a few minutes." She replied, taking his hand. She sent some energy his way, creeping into his nerves and she dragged her finger across the window pane along where the fence should be. "See?" She asked him. He nodded his response and then as she moved her finger toward the far right there was another red orb floating through the pasture. "Number three."
Julia sensed they were being pushed by the wind, in the direction that wind blew, in from the East. Usually the walkers didn't stay in the dense woods. They'd only half finished the fence out there, but where these walkers were entering the field, they had their perimeter intact as of last night.
"That part of the fence is done, Julia. We have that secure, babe. How are they-"
"I don't know? But they are." She answered, concentrating on the willow. " Maybe a tree fell? It's windy." She left his hand go to fetch her boots from the corner. She turned her flash light on and she and Jay sat in the corner and laced up.
"What are we possibly doing about this now, Julia?" He asked.
"We go downstairs, make sure nothing comes inside and we stay dark till morning." She answered, making it sound so simple.
"We shouldn't bug out."
"No." She shook her head. She answered honestly. "They're in the pasture. There old fence is between us and them. Know what that's gonna be like in the mud, wind and rain, Jayson?"
"And?"
"What is safe? Safe is an illusion." She muttered. "We keep em off the porch and out of the house. I don't think going out there to vehicles is a good idea. What do you think?" Julia asked, taking her cigarette and her lighter with her as she lit the flashlight and head down the steps. Jay was on her heels and once they got to the landing, the glow from the fireplace gave them some night vision in their immediate space. Jayson went to wake Jody and Chess, then returned to her in the kitchen where she smoked by the back door. An annoyance, but her options on an appropriate smoking area were few and far between.
"Should I wake up my brother?"
"Don't get him all upset please. But he should learn this, yes." She replied as she peeked out the curtain on the door. Julia moved to the window by the table and she looked out that curtain, peering into the side yard. Red orb on the porch, which was still and she waited a moment before she moved. It was waiting for movement. It was waiting for something, a signal from the environment before it started its awkward gait along a wrap around porch. It was like a path that led to their front door, or with any luck, right off the porch. Only one that she saw, but she couldn't fathom how it got through the fence from the pasture onto the porch. All this would come to light once there was light, once this storm passed and once the darkness gradually gave way to light of day. Julia passed through the main seating room and into the living room, moving quietly along the wall and over creaky floor boards that gave away each footstep. Her fingers crossed with each step that the elements outside were loud enough to mask the creaks beneath her feet.
"What are we dealing with, Julia?" Chess asked, joining her by the window. He watched as she peeked through the curtain. A group by the front gate, a handful of glowing red orbs as they passed through.
"Front gate's open." She answered. "Five red out there. One on the porch. At the least, 3 in the pasture." She gave him what she saw and she could not guess about what else lurked in the stormy darkness. "We waking the house up or staying dark?" Julia questioned him as she could go either way. "Bug out plan."
"Yeah, we hold off on it though. It's been coming down pretty hard out there. You know what the ground looks like after a long rain."
"I do. I explained it. We going to see Ann, Chess?"
"Let them come." Jay whispered. "Stay dark."
"The plan is to bug out, which I don't really feel like doing at this point in time." Chess replied calmly. "I see no one wants to be overrun, but I doubt that there's so many out there that we will be."
"Stay dark and keep them out of the house. Until it's light out." Jay suggested, which made sense to him. Running around in the dark would only put those outside at risk and then put the ones inside the house at risk. Jay opted to leave the gate open and leave the pasture alone. Let the dark and the storm do its job and provide them the cover they need.
"Alright, sounds like a plan." Chess agreed. "I can handle either plan."
"Not everyone can handle either plan. We only been at this a few weeks, Chess. These people don't know what the hell's going on and we're weak."
"We are not weak." Chess argued.
Jay looked over his shoulder at Ray who was still asleep on the sofa. "These people are scared. They are not the same people that came through this with us." Jay looked nervous. "You always ask me to trust you, well trust me this time. You try walking us out there without drilling first and you're gonna lose people. You will." He stated firmly.
"We still need them downstairs."
"No we don't." Jay answered. "If we have to do the bug out from the second floor, I will get them where they need to go. Let them sleep through it like nothing is going on."
"Jody?" Julia asked.
"I agree with Jayson."
"Tavin?" Julia asked, noticing he was dressed and listening quietly by the doorway to the addition.
"Um, what would you do if you got this as a call, Chess?"
"We would have lighting. We would have a perimeter set up. We would have gear. We would have-"
"And if you didn't have those things?"
"We'd ride it out till daybreak and clean it up when it was done. This is secluded. The team would have that on its side. It is a small area. This is not a problem. Two men-"
"So Jay is right?"
"Yes, he is." Chess answered, leaning against the wall by the door. He didn't bother looking outside. He knew he could not see. "Everyone pick a door and stay alert." He slid his back down the wall and took the front door.
"What time is it?"
"Round three." Chess replied. "We got hours, so sit tight. We'll see what we're dealing with first light."
As the hours passed the storm sounded as if it was only worsening. As dawn approached, the noise from the storm awoke several in the addition who came out only if to try and use the bathroom or see if the house was still standing. Kelly was first out, looking for Tavin and he sent her upstairs when she emerged from the room. He had a low conversation with her, had her dress and head up to Julia and Jay's room to sit out the storm and be closer to Tarin should he stir. When Kelly got upstairs she found Jess in bed and woke her, asked her to dress and stay quiet.
"What are you doing up here, Jesslyn?" Kelly asked, flicking the lamp on low. She gathered Jess's clothes and tossed them to her on the bed. She turned the lamp off.
"Sleeping." She answered, pulling on her tee shirt and her yoga pants from the day before.
"You fuck them?" Kelly asked, sitting on the bed next to her.
"Yes." She answered. "Well, they fucked me." She whispered, getting up and looking out the bedroom door. She saw Jay and Jody sitting on the steps talking quietly. "What's going on?" She asked anyone and no one in particular.
"Zoms in the yard. Go back to bed, Jess." Jay answered.
Jody looked over his shoulder and saw Jess above them on the landing.
"Are we safe?" She asked blatantly, placing hands on her hips.
"What do you think?" Chess asked from the front door.
Jess turned and went back to the bedroom. She opened the curtain, looking onto the farm, barely visible as the night gradually faded into day. Rain still poured and the wind was letting up a bit. She went back to the hall. "How do you know? I don't see anything."
"We know, Jesslyn." Chess replied sternly. Julia sensed the tension off Chess as Jess turned again and left the hall. Chess had grown to be the type A personality. He didn't like to give explanations and he was not in the mood for chit chat. He was already moody and seeing Jess upstairs made him no happier. She wondered if it bothered him or Jody. Perhaps no one cared. Perhaps it was all in her head. She sat at the table by the window and she waited for something to happen. Anything to break the monotony and when the elephant in the room slowly faded away, Julia focused on the window. She patiently watched as the dark turned to a dim light. She even drifted off to sleep in her chair and she startled awake a bit later when she heard Tavin coming out of the addition.
"They're starting to wake up. What do you want me to tell them?" He asked.
"What do you think you should tell them?" Chess asked, his head resting on folded arms which rested on his bent knees. Chess sounded very dry and very grumpy, but he was trying to get the former leader to think like a new leader. What would Tavin do? Chess laughed to himself. How the tables had literally turned on him. What was once a very pleasant and peaceful existence for him on this farm was turning into a headache. A simple headache. Very basic things that Tavin should know were over his head. "I mean what did you tell Kelly? Try that, Tavin." Chess changed his tone of voice and he knew as well as the others that eventually Tavin Keller would come to be his greatest asset. He had lived so normally for the last few years that he had softened considerably. Once he got over the fear, as Jay had indicated, then he would strengthen and he would lead. He would possibly come to take his very own place or take Julia's place altogether as one. He needed to grow into his zombie world persona. It wouldn't happen over night. One does not build confidence, experience and a clear head over night. He had calm in the face of trauma due to his job, but calm in the face of life or death, his own or his family's, he'd yet to fully realize it. The largest problem was denial. Once they phased out of denial, then all would be right in zombie world. Since Julia could no longer do as she pleased, that would take time. This time around he'd need to figure that out on his own without her influence. He had seen slivers of it at home recently, before the great nest at the apartment. He made sense when he chose to think. Chess needed the man to think instead of looking to others to think for him.
Chess hopped off the floor and left the door uncovered. Julia looked to the left and kept an eye there and at the table where she sat. Chess followed Tavin and they stayed in the addition. She drifted in and out of sleep around that time, interrupted as footsteps made their way from the addition to the stairs. When she stirred, she looked from window to door and the back over her shoulder to the door behind her. As the people woke and stirred, the noise level gradually picked up. As the sky grew light, Julia finally had enough and the curiosity was killing her, so she climbed the stairs and looked out the window. Not exactly an overwhelming amount of dead, but the breech on the fence was concerning. Two places were visible from her vantage point, about thirty yards from the willow a tree had come down. Another fifty yards a branch, a rather large one, had fallen directly onto the unfinished portion of the fence, allowing entrance, though this one more difficult to traverse than the other. She saw 15 zoms in the pasture, which was a manageable number. That was not their problem at hand, however. The fence would need repair. "Shit." She muttered to herself. Kelly joined her at the sill and she looked out over the field where Julia pointed out the fence breech. "That'll take all fucking day."
"In the rain too, Julia." Kelly added.
Julia left her companions in her room and she head to the addition. "Two breeches, one tree and one branch in the field." She turned from them and she walked away.
"You can see out there?"
"Sure, head up. You'll see what we're dealing with." She frowned.
The streak had ended. Their land was no longer untouched by the walking corpses. It was possible to have their fence breeched. If not by the zom's physical bodies, then by mother nature herself. She was followed by Chess. "How do we fix it?" He asked, arms folded over his chest.
"I don't fucking know. I didn't build it." She answered shortly. She calmed herself down. Upset by the breech and nothing else. "We will figure it out."
"Do we have a back up fence laying around, Julia?" He asked.
"We will figure it out." She assured him, going to the coffee pot. She poured them each a cup of coffee. "Gonna be a long fuckin day. That much I know. I only looked out my window. That's not even a complete assessment of the entire perimeter." She replied. "This storm's not over yet either."
"Once the dead are cleared, we'll have to charge up the power tools. We got enough gas for the saws I think."
"I think so. One thing at a time." She sighed. She peeked out the kitchen curtain. "It's light enough now. So let's finish our coffee and then head out." She suggested.
"Yep." He nodded, rounding the kitchen to the living room. Julia lit a cigarette and smoked while she waited out the rest of her people.
"I wanna go out." Karen volunteered excitedly as she came in the kitchen for coffee. She fixed herself a cup.
"Fine." Julia answered, noticing that Karen had Chess's gun on her, tucked into her jeans.
Julia peeked through the door curtain again. "3." Julia said. She walked to the window overlooking the table and peeked through the curtain. "2 on the porch." She moved along to the next window and there were dead in the yard. "5." She sighed, setting the curtain back. "That's what I see. There may be more."
"10 total. So, how did they get in?"
"The gate is open, Karen. They walked in." Julia answered as she peered out the window at the gate. The wind must have moved it. She would need to look at the latch and make sure it was functional and sturdy. All the storms they'd endured and never had that gate opened due to winds or storms. She found this suspicious and wondered if it had been latched securely when they had returned home the day prior. Jody joined her by the window. "Hey, you shut that yesterday, right?"
"Of course and I checked it when I did checks." Jody replied.
"Ok," She nodded.
"It was shut, Julia." He stated.
"You were not distracted at all with your female companions?"
"No, I was not distracted by any female companions."
"Julia is not a distraction?"
"No, she is not." He replied. "Why would she be a distraction?"
"The tears and the-"
"Oh, that? Well, no not really. I didn't allow it."
"You didn't allow it?"
"I asked her to stop it and she composed herself and we continued."
"What did you think I meant, Jo?"
"I am accustomed to having a female at my side. That is not an issue for me."
"Ok."
"She is not a worthy companion anyway, Morgan."
"Excuse me?" Julia asked.
"In the context of killing, of course. That is what I meant."
"Oh, alright then."
"She also would have to want that."
"I doubt she wants that." Julia shook her head.
"She does not." He replied. "She would be another who enters for a boyfriend and we cannot have that."
"Oh, really." Julia smiled. "Like the idea of a promise ring, Jodeeee." She asked, because she knew he'd reply the affirmative. He normally kept his personal to himself.
"I'd be happy with breathing at this point, Morgan."
"Jess was breathing." Julia whispered. "What happened there?"
"Eh, she's not my business." He answered. "Jayson said-"
"Hey, are we ready?" Chess called, coming at them with his coffee mug and Tavin trailing not far behind him.
"We are, yes. Karen wants to go out."
"Sure. Fine." He agreed, looking to the kitchen where his aunt stood ready with his gun and her coffee. "You stick with me then." He said to her. "It's not all about killing. You can watch how it's done."
"I know how to use a shank, Chester." She responded rather annoyed as she set the cup down.
"Ok, then." He grinned, heading to her side.
He and Karen head out the back door before anyone else even had a chance to follow. Julia and Jody stared at the closed door and chose to go through the front. This could have been better organized, Julia believed. She reminded Jody there were two on the porch and before they even got to them, Karen had them down on the ground. She killed like she was used to it and she moved faster than Chess did himself. She was cautious too. She mentioned, when all was said and done, that the zoms didn't fight back. She found them easier than the live targets, which she had come across during her incarceration. Julia and Jody didn't have very much to do as she and Chess exterminated their threat without having anyone else lift a finger.
"So much for stay with me." Chess laughed.
"I been dying to do that." She laughed back. "Feels good doesn't it, kid?"
"Oh, well, let's go get some target practice in. The field has some walkers you could shoot at. Would you like that?" Chess walked away with his aunt at his side and they head off around the house, leaving Jody and Julia on the porch.
"Well, Jody. I guess we will close the gate." She suggested, walking off the porch onto the steps.
"I suppose we could get rid of these bodies, too." He added, going the opposite direction to get gloves from the fence supplies.
"Um, you guys done already? Coulda let us know you were coming out, Julia."
"This was all Chess and Karen, Jayson. Me and Jody watched."
"True." Jody called, tossing an extra set of gloves toward Jay.
"They ain't burning. They're too wet." Jay said, pulling on gloves.
"Gotta get em outta here though."
"Carry on." Julia waved Jay over to Jody and the moving of the dead. She was not carrying dead bodies. She looked at Tavin. "You, come with me."
"Where we going, Red?" He asked as she led him to post one.
"We're gonna do a check. Look for more dead and any more breeches real quick, then head out to the field and assess the damage and then-"
He held up his hand at her. "Fine, you lead, I follow."
Just like old times minus the field fucking. "How about you lead and I follow, Tav?"
"Sure, Jules." He smiled.
The sound of gun fire from the pasture didn't bother any of them. Jay had woken the entire house and warned them that there would be gun fire. Stay inside. The majority of them all watched from the second floor through the windows.
"You alright, Tav? I know it's weird."
"I am, yeah. That's a good word for it." He agreed.
"I am worried about you."
"I just don't know what the fuck I am doing."
"Takes time, comes with experience. You will get there. Tavin, I expected too much from you from the beginning."
"You all act like I am supposed to know all this."
"We forget that you weren't here. It's hard remembering that. It's just as hard trying to live up to that. I'm sorry if that's what I was doing."
"I got some potential, Red. I need to figure out my own way." He laughed. "Know what surprises me, though? Jayson. He's so bossy and angry here."
"Welcome to zombie world." Julia agreed. She picked up her pace and rounded to the rear of the farm, past the field to the fence where she and Tavin speared and killed those that were on the spikes. Jay and Jody had the bodies loaded up and were waiting till the pasture was clear to continue there with the truck. They'd all load those bodies as well, then dispose of them in a burn pile when the land dried out or when the bodies dried out, whichever came first.
Chess and the dads were already at the fence when Julia and Tavin arrived there. As Jay and Jody lifted and stacked bodies in the truck bed, she and the men walked along the length of the fence and took in the extent of the damage the storm had caused. John suggested they leave the truck in the pasture and they could use it to pull the tree and the debris off the fence. They'd cut up the tree when that also dried out. They stood, the four of them, in a soaking late September rain and wind as they all opted to fix this mess when the rain stopped. Hopefully it would end before too long and being that there was no TV, no weather forecast, they would have to ride it out and wait.
"Wait?" Julia asked. "We can't do anything now?" She whined.
"Short of pulling the trees off this fence, which I would also advise against because the ground is soaked like a sponge, then I would say no." Cal answered.
No. Julia did not like the word no.
"The tree itself is a natural barrier. See how they got trouble getting through? Some make it and some don't."
"What I would do is make sure they do not get past that fence." John said, pointing across the field to the fence by the house. They'd broken through the fence and they had placed a gate there when they'd started to deforest the area for their fire wood.
"I-uh-are you sure?" Julia asked. This idea made her nervous. Walkers wandering the pasture that close to her house and her people frightened her.
"Yes." Chess replied, soaked to the bone in his clothes.
"We have to pull another all nighter then? Um, how we watching the fence? I don't want them near the house. So..." Julia's mind was churning, trying to think of their safety for the overnight hours. Daylight was a different story and they could use them as target practice for those who were inexperienced shooting.
"Julia, there's a lot of time till night fall. We will come up with something."
"But-"
"Julia, you heard what I said." Chess reminded her.
"Yes, Chess." She answered, shivering as the wind cut through her wet body.
"There is nothing you can do out here, Julia."
"I need to know-"
"I will remember." He raised his voice and he was not pleased with the prospect of having to do around the clock surveillance on the back yard. He struggled to see an upside to this morning drama or breech. Arguing with Julia didn't help and her defiance didn't help. "Food, woman. I am starving."
Julia's jaw dropped and as her mouth hung open, they all stood waiting for her to react. "I meant see if someone is making it. Please, Julia. We will take care of this."
"Oh, uh, fine. If there's anything-"
Chess gave her a wet and displeased look, one she had seen before and she turned on her heels and head back toward the house. As she passed through them no one could believe she backed down so easy.
"Chess, what the hell?" Jay asked.
"She's cold." He shrugged.
"You don't send her away."
"She heard the options." Chess shrugged. "What's she gonna do, Jay?"
"Don't fucking raise your voice at her. That's not cool."
"She raises hers." He retorted.
"So, this fence is on hold and that fence is the problem. We should move on to the fence that we can deal with today." Tavin announced bringing them back to the point. "Leave the truck out here. We'll need it tomorrow."
"Agreed." Chess nodded.
Cal, John, Tavin and Chess passed Jay and Jody who stood by the truck.
"He has always spoken with her like that." Jody told Jayson. "It's how they speak to each other."
"I don't like it."
Chess turned from his group and let them walk on ahead of him. "Do you have a problem? Today of all days, Jayson." Chess asked.
"I do not like the way you speak to her."
"Let her decide whether she likes how I speak to her, whether she can live with it or not."
"You don't dismiss her. You aren't at work."
"Think I-" Chess stopped and looked at Jody. "You, get outta here." Jody looked to Jay and then started walking away. When he was out of ear shot, Chess continued. "It feels like it. That's all this has been from day one, Jay. Every bore ass problem has come my way. Every fucking headache has been passed on to me. I'll speak with her the way I choose. You got no say. She left because she chose to leave, not because I told her to."
"I know exactly what's been passed on to you."
"Don't make this out to be something it's not. You're letting your personal interfere with this shit."
"How am I not supposed to take this personal? It's all personal, Chess."
"You wanna make it personal? I am not going to argue and fight with you about Julia. You shouldn't wanna take it there either. We decided that a long time ago."
Chess pulled and aimed his gun. "Move." Jay ducked and Chess fired over him, the bullet from his gun penetrated the approaching walker's skull. "Jay, I know you're immune, but pay some fucking attention."
"I knew you'd shoot it." He said calmly, standing back up.
"So, is this about Julia or is this about Morgan? They're two very different people."
"No they're not."
"You gotta look at it that way or it's not gonna work this time, Jay. It's how I do it."
Jay stared at him. "You see her as two different people?"
"At home, no. Here, definitely. I separate her in my head like that. It's necessary."
"She ask you to do that?"
"No. I have to. I didn't wanna be here in the first place. There was a time I would say I would stand anywhere she wants me. Now though, I didn't get a choice in the matter. The girls made that choice for me."
"They were scared."
"No, they were not. Jess maybe, but Julia was thinking survival. Julia took prisoners. She should have left us all at home and never came back. That's what they wanted. They thought you two were there in real time, not here. They didn't know. It all woulda died down, Jay. So are we gonna fight?"
"Like fist fight? No."
"Scared?"
"No. I will if I have to, but it's not all that serious, Chess."
"Good, another time. I really don't feel like half killing you today." He asked. "I wanna smoke and I am fucking hungry."
"Smokin' in the barn?"
"Yeah, let's roll one."
"Half killing me, huh? You think can take me like that?" He asked.
"Yes." Chess announced with confidence.
The closer they got to the house, they smelled breakfast cooking. The odor was appealing, but they wanted to smoke first.
"You done fighting, guys?" Julia asked as they passed through the yard to the barn.
"We don't fight about girls." Chess replied. "You clear the barn?" He asked as he and Jay moved forward.
"The barn is closed up." Julia answered. "So we didn't go in."
Chess and Jay armed as they pulled the doors open, each pulling a door and each ready for something or nothing. Nothing was what they found and they smoked together in peace till Julia joined them. She sat on a hay bale beside Jay and he passed to her.
"What's wrong?" Jay asked as she hit the joint.
"Our visitor won't leave me alone." She answered. She took another long drag and held it. She started coughing as she let the smoke exhale from her lungs. She passed back to Chess across from Jay.
"She crying?"
"Not that visitor." Julia rolled her eyes at Jay. "Julia's helping Kay with breakfast. She wants to pitch in and make a difference. I'm talking about Jesslyn."
"Shoulda seen that coming." Chess commented. "Why do think I didn't go there?"
"I told you, Jay."
"So what? What's the worst that could possibly happen?"
Julia and Chess turned their heads toward him when he asked that question. "You sacrificing my sanity, Jay?"
"Same page, Julia. Same page."
"She's reading ahead, Jay."
"Like you're not?" Chess laughed.
"I got fucking shit to do. I don't have time to-sorry. I shouldn't complain."
"By all means, please complain about all the fucking sex you're having." Chess said. "I can complain about all the sex I am not having."
"Maybe farmers daughter in there could help you out?" Julia laughed.
"That's a lot of time and effort, don't you think?"
"Where are all the apocalypse hoes at when you need em?" Julia asked, rising from her seat next to Jay. She head back to the house, leaving them smoke in peace.
"Gotta start rescuing the hoes, Chess."
"Where they at, Jay?"
"Let me know when you find them. Eventually they're all gonna get on our nerves. Remember?"
"Well, I didn't expect that." Chess chuckled. "I do remember someone saying something about new pussy and then when he got home, he stuck with old pussy."
"That's what Julia said." Jay shrugged. "I stick with what's comfortable. Moving out of the comfort zone lands me crazy bitches like Stef."
"Should I even ask how you got tangled up with her in the first place?"
"Pussy." He answered. "A booty call. That's it."
"And you devoted all that time to a booty call? Seriously?"
"She needed help and I helped her out and she helped me out. Even trade till she tried killing me. She was nuts, man."
"What's her address? Know where she is cause I like nuts. I like that a lot."
"Dude, you were in her place."
"Now, where though? Where did you leave psycho?"
"Maverick. Clayton and Brook in the old mansion with the two fire places. Go tap that, it's worth the ride."
"Really, Jay?"
"Best pussy ever."
"How many have you had tho, Jay? I'm trusting your assessment of-"
"Tavin agreed. Would you rather hear it from him?"
"Awe, come on why on earth did he do that?"
"Uh, it was something that happened before the lab. He infected her in the first place. They fucking go to meetings together. She told me thinking I would be all pissed off."
Chess quieted down and let the conversation fizzle. He had always assumed that they all knew everything about each other, too much, but what they did know only scratched the surface. He doubted he'd be out on the street tracking down Stef or anyone else anytime soon. Jay's view on Stef as he talked about her, Chess found amusing. Crazy, psycho, bipolar, alcoholic and sexy as fuck had been his exact words. Opposite of that, he also described her as overly emotional, needy, and whiny.
They head inside for breakfast and Chess made it his mission to track down the brother and interrogate him on Stef. He only mentioned her name and Tavin looked at him like he was summoning up a demon. He hushed him at the mention of Stef's name. Tavin swatted at him as he pulled him out of the dining area and into the living room. "Never say her name again." He looked uncomfortable.
"Jay knows."
"Kell doesn't." He replied. "Look, she's a nut. When Julia says stay away from someone, you should listen. Cause she is just insane."
"Worse than Julia?"
"100 times, yeah." He nodded. "Listen, I am used to girls saying they are down to fuck and when they say it, I usually am the one who winds up doing all the fucking. Not this one. This one, though, Chess, is amazing. One of the few who I can truly say fucked me."
He paused and looked around. "So Jay's not lying when he said-"
"He is not a liar, first of all and about this girl, everything he said good or bad is true. She is an obsessive little thing. Don't do it unless you can devote the time to it. If I didn't have Kell and Tarin, I would still be there and she parties too. She's a drinker, she's into drugs. She's absolutely the best fun a man can have and then some."
"He said she's like Julia, though."
"Julia got nothing on this one. Even at Julia's best, weirdest, craziest and most extreme...this one is...not better, but different." He stepped away. "That's a warning, Chess."
Chess had a plate ready for him made by young Julia. As Kay cooked, Julia doled out food and she stood talking with the original Julia quietly. Their day was supposed to have started differently. Julia had plans for herself and her clone. He had planned on getting Kay and Katherine home. He stood to the side with Kay and watched her cook. She seemed comfortable in Luz's kitchen. It smelled fantastic.
"Kay, you seeing anybody?" He asked. He chose to be up front about it.
"Why do you ask?" She questioned him quickly.
"Well, um," He thought fast. "You got anyone to help you now that you dad's gone?"
"It's just me and Kay now, Chess." She replied, setting down her utensils on the block in the center of the kitchen.
"Did you eat, Kay?" He asked.
She shook her head.
"Eat. Sit." He said. "I'll get you a plate. What would you like?"
"Nothing thanks." She answered. "You all have done enough for us."
"Well, the stay includes food and since you made this...this is really good by the way." He complimented her. "So, um would you like to stay or would you like me to take you home now or what would you like?"
"We cannot stay here." She looked away from him. She looked at his family, the small group of well fed people who gathered at the table across the room from them. "Thank you for everything. For helping Katherine. If we hadn't found each other yesterday, I would be lost without her."
"If we had not found each other, I would have looked for her family. We would have together, me and Katherine. And if we didn't find anyone, we would have taken care of her."
Kay smiled as he spoke. "Thanks."
"It's how we are and you two are not alone out there any more than you were before. Understand?"
"I can't ask you to do anything more than you have already done." She responded softly. She then stepped away from the kitchen and separated herself from him.
Pride? Chess wondered, watching her walk away. He let her go and he finished eating his breakfast.
"Would you like some more, Chess?" Julia asked, approaching him with a smile. She touched his arm, then took his plate. Her touch sent little electric sparks through his forearm. He jumped a bit.
"No, thanks, Jules."
"You ok?"
"Yeah, you shocked me." He answered, rubbing his arm.
"No, I didn't." She giggled.
He felt it sure as day, but he wasn't about to argue with her. He'd learned it wasn't a good idea over the years. He figured the same of this one. Julia always needed to be right. It was a personality trait, one of those quirks in life that carried over from Julia to Julia. Julia...he moved away from her. He didn't need her shocking him anymore. That touch would drive him nuts.
He found Kay upstairs in the kids' room. She stood in front of the window and looked over the field. He looked out as well and scanned for walkers. None, but the storm had let up. They would straggle through eventually and then they'd have to go back out.
"I didn't mean to upset you." He said. "You may need someone one day. You should know I'm here. We all are."
Kay was quiet. "So, what do you want from me?"
"Nothing, Kay." He answered. "Maybe a pie. Can you bake?"
"I certainly can. What kind?" She laughed as her tears rolled over her cheeks.
"Eh, surprise me."
He stood and talked with Kay awhile, looking the whole time out over the farm. This view was so common place to him. So very different for her. She was a soft spoken and nice girl. A teenager. He was a teenager running through the apocalypse once too. She'd lost her entire family and he could understand how that felt, because the first round he had lost everyone as well. That's how these people became family and this house became a home. Conditions had changed and circumstances were different. He felt just as lost this time as he did the last time only for different reasons. He didn't sense the bond this time. Maybe that would pass?
"How old are you, Chess?"
"20." He answered.
"You seem older."
"I been told." He replied. "So do you."
Kay said she had no choice in the matter. As the oldest she took over for her mother when she passed away. She had been bit during the first week of the plague, as she called it. She died within hours of that bite. They'd been driving in from Ohio when they were caught in a horde. They'd stopped for sleep and when her parents were outside the car, her mother got the bite that would end her life. Chess had been under the impression that Kay was farm raised and she was not. She'd led a suburban life in Ohio, but nothing like the farm where they wound up. Her father had left the farm life, had an education and was a teacher in a middle school in Ohio. His family owned that farm and he had grown up working on it and knew the way of life. He had chosen to leave it for his own reasons and he chose to return to it when he realized like a lot of others that civilization was about to meet its destruction. They needed to get as far away from the city and suburbs as possible. Kay's family arrived with a dying mother to a farm that housed her uncle and his family as well as her grandfather. She hadn't been to that farm in a couple years, but she would spend time over the summers there in her childhood. All the sisters did. They knew how things worked and they knew the routine of farm life. The transition was not hard at first, but as the family gradually disappeared on various supply runs or accidents or succumbed to infection, they dwindled to just her father and the three sisters.
"So the dresses-" Chess grinned.
"Were already on the farm. We left with very little. We left in summer. We left with no heavy clothes and no warm clothing. Summer I do not look like this." She frowned, fluffing the length of the floral dress that hung a little loose on her. "The hats, though, are cute."
"You are not Amish?"
"No more than you." She answered. "Traditional. I like that word."
"Well, you're nice. I like you."
"You're not so bad yourself." She smiled. "So you driving us home?"
"I can make some time for that. You got some important things to do or what?"
"Not in particular, no. But we're just in the way here. You have a lot going on out there." She folded her arms on the window sill and leaned over.
"Been one problem after another lately."
"What is worse than a world ending infection?"
"This isn't my first world ending infection."
Chess gave her a little bit on his back ground. He gave her a rundown of the people that he lived with and how they all knew each other. He told her about work. He told her about the team that set out to save the world, stopping the spread of this infection one incident at a time.
"That's great though, Chess."
"See how it worked out." He lamented, pointing to the breech in the fence as one of the dead passed through. "How do you keep them out?"
"You'll see. It's nothing like this." She answered. "Hey, go to work. You take us when you can."
"Not work anymore. This is life, Kay."
"This is everyone's life. I could help."
"Nah, I got this."
"From the sounds of it you got a lot to worry about."
"Come get to know us." He smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Trust me, Kay. We don't bite."
He took Kay back to the first floor and he left her with the family as he and Jay went outside to deal with the next group of death that had entered the pasture. He and Jay spent the afternoon in the field sitting on the hood of the truck in rain that ranged from drizzle to downpour.
"This shit fucking sucks." Chess complained. "I am serious, Jayson. I am not a happy, man." Chess raised the weapon and fired at the latest trespassers. "Did you ever think we would wind up back here doing this?" Chess was not much of a talker anymore, but he felt a rant coming on. There weren't many people he ranted to. Usually he wound up beating Julia's ear with a middle of the night phone call and even then he would be drunk. Since Jay sat to his left, he was the lucky one. "Where's your girlfriend now?" He asked, thinking she would usually be loving this. She always loved sitting in the middle of this zombie drama.
"You sent her in the house cause she was cold. Said we'd handle it." Jay reminded him. "What do you expect?"
"Know what I fucking think, Jayson?"
"What's that?"
"We need to act out phase fucking one right fucking now." He yelled. "She's talking about running phase two from this place, why don't we phase one and then phase two? Isn't that doing shit backwards?"
"She's doing what we asked her to do, you know. She ain't supposed to be doing any of this. It's supposed to be an easy year. It's supposed to be fucking fun and we're supposed to plan and chill, Chess."
"You put her back in charge with your speech, Jay."
"I know, because it's the way it should be. We shouldn't be phasing anything. She's supposed to be taking time."
"Aren't you supposed to be taking time too? Both of you lost the kid, Jay."
"Well, I don't think that is the priority right here and now." Jay raised his gun and shot the approaching death between the eyes.
"You're a pretty good shot."
"I'm good at a lot of things."
"No one said you weren't, Jay. Man, what is your problem today?"
"There's a million things I'd rather fucking do."
"I hear that."
Julia heard the sporadic gunfire. Jess had her against her bedroom door and she wanted more to be outside than inside at that moment. "Jess, hurry, baby girl. I got shit to do." Jess on her knees, her head between Julia's parted legs.
"I think your marine can handle a few dead." She looked up with a devilish grin and reapplied her tongue on her already sensitive clit.
"Fuck, Jess. You're so good at that." Julia groaned, distracted and watching as her head moved between her legs. "Baby girl, my place is out there." She groaned as Jess sent shivers through her body. Jess fingers worked inside her, twisting and turning as she tightened around her delicate strokes. She'd forgotten what Jess felt like pleasing her. She'd forgotten her touch and the feel of her mouth on her body.
"Come to me, Jules." She cooed, her voice so light and happy as she pulled her waist.
Julia lowered to face her on her knees. She kissed her. "Jess, today is not the day for this." Julia whined, kissing Jess's neck. Her hands roamed around her soft white skin, settling on her ass and pulling her against her body. "Jess, baby, we have to do this later?"
"I want you, Julia."
"Honey, I know, believe me, I know, but there's things happening today and-"
"Ok, later." She smiled.
Julia separated from her former girlfriend. She yanked her jeans over her bare ass cheeks and hopped onto her feet. Jess stayed on her knees in front of her, smiling and happy. Later...Julia groaned inwardly...later. Julia affixed the tools of the zombie trade to her waist and finally in dry clothes she head out to the field where Jay and Chess sat soaking wet on the hood of the old ford truck. She couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but they appeared to be bickering. Julia climbed in the truck bed and then over the cab to the hood and she slid down between the two of them.
"Where you been, Jules?"
"Jesslyn." A simple one word answer was all she provided and she believed all the response she needed.
"Awe, come on." Chess whined.
"Finally got away from her." She looked at Chess and then looked at Jay. "I'm sorry. I know I should have been here." Neither said a word. "You know I love this shit."
"We know." Jay nodded.
"Hey, um, why are we shooting them exactly? You got your knives."
"Cause we're lazy this time, Julia." Chess responded annoyed with her.
"Ok. I am sorry though."
"You in love already?" Chess asked, lighting a cigarette. The rain had let up enough to finally do it and smoke without it being moistened by rain drops.
"I have no feelings for her." Julia answered, shaking her head. "I broke that off a long time ago."
"You liar. You feel nothing?"
"I felt something." She snickered, taking a drag off the cigarette as he held it up to her mouth. "Love, not exactly."
Julia couldn't understand why Jess was so emphatic about her after all this time. How much memory could she possibly have of their relationship? Maybe it was their environment? Julia could see the doomsday romance aspect of the budding infatuation, but overall, she felt confident in regards to her survival. Jay sat quietly as Julia and Chess bantered back and forth about Jess, about their afternoon in the rain. They spoke to each other with a cool comfort that not many people had. Chess gave her the run down on Kay and her home life. The fact that her family had traveled from as far as Ohio to Lancaster, Pa with only losing one person was a miracle. How they'd navigated through the first days and nights was, as Chess described, luck. Kay wasn't real forthcoming with the memories and Chess sensed she didn't want to go there or she didn't want to remember. Could have been a touch of both. He understood entirely. He'd also lost people during that transition from normal life to nightmare. For the most part they all agreed it eased up. Those who were strong or smart or quick survived.
As the afternoon waned on, the sun peeked through the clouds and started shining down on them. Julia pointed it out. "There it is, boys." She grinned, feeling really good to have the late September sun's rays on her face. They sat quietly a while and waited for the world to dry out. They surveyed the fence and Chess had the dads outside after lunch, which Kay also prepared. "You sure we can't at least pull that tree off and try to sure that fence up? I don't wanna spend the night out here. I been awake all night."
"Maybe you shoulda taken a nap instead of fucking Jesslyn." Chess suggested with a hint of animosity.
"Chess, I am complaining, but I will fuckin do it."
"I'll fucking do it." Chess muttered.
"Rotate." Jay said quietly. He suggested they spend the night rotating this unfortunate assignment. Until that fence was repaired and secured, they'd rotate this post and they'd do it out of necessity if for no other reason. He suggested Julia get in her notebook and figure out a schedule or they could just do it as they pleased, but there would have to be two of them at all times. Jay had spoken, Julia and Chess stared at him like he had just given them the cure for cancer. He was giving them information they already knew. His mood was quite off putting. Not his usual temperament.
They did as planned and rotated this assignment. Jody and Karen went out first when darkness fell over them again. Then while they watched the perimeter, the others who had been up for excruciating long hours napped and some slept. Alex and Tavin followed Jody and Karen. Then the next crew arrived, relieved them and the night moved on slowly, dragging. Alex updated Julia as to how many were in the field and they would deal with them in the morning.
Jay's mood continued on and as he and Julia laid down for a clip, he was distant with her. "What is your issue, Jayson?"
"I don't like this." He sighed. "Chess and me got into it."
"About?"
"What else is there to get into, me and him?" He replied as if he were giving her new news.
"Why? Is there a problem?" She laid down on her bed and waited for Jay as he took off his boots and he laid beside her. Both in clothes and ready for the next round.
Jay monotoned his conversation with Chess, how Chess had separated himself and isolated himself purposefully. All the bodies, the usual suspects under one roof was nerve wracking and depressing. Not only was Chess under a lot of stress, he was alone and on top of that, lonely. He didn't have the close knit bond like he felt before. He didn't have the connection and he felt left out even though he volunteered to be left out. The relationships under the roof at the time were all stressed. Even though they faced no zombie apocalypse at home, they had dealt with some fairly rough experiences. Chess and his work, the end of his marriage, the changing faces of the new relationships he'd forged. He had a life and she held him hostage.
"We can survive without him. I can take him home. We can jump before he even realizes what's going on." She offered Jay that much, knowing all the while he'd decline and so would Chess. Chess wasn't jumping anywhere as he felt a strong responsibility to these people, this home. This had been his purpose once and it would always be his purpose. Keeping his crew alive came before any other life he led. Chess viewed his loyalty as a fault as opposed to a bonus this time around.
Jay was moody still, complaining about going through the motions. He'd spent too much time away from all this and he was grateful for being away from all of it. He'd lived it, believed beyond hope that it was all over. Having this zombie world looming in their future at home was depressing. More depressing than the life he led. And that's what the farmhouse amounted to, misery. A depressing existence. The new normal was the old normal and that would last forever. He saw this as a dark beginning to an eventually darker end. How would they find happiness there? How would they forge ahead and manage to get along with each other after all the tension that had been building over the last few years? The animosity and the anger and the hurt feelings. Whatever good had come of it was dwindling.
As Jay rambled, as Julia listened in earnest, Ray dropped in and laid on the bed across the room. He lay quietly, pensively and Julia wondered if he knew he'd started the dose of meds that Tavin had prescribed. She doubted one dose or two would make a difference at this early stage of the game, but she had hope. She lay there in the quiet of her room with the guys and she thought that she was the only one who had any faith at all. Faith that things would eventually go their way. There was that inevitable period of adjustment that they had to hurdle when they transitioned from home to the flipside. As Julia hurdled that obstacle herself a couple times, having gone from the flipside to home after rallying from illness. She'd traveled, she adjusted. It took time. Jayson knew this as this was not new information. Their initial overnight in zombie world after the birth of Caroline had proven that. Jay had been moody since then. Occasionally he'd perk up and loosen up for her. Usually it was alone at night in the privacy of their room. She'd be working on one plan or another, head in one notebook or another and he'd sit with her and read over her shoulder, talking softly and speckling her skin with soft kisses. Those times when they could close out the world and entertain themselves was what she lived for and looked forward to. Sitting alongside of him, blocking out the world around them, waiting on the future to start and talking about the past. She waited a few weeks for him to bring up the past. She was wondering when it would happen. It was too good to be true. She realized that all she'd done affected him and if he chose to be moody, then he was allowed. If he chose to bring up the past and be abrupt with her about it, then he could. She wondered why he chose this day of all days.
"Cause I don't like the way he fucking talked to you." Jay answered. A simple and honest answer. He didn't like the bossy tone of voice and what bothered him more than anything was that she listened and heeded him and then submitted to him. She chose to walk away when told. She chose to do as he said.
"Cause he was right, Jay." She replied. Chess knew her well. Jay knew her well. Would this entire ordeal amount to a battle of who knew her the best?
"I wanted to fuck him up, Julia. You let him speak to you like a little kid."
"It is how we speak." She shrugged.
"It is." Ray spoke up from his spot across from them. "It's like they're mean to each other."
Julia heard that a million times from so many various souls who had crossed their paths. They admitted this openly that they spoke crossly to each other. They had their own special kind of communication. It may have been crude, but the point always got across loud and clear so there were no mixed signals. Julia felt it easier to communicate like that. She felt it was simple yet effective even if it was crude. Often harsh. But alone they spoke so much differently to each other.
"I have learned when to fight with him and when not to fight with him. That was a pick your battle moment."
"This is gonna be a rough year, babe."
"For all of us." She agreed, curling up against his side. "Can you talk to Jess please?" She asked since he was bringing up sensitive subjects.
"And tell her what?"
"To back off me."
"You let her do as she pleases." He answered, putting an arm around her.
"I have said my peace to Jess and putting us back in that position isn't fair. It's about us not-"
"Julia, let her be."
Let her be. Julia repeated in her head. Let her be.
"I'm sleepy for some reason." Ray offered suddenly, arousing Julia and Jay's attention as they drifted off to sleep. "I feel tired. I slept all night though."
"Take a nap, Ray. We'll go on watch later, ok."
Over the course of the next few days, in addition to their other work, the men rebuilt and reinforced the fence, securing their land from the threats of the dead. They were tired and worn and stressed. Some in the same clothes for a couple days. They felt dirty and overworked. Their dads were the ones who pitched in the most and worked the hardest, constructing Tom's vision and renewing it. There would be no phase one and Julia had spoken with Chess and they determined they wouldn't be taking on any phase two either. Neither seemed interested. Jody on the other hand found their decision to be an overwhelming disappointment.
"How much work do you want me to do, Jody? I am already planning about three different things."
"Well, I thought you'd at least want to explore the idea." He sounded disappointed and voiced his opinion to her, she should lead a constructive life. She shouldn't hole up, sitting behind a desk under a mountain of paper. He reminded her there was a big world out there and there were people along the lines of Kay and Katherine in similar situations who needed or may need help.
"Should I be the one to give it? Wanna have a town meeting?"
Jody seemed to like that idea. He suggested she take a page from her own book and pick her battle. "This is a battle worth waging." He thought.
Julia let them rest and let them all take a few days to catch their breath from the fence rebuild. When the work was complete, they all about collapsed into bed and slept well through the night. Hours passed unconscious to the world for all of them, including Ray who started to at the very least develop a normal sleep pattern. A week on meds made a world of difference to him and to all of them. His thoughts cleared up. His delusions were not as strong and he was most of all less suspicious of Jayson.
Jay suggested he start sleeping in his own bed in his own cubby in the addition. He also suggested that if his mentality improved, then possibly he could be brought back to the table in a functional capacity. Though even when Ray was at his most delusional and fraught with irrational thoughts and ideas, he was helpful and useful. He could gradually assume more responsibility. He would improve and those who were in the know on the meds marveled at his improvement as well as those who were not in the know. Ray was returning to a new normal, one that they hadn't seen since he had returned from school at the end of the spring semester. A good portion of Julia's pregnancy had been spent with Ray and his OCD behaviors to keep the men in black away. She'd fallen victim to his mind and had become so wrapped up in it. She was glad the meds worked as she could finally breathe a sigh of relief, a weight was off her shoulders as it was off Chess's. Seeing his brother go through that had been hard on him, but he felt some guilt for having subjected Julia to the madness.
"I am used to madness, my Chess." She whispered as she stacked the kindling beneath the chunks of wood in her fire pit. "Glad I could help him. I wanted to."
"Thank you." He said, sitting at the fire pit across from her a safe distance. He had to remember personal space. He found it difficult to remember personal space as she leaned over her pit. They spent so many nights next to each other at this charred, stone encircled fire pit that it stirred up memories for him, feelings that he forgot about or let slip away like the time had slipped away between then and now.
"Wanna smoke?" She asked.
"I did. Let's wait for the others." He replied, moving closer to the fire. The late September chill got to him despite the hoodie and the layer of clothes beneath it.
"Oh, sure." She said. "What is wrong, Chess?" She whispered.
"Seeing you next to this fire makes me wanna hold you. That's what the fuck is wrong." He answered, then let it drop. He wasn't about to start that melodramatic nonsense that plagued his cousin. Jay did feelings and emotion. Chess did not.
"I'm sorry." She frowned.
"So am I, Julia. So am I." He reached into his pocket and he pulled out the ring she loved so much. "See this?" He asked.
"Yeah, I see you pulled it out of the bottle."
"Fuck that fuckin ring." He said, sounding sad, holding up her ring. He tossed it in the flames as they kicked up between them. She gasped from the shock, unsure of how to react exactly. He had tossed it like it didn't matter. How was she not supposed to care?
"Why, Chess?" She asked as she watched the flames swallow up her ring. Their ring. Tears formed in her eyes and she sat back on her heels, kneeling by the pit. "Why?" She asked again. "You can't take that back, you know."
"I realize that." He nodded. "I been carrying it around again. It's stupid."
"But-"
"There is no us." His voice cracked a little. "This is where it started and this is where it ends."
"Don't hate me, Chess."
"I do not hate you."
She had a hard time believing it as he had just done the unspeakable. She instantly regretted ever telling him where she had hidden it in the first place. He picked up the bottle of hooch, the last one. He removed the lid, took a big gulp, then reapplied the lid. He tossed the bottle over the pit to her.
"Chess, that was unnecessary and cruel."
"Your specialty." He muttered, catching the bottle as she tossed it back over the flames. She didn't want to drink. "You afraid to drink, Julia?"
"No. I don't want to. I make the choice not to."
Chess stood with the bottle of hooch. "I am leaving."
"Don't leave. I'm sorry, Chess. I'm doing the best I can."
"Not good enough." Chess looked hurt and sad. "Hey, when I go check on Kay and Cass in the morning, I'm not coming back. I'm gonna see what's out there."
"No. Don't do this to me. You cannot leave." She argued with him, but he turned and he walked away. He didn't look back or listen or try to hear a word she had to say. He hit the steps of the addition and he opened the door.
"Chess, don't walk away from me, from us, all of us."
He turned on the steps. "What do you want from me, Julia? I got nothing. I been thinking about it since we got back here."
"Will you come back?" She asked, starting to cry. "Are you like leaving forever or for a while or what?"
"I'll drop by. Geeze, I ain't going far. I can't be here."
"No." She sounded like a protesting two year old. He stared at her.
He laughed, taking another step up. "Fuck you for putting me second and fuck you for thinking it's cool to do it." He mumbled. "Jay got your back, Julia."
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